Angelina it would only be good if these public reprimands were to stop

This is the idea behind it. The Admin and Moderator are able to write an user an email to clear a dispute. It would prevent it from happening in public, which would probably otherwise look like an insult.

From the discussions we have had, I see that some new users do not understand what the moderator's job is. We've had two cases now where there was an ongoing discussion because they didn't feel they were being treated properly.
There is no absolute justice and the moderator has to find the balance between free speech, the forum rules and the legal boundaries. We all have to accept these when they make a decision and communicate it to us. It has always been a clear indication of what not to do and no one has been banned for disagreement as far as I know.
Thanks to @Ines careful moderation and the considerate behaviour of everyone, we have a forum in which we can discuss topics without escalating or ending up in a fight, despite differing views.

I hope we will find a worthy replacement and it will continue to be like this.

      I would like the idea to have a private messaging system where users can speak directly to admins or mods, but not user to user. The private conversations with mods could be about disputes, as Curious_101 mentioned, where users can contact a mod for private concerns. I'm guessing the flag/report function works similar this way, but having a response back from the mods would show response and action.

      The reason I'd vote no, is because user to user private conversations would lessen the activity in this forum. I've read several intros where users read many posts before deciding to join the site, and because of that activity, it helps people get a better understanding of what this site shares. Plus, Rina and Renita are right about a possible wave of harassments popping up, the moment trolls are free to send messages.

      Good luck finding the middle ground where everyone can agree on something. This site is going to be completely different one day.

        Raziel I would like the idea to have a private messaging system where users can speak directly to admins or mods, but not user to user.

        Such system is possible and can be set up right a way

            It would be useful to chat with your friends about anything not related to chastity. You make friends here and also want to be a ble to communicate with them about anything else you're interrested in.
            Of course is security very important, people need to be able to block users and only approved members should be able to use this function

              Joh

              i agree, we are only guests on the forum. nevertheless, i would like to know from a moderator why something violated the rules and also write if i think it is factually wrong. i still accept the decision, but would at least point out contradictions.

              and exactly these discussions should not be discussed in threads, here it should only be about content.

              Max9

              so you mean outsourcing everything that is offtopic to private chats? the idea is not bad at all, it would help to discuss the essentials in the forum.

              • Max9 replied to this.

                    Angelina outsourcing everything that is offtopic to private chats?

                    basically, yeah. I mean, some things like marry christmas could be kept, but just some very offtopic things like political discussions, questions of the outfit to wear next day ... stuff like that ... because when you're new you will also see such posts in this forum whst makes finding the solutions to your questions or the basic discussions about chastity difficult

                        Laura We might not allow it to everybody

                        Then they will start begging you 😃

                            Will it be possible to block PMs from some users?

                            I like the idea but there needs to be a way to control it such as blocking users or reporting people

                            I have not voted, since I am too much in doubt what would be best.

                            Messages between Admin/Mod and Users I would approve of; although that can also be handled by email, a PM might be quicker/more direct.

                            Some topics have a lot of remarks that are mostly meant for a single person, and especially if they are off-topic, I would like that those would be done via PM, like @Max9 suggests. Occasionally I have wished I could send someone a PM, because the message or reply could be sensitive, or not suitable for all members (esp. minors).
                            But I also fear abuse, and am not sure how easy it is to stop that / keep that under control. Obviously PM should only be available to members, but I suspect you couldn't even implement it for non-members, so that is simple.
                            Granting it to only some members quickly will lead to protests from those who do not get it, unless you have strict and clear guidelines who gets it. I can imagine no minors (for their own protection), and perhaps a probationary period like @JonesMacGyver suggested, although perhaps 1 month should be long enough. A minimum number of (public) posts could also be an option, but that might lead to a lot of irrelevant posts to quickly reach that threshold.

                            What you sometimes also see is that PM is only available between 'friends' - that way the receiver can decide beforehand if PM's would be welcome from a certain member. But that would also have to be available in the forum software and needs to be implemented and maintained as well. If this were possible, I'd vote Yes.

                              Max9

                              i agree with you, i could be satisfied with that. i'm still sticking with the no, because i think that a lot of important things will disappear into private chats, but i'm happy to be proven wrong 😉

                              Renita Then they will start begging you 😃

                              "Laura ... please, please, please let me in" 😂

                              carg What you sometimes also see is that PM is only available between 'friends' -

                              this idea is not bad either. over the last few years i have met some people here with whom i would like to talk also beyond the topic of chastity, but not with all of them.

                                    carg What you sometimes also see is that PM is only available between 'friends'

                                    This is an option if it possible to realise.
                                    As @Laura wrote the Moderator can contact member via PM for clearing any dispute or cal a warning. This should not visible to someone else.
                                    If someone want to contact another member he can ask the member if it ok that @Laura send the email address. It worked fine in the past and prevented that it was asked lightly but only after careful consideration. Most of the conversation is still at the forum whereby some not suitable done in private.

                                        Joh

                                        actually i agree with you, everything that can be discussed outside the forum should be discussed via email. however, i would at least think if it is not an opportunity to close the offtopic topics (with reference to discuss everything else via PM), then it would also be easier for new users and they don't have to read through posts that have nothing to do with chastity.

                                        • Joh replied to this.

                                            Angelina
                                            I don't see the necessaries to close all off topics. It is part of the forum and if nobody would enjoy it we had no posts their.

                                                Might be we can separate this big forum to more smaller parts (like in others forums - for example https://www.musicbanter.com/) So the offtopics will be separated for first wiew,

                                                  Joh

                                                  maybe you're right, maybe you're not. i wouldn't make up my mind until it's been tested (if it is).

                                                  Laura We didn't want categories from the beginning

                                                  since i wasn't here at least at the very beginning of the forum and can't remember the discussion, may i ask why not?

                                                        Angelina may i ask why not?

                                                        To let it look similar to the misterpoll's thread, e.g. answer to new posts rather then go through all categories.
                                                        I can add categories, but then it will look like an old-style phpbb forum

                                                            Laura I can add categories, but then it will look like an old-style phpbb forum

                                                            well, i think that would be a decision the whole forum should make. i've been fine without categories so far 🙂