Private messages

Joh

If both sides agree, the email address can be passed on by the admin. This is how it has been handled up to now. This prevents unwanted mails.

Renita

Rina I think private message feature would make trolls abuse it a lot.

I agree. Many perverts will join just to harass girls in PM

Laura

Renita Many perverts will join just to harass girls in PM

We might not allow it to everybody

JonesMacGyver

There could be a 30 to 90 day probationary period before that feature would be enabled.

James

Laura A perk for long time trusted members is an idea.

Renita

Laura We might not allow it to everybody

Then they will start begging you 😃

Kaja

Yes. Only for mebers. I wote for possibility to block an user (if he/she will behaved inapropriatly)

Angelina

I am generally against it. @Joh described it well, who wants to write privately with me should ask me and then I decide whether I give my email. But...

JonesMacGyver Perhaps this could be limited to messages to and from Moderators;

after what has been discussed here the last few days, this could be an idea, so moderators/admins can discreetly write to users when they have broken rules. this way they are not "publicly" maligned.

Joh

Angelina moderators/admins can discreetly write to users when they have broken rules

They can already. For that is is not necessary.

Angelina

Joh They can already. For that is is not necessary.

I'm also generally against it, it would only be good if these public reprimands were to stop

Joh

Angelina it would only be good if these public reprimands were to stop

This is the idea behind it. The Admin and Moderator are able to write an user an email to clear a dispute. It would prevent it from happening in public, which would probably otherwise look like an insult.

From the discussions we have had, I see that some new users do not understand what the moderator's job is. We've had two cases now where there was an ongoing discussion because they didn't feel they were being treated properly.
There is no absolute justice and the moderator has to find the balance between free speech, the forum rules and the legal boundaries. We all have to accept these when they make a decision and communicate it to us. It has always been a clear indication of what not to do and no one has been banned for disagreement as far as I know.
Thanks to @Ines careful moderation and the considerate behaviour of everyone, we have a forum in which we can discuss topics without escalating or ending up in a fight, despite differing views.

I hope we will find a worthy replacement and it will continue to be like this.

Angelina

Joh

i agree, we are only guests on the forum. nevertheless, i would like to know from a moderator why something violated the rules and also write if i think it is factually wrong. i still accept the decision, but would at least point out contradictions.

and exactly these discussions should not be discussed in threads, here it should only be about content.

Max9

so you mean outsourcing everything that is offtopic to private chats? the idea is not bad at all, it would help to discuss the essentials in the forum.

Raziel

I would like the idea to have a private messaging system where users can speak directly to admins or mods, but not user to user. The private conversations with mods could be about disputes, as Curious_101 mentioned, where users can contact a mod for private concerns. I'm guessing the flag/report function works similar this way, but having a response back from the mods would show response and action.

The reason I'd vote no, is because user to user private conversations would lessen the activity in this forum. I've read several intros where users read many posts before deciding to join the site, and because of that activity, it helps people get a better understanding of what this site shares. Plus, Rina and Renita are right about a possible wave of harassments popping up, the moment trolls are free to send messages.

Good luck finding the middle ground where everyone can agree on something. This site is going to be completely different one day.

Laura

Raziel I would like the idea to have a private messaging system where users can speak directly to admins or mods, but not user to user.

Such system is possible and can be set up right a way

Jen

Laura Mods to users private makes sense.

Max9

It would be useful to chat with your friends about anything not related to chastity. You make friends here and also want to be a ble to communicate with them about anything else you're interrested in.
Of course is security very important, people need to be able to block users and only approved members should be able to use this function

Max9

Angelina outsourcing everything that is offtopic to private chats?

basically, yeah. I mean, some things like marry christmas could be kept, but just some very offtopic things like political discussions, questions of the outfit to wear next day ... stuff like that ... because when you're new you will also see such posts in this forum whst makes finding the solutions to your questions or the basic discussions about chastity difficult

Angelina

Max9

i agree with you, i could be satisfied with that. i'm still sticking with the no, because i think that a lot of important things will disappear into private chats, but i'm happy to be proven wrong 😉

Renita Then they will start begging you 😃

"Laura ... please, please, please let me in" 😂

carg What you sometimes also see is that PM is only available between 'friends' -

this idea is not bad either. over the last few years i have met some people here with whom i would like to talk also beyond the topic of chastity, but not with all of them.

HHelen

Will it be possible to block PMs from some users?

saras

I like the idea but there needs to be a way to control it such as blocking users or reporting people

carg

I have not voted, since I am too much in doubt what would be best.

Messages between Admin/Mod and Users I would approve of; although that can also be handled by email, a PM might be quicker/more direct.

Some topics have a lot of remarks that are mostly meant for a single person, and especially if they are off-topic, I would like that those would be done via PM, like @Max9 suggests. Occasionally I have wished I could send someone a PM, because the message or reply could be sensitive, or not suitable for all members (esp. minors).
But I also fear abuse, and am not sure how easy it is to stop that / keep that under control. Obviously PM should only be available to members, but I suspect you couldn't even implement it for non-members, so that is simple.
Granting it to only some members quickly will lead to protests from those who do not get it, unless you have strict and clear guidelines who gets it. I can imagine no minors (for their own protection), and perhaps a probationary period like @JonesMacGyver suggested, although perhaps 1 month should be long enough. A minimum number of (public) posts could also be an option, but that might lead to a lot of irrelevant posts to quickly reach that threshold.

What you sometimes also see is that PM is only available between 'friends' - that way the receiver can decide beforehand if PM's would be welcome from a certain member. But that would also have to be available in the forum software and needs to be implemented and maintained as well. If this were possible, I'd vote Yes.

Joh

carg What you sometimes also see is that PM is only available between 'friends'

This is an option if it possible to realise.
As @Laura wrote the Moderator can contact member via PM for clearing any dispute or cal a warning. This should not visible to someone else.
If someone want to contact another member he can ask the member if it ok that @Laura send the email address. It worked fine in the past and prevented that it was asked lightly but only after careful consideration. Most of the conversation is still at the forum whereby some not suitable done in private.