My Mom and I had a longer talk today. Today is the scheduled day of release and having time alone without the belt. So she unlocked and first thing I always do after this is taking a veery long hot foam bath for relaxation and for my inner well being. That's very nice but today it wasn't really sexual or something.
After I bathed (is that correct english?) Mom said she'd like to talk and so we did. She wasn't intrusive or something but wanted to know how I feel about the release days and if I feel any difference about my inner arousal in the days before the release and how I manage the building up of arousal over time.
I tried to be open towards her and she appreciated that quite a bit. I feel a built up of arousal the closer the scheduled release comes and this isn't a feeling I like when I am belted. I have a hard time to accept, that when I am out of the belt it is complicated to think of anything else but touching myself. I feel like being a servant of my body functions and in that talk I came to a point where I said that it maybe isn't the right thing to have these releases as they make me feel like a completely different person. So I asked her to put the belt back on me which she did. She said I could think about it for a bit and tell her if I want the releases or not. I am absolutely not sure what to do, I am confused inside. On the one hand pleasuring myself isn't harmful and a good feeling, on the other hand I don't want to do it like a robot would do it once I get the opportunity. I don't know if these things make sense, but it's how I feel and right now it feels like it was the right decision and I'm actually a bit proud of myself.