Laura Inability to build relationships

What happens when you try to build relationships?

      Ines I only know you from the forum, and at least to me you have seemed a more interesting girl than the vast majority of those I know.
      Don't worry, @Bryan , I don't want to steal anything from you, I really like men, especially mine.

      Quite happy to hear things are going well for you on the dating front :-)

      Not sure I understand what you mean by "steal anything from [me]"?

      • Ines replied to this.

          Ines Since I was praising @Laura, I didn't want you to be jealous.

          lol. I understand now. I appreciate your concern about being perceived as a rival suitor for Laura's virtual affections ;-)

            Jen I'm worried it will get out and everyone will think I'm "that kinky girl who wears a chastity belt".

            Rather than something by which you worry you might be judged, I wonder if you could view your belt as something that helps you judge wisely? I grew up in a religiously conservative environment where folks take waiting for marriage seriously, but there were still many men who take this view as a "challenge" rather than a resolution. A belt is a powerful tool for putting the intentions of anyone you date to the test. If they care about you and your views on waiting, they should be fine (if not perhaps a bit frustrated) with your belt. If they have an issue with it (and the fact that no amount of convincing will get them certain pleasures without marriage) then perhaps they aren't worth your time. Rather than something "kinky", you are wearing something that gives you extraordinary powers of perception that most women don't have :-)

                Jen I'm worried it will get out and everyone will think I'm "that kinky girl who wears a chastity belt".

                I also. I must admit that my sister's experience also made me very cautious and wait for me to be clear that before moving on to the next stage that could not turn out well, he was my true friend.

                  Angelina you're an open person here, so you can bring it out.

                  But I'm too shy

                  Bryan What happens when you try to build relationships?

                  Ends quickly

                        Abby82 Also i'm afraid that the boys want to "go forward too fast" and im not ready to that :/

                        Isn't that the advantage of the belt? Assuming you trust him enough to reveal your equipment, there can be no ambiguity as to the speed at which things will be moving forward :-)

                          Laura

                          I would have agreed with @Angelina that you don't seem shy on the forums although I realize real-life interactions can be a lot more daunting. Does that mean that you feel relationships don't progress because of your shyness rather than people's reactions to your equipment?

                              Bryan what? - doesn't matter how I think it - that's not how rumours work. Like obviously I'll know him well first - but still ya gonna trust him not to tell any of his mates? I think dating is out this year. Are people more mature at Uni?

                                  Jen

                                  Yes, I was thinking more along the lines of post-college dating where social circles aren't quite as tight and rumors aren't as much of a concern. I doubt college age men are any more mature than when I was there and I understand your wariness. Still, it may be discovered regardless of if you date or not, and I do think that a bit of "owning it" might be able to turn the tables. No one is going to know the details of why you wear it and, from an outsiders perspective (I doubt your classmate are on this forum), it could just as easily be a power-move on your part, controlling what men can get from you, rather than something "kinky" imposed on you. I'm not saying you should be showing it off to everyone but, with a certain mindset, it might not be as concerning to consider some people being aware of it.

                                    Abby82 Also i'm afraid that the boys want to "go forward too fast" and im not ready to that :/

                                    Stop them. If he can't accept it than he is the wrong one.
                                    Beside of that their are boy who are not in hurry

                                    Jen Are people more mature at Uni?

                                    Is depended on the country and Uni.

                                        Bryan Does that mean that you feel relationships don't progress because of your shyness rather than people's reactions to your equipment?

                                        They didn't know about my equipment yet

                                          Jen Are people more mature at Uni?

                                          Probably not, but as @Bryan mentioned, it's an opportunity to re-invent yourself. Nobody knows you and you develop new friendships from scratch. That's not to say you won't still see your old friends, but a whole new world of opportunities opens up. The heirarchy and social order that developed in high school disappears, and everyone starts afresh.

                                          Then all the catty bitches in the "cool group" from school get knocked up by their abusive jock boyfriends, and disappear off the face of the earth... Well, they did at my school anyway!! You'll still spot them at the local K-mart for years to come, with their little tribe of junior bogans in tow. ;-)

                                              Sin that sounds like pretty loud Yes.

                                              I better go to sleep to keep any chance of getting in.

                                                Sin Then all the catty bitches in the "cool group" from school get knocked up by their abusive jock boyfriends, and disappear off the face of the earth... Well, they did at my school anyway!! You'll still spot them at the local K-mart for years to come, with their little tribe of junior bogans in tow. ;-)

                                                This image makes for more effective birth control than a factory full of chastity belts!

                                                  Abby82 Scared of that i'm too inexperienced and will freeze/fail or something and then its too late or akward

                                                  If you have not the confident I can only recommend a course for women where you can learn and practise how to stand your ground in such situations. It will certainly help you with the guys who get too pushy because they don't know where to draw the line.

                                                    Abby82 Yeah and if he doesn't accept the belt then he obviously can't be the right one 🤣 I'm also concerned about how my parents would react but i think that they would be happy.

                                                    Also i'm afraid that the boys want to "go forward too fast" and im not ready to that :/

                                                    right, if he can't accept it, he can't be the right one. a boy who loves you loves you even with a belt. why should you worry in front of your parents?
                                                    it doesn't matter if you wear a belt or not. no boy should go further than you want him to, if he does, he has disqualified himself anyway. a "dream man" should only go as far as you are willing to go with him.

                                                    Laura But I'm too shy

                                                    and? that's not a problem, there are also shy men, maybe that would be an option. 😉

                                                        Abby82 Look for a women selves defence course.
                                                        I got the information the biggest part is getting more self-confidence and how best to behave in difficult situations.
                                                        It makes a big difference whether you walk around scared or confident. Those who appear fearful are much more likely to become victims.

                                                            Joh Look for a women selves defence course.
                                                            I got the information the biggest part is getting more self-confidence and how best to behave in difficult situations.
                                                            It makes a big difference whether you walk around scared or confident. Those who appear fearful are much more likely to become victims.

                                                            Yes to the self confidence and counseling but no to the self defense...
                                                            Well I own some handguns but women aren't responsible for defending themselves.

                                                            @Joh do you know a womens dating course that would be welcome???