confusion and pride at the same time

Amira

My Mom and I had a longer talk today. Today is the scheduled day of release and having time alone without the belt. So she unlocked and first thing I always do after this is taking a veery long hot foam bath for relaxation and for my inner well being. That's very nice but today it wasn't really sexual or something.

After I bathed (is that correct english?) Mom said she'd like to talk and so we did. She wasn't intrusive or something but wanted to know how I feel about the release days and if I feel any difference about my inner arousal in the days before the release and how I manage the building up of arousal over time.

I tried to be open towards her and she appreciated that quite a bit. I feel a built up of arousal the closer the scheduled release comes and this isn't a feeling I like when I am belted. I have a hard time to accept, that when I am out of the belt it is complicated to think of anything else but touching myself. I feel like being a servant of my body functions and in that talk I came to a point where I said that it maybe isn't the right thing to have these releases as they make me feel like a completely different person. So I asked her to put the belt back on me which she did. She said I could think about it for a bit and tell her if I want the releases or not. I am absolutely not sure what to do, I am confused inside. On the one hand pleasuring myself isn't harmful and a good feeling, on the other hand I don't want to do it like a robot would do it once I get the opportunity. I don't know if these things make sense, but it's how I feel and right now it feels like it was the right decision and I'm actually a bit proud of myself.

youdontknowme

Amira You should absolutely still have a relaxing bath without the belt on a regular basis. Whether you get an opportunity to masturbate during that time is a different issue, maybe you should start with a commitment not to do so and if that does not work on a basis of pure willpower, maybe try to come up with ways to make sure you are not abusing your breaks.

Renita

Amira I am absolutely not sure what to do, I am confused inside

Hold the line.

Joh

Amira It is your free decision what you are doing during this time. If you feel to masturbate, do it. If you have not the feeling for, don't.

Amira I have a hard time to accept, that when I am out of the belt it is complicated to think of anything else but touching myself. I feel like being a servant of my body functions

It is normal and most have this problem during their life. You have to learn to control yourself. When I'm at work, for example, I can't just give in to the urge. I postpone that until later. With you it's more complicated, because you can't decide freely when you feel like it. You have a schedule and it has to fit in. That means your body demands it when it is possible. Accept it as it is or change your possibility to get out of the belt.

Jonas

Amira

Before this forum, Ivana wrote this on Misterpoll which seems relevant.

"My advice for you: If there are any unbelted periods for you like "free days" or time at school or anything else: Offer to your parents to give it away voluntarily! They would be so touched and be proud of you! Reduce to cleaning breaks only, don't try to cheat and try to forget your belt. The more consequent you wear it, the more you get used to it and the more you will see that your need for getting out will decrease. Believe me, it works!"

I don't doubt her experience, though I don't know if it is the same for everyone.

Amira I feel like being a servant of my body functions
Amira I don't want to do it like a robot would do it once I get the opportunity.

Yes, and I can relate to this too. Although it is locked, my belt gives me mastery over my body and its desires.

However, whatever you decide, be happy!

Amira

youdontknowme You should absolutely still have a relaxing bath without the belt on a regular basis.

Yes, I think that's a really good point.

Renita Hold the line.

I don't think I understand.

Renita

Amira I don't think I understand

Keep wearing your belt.

Sin

Amira I'm gonna play devil's advocate... you absolutely should rub one out! You should be proud of what you achieve on a daily basis. Have a bath, use some oils, take some time to get to know yourself intimately, find out what you like and what works for your body.

I know a lot of women from similar backgrounds to you, and I think it's fair to say that a lot of their husbands are completely clueless / misguided when it comes to sex... especially the bit about satisfying their partner! Getting married does not necessarily equate to a fantastic sex life. You want to be able to guide your future partner in a way that satisfies both of you, and to do that you need to know what works for you and what doesn't.

By all means remain chaste, abstain from sex and keep yourself for your future husband... but take time out to hit the reset button once in a while! You deserve it. It's your time and your body.

James

Sin Amira I'm gonna play devil's advocate... you absolutely should rub one out! You should be proud of what you achieve on a daily basis. Have a bath, use some oils, take some time to get to know yourself intimately, find out what you like and what works for your body.

I know a lot of women from similar backgrounds to you, and I think it's fair to say that a lot of their husbands are completely clueless / misguided when it comes to sex... especially the bit about satisfying their partner! Getting married does not necessarily equate to a fantastic sex life. You want to be able to guide your future partner in a way that satisfies both of you, and to do that you need to know what works for you and what doesn't.

By all means remain chaste, abstain from sex and keep yourself for your future husband... but take time out to hit the reset button once in a while! You deserve it. It's your time and your body.

1001%.

Jen

Amira hi I'm thinking about this same stuff and I think it's something you've got to want for yourself. Some of what you said - like pride and stuff - I don't think is a good reason. Don't do it for religion or your future husband or anyone else - I think I had this idea and I wasn't calm about it - just thinking he won't care or think it's weird.
So yeah do you feel calm - like thinking there won't be any of that for years - do you feel calm about that and know why you decide it?

And what @youdontknowme said is good and probably you could not not give up the unbelted time at all just like promise to not to have any time alone.

