Jen It totally is that hard. Getting to the stage of being able to do something is most of the battle. Also it is hard to get anything done without having a list to refer to. Losing track of time is also chronic, feeling misunderstood and missing social cues that everyone else sees are also major pointers.
Girls are very often either misdiagnosed or not diagnosed. The number of undiagnosed women out there is definitely at least two times those diagnosed and it may be more like 3 times. Boys normally show the hyperactive aspect which not everyone has, but it is what everyone looks for. Most girls don't have the hyperactivity but they do show the other executive function issues such as fidgeting or distractability, disorganization, bad time management or awareness and missing social cues among others.
Not having the hyperactivity and being in a family of similar individuals I thought that I was normal but just misunderstood. It wasn't until I talked to a friend when I was about 40 who was diagnosed that I realized what was really going on. Now that I know it in me I can see it in so many people who have no idea what they are really dealing with.