And yeah what @Sin said go read that one again see you need decide what makes you happy not what others are hoping you decide.

carg

Amira

I'll play some more devil's advocate: suppose you were released more often. Wouldn't that make the urge to masturbate lower than if it has been quite long ago that you had the opportunity? And wouldn't that make it easier to choose not to, if you prefer that? In other words, with more releases the urge will be lower, and you will feel less like a robot.

This is just another point of view, and I'm not saying it is the best one. It's just another way of looking at it that might help you decide what would work best for you.
Or just make a deal with your mother that you'll try a period of fewer / no releases, and a period of more releases, and see what works best for you.
It seems link a big decision to make while you don't know what it will do to you. You should at the very least have some opportunity to go back if you choose no releases, like an evaluation point some time in the future.

Jonas

carg suppose you were released more often. Wouldn't that make the urge to masturbate lower than if it has been quite long ago that you had the opportunity?

I think you're right that the frustration can certainly go up with time, however the more permanent and secure the belt is, the quicker you dismiss sexual thoughts or transform them into other thoughts and actions.

Angelina

Amira

hi, nice to read an update from you again

but i have to say right away that no one can take this decision away from you in the end. so far you couldn't imagine wearing the belt without breaks and it is different to say i will stay 100% chaste than to tell your mother "not today" for once. i understand that you are very frustrated in the days before. you know that you will have your break soon and your body thinks about it more. maybe it is also the pressure to have to function.

i have a feeling you will make the right decision, but just in case you want to give up your breaks, don't do it without a contingency plan. what about the idea of trying it for a longer period of time, say 6 months. you stay locked up for 6 months and then talk to your mother again about how you feel about the issue?

Kaja

Amira Masturbate every time you can!

Angelina

Kaja Masturbate every time you can!

she can't always (physically) that's the problem 😉

Amira

i think that sounds good, so no more mastubation breaks for now? it's good that you keep doing your relaxing bath. what happens when you're lying in the bath and your sexual feelings come over you? do you tell your mother then?

i think it's good that you can go back in an emergency but that it's not made too easy for you. decisions have consequences!

good luck 😃

Amira

thanks to all of you 🙂

I read everything each and everyone of you has written.

Today it feels like the right decision to not have breaks for masturbation anymore. Even though this decision might be difficult at times it feels right.

I will still have the opportunity to take baths without the belt on for relaxation, but then the door to the bathroom can't be closed.

We agreed that the decision is not final and that I can back out of it at any time in the future, witz one small side agreement: When I say, that I want to get back to the old agreement, I have to wait at least one week for the first release. So it is made sure that the decision isn't made because of some kind of mood swing 🙂

Jonas

Amira When I say, that I want to get back to the old agreement, I have to wait at least one week for the first release.

This seems like a sensible way to start off the agreement, and a good trial to see how things go... all without losing the luxury of your bath. I would go for something a little longer than just a week if you want to revert to the old agreement though. Either way, I hope everything works out well for you!

Renita

Amira We agreed that the decision is not final and that I can back out of it at any time in the future

Be careful, it might not be possible.

Vanessa

Amira

I'm surprised to not have answered you,especially as I'm pretty sure I've read it...

Anyway,you're strong to have decided to not have breaks anymore!

But if you feel better for you this way,it is the right decision.

Good you can decide to change this rule again;and the one week wait is a good idea.

Renita

Until now,it seems her parents were fair about the rules,so I doubt they would betray this agreement.

Angelina what happens when you're lying in the bath and your sexual feelings come over you?

As the door would not be closed anymore during it,I guess she would not be able to disobey.

Billy

@Amira has your new agreement changed anything about thighbands? Do you think you will fight more or less because of this in the future?

Amira

Amira I will still have the opportunity to take baths without the belt on for relaxation, but then the door to the bathroom can't be closed.

Now I'm quoting myself....

Vanessa Possible,but she write "closed",and,in this situation,it would make sense...

I meant that the door to the bathroom stays a bit open.

Raziel I thought it was about to go in the wrong direction.

so far the direction of the whole thread was perfectly ok to me 🙂

Chris1 So to be sure I understand it right, you are still allowed releases but you're not allowed to touch yourself anymore, right?

Hmmm, it is a bit more complicated than that: I want to stop it so I asked to stop these releases for that purpose, but not for the purpose of relaxing baths. I hope you understand what I mean.

Billy has your new agreement changed anything about thighbands? Do you think you will fight more or less because of this in the future?

I think I am going to fight less in the future and I never really put up a fight about the belt anyway, I sometimes fought against the effects of it when I was wearing it though.

there's a bit of news about my thigh bands. I started to wear them on Fridays from after school till around mid day of Saturday. I do so as my Mom said that she thinks this is something I should consider because friday is the most important day of the week in the muslim week.

Angelina

Vanessa As the door would not be closed anymore during it,I guess she would not be able to disobey.

as i understand it, the door is just not locked anymore. that's why i ask. i can hardly imagine her calling out: "mom, please come into the bathroom and put my belt back on".

Renita

Vanessa Until now,it seems her parents were fair about the rules,so I doubt they would betray this agreement.

There was no serious reason for it yet.