My Mom's chastity belt

Andrew

Sasha I personally don’t feel she needs to, she hasn’t as far as I know ever had casual sex with these dates, but it also seems fair though given my situation.

As far as I know, you started wearing the belt because you couldn't resist casual sex in any other way. From what you write, your mom doesn't have this problem. So I don't see the point in her starting wearing a belt now if she wants to start dating. It seems that she will be able to control her lust without the belt. I have the impression that your desire to pack your mom in a chastity belt is due to a certain jealousy (otherwise understandable).

Damien

Andrew I can't find any jealousy in @Sasha 's thoughts. Rules about sexual activities and dating lose their meaning if not respected by all adult family members. Exceptions are subject to discuss obviously, and that's what Sasha does.

Sasha

Andrew As I said, the subject of mom dating seriously came up during our discussion about me. And she mentioned the possibility of wearing one herself.
Me personally I don’t see it as absolutely necessary, but since it came up I’m asking for advice is all.
It’s actually not jealousy, I’m very proud of her that she has the self control I obviously lacked

Andrew

Damien I can't find any jealousy in @Sasha 's thoughts.

But given my enhanced dating restrictions the subject of her wearing a belt has come up, and brings up some conflicting feelings in me. I personally don’t feel she needs to, she hasn’t as far as I know ever had casual sex with these dates, but it also seems fair though given my situation.

In other words, "Mom doesn't need to wear a chastity belt, but since I do, she should too." For me, it's pure jealousy, especially in the context of the fact that the mother wants to start dating.

Damien Rules about sexual activities and dating lose their meaning if not respected by all adult family members.

I do not agree with this view. In my opinion, a uniform standard of wearing a belt in the family is a completely wrong thing (which I discussed many times, especially with @Ines and her family). The fact that one person in the family started wearing a belt should not oblige anyone else to wear it.

Damien

Andrew do not agree with this view. In my opinion, a uniform standard of wearing a belt in the family is a completely wrong thing

As are belting rules that are enforced on selected family members only

MissBlossom

@Sasha's mom brought up the idea. Sasha is the one who is hesitant.

Sasha To be clear though, she brought up the subject and is ok with the idea.

It makes no sense to accuse her of pushing her mom to wear a belt out of jealousy when she isn't pushing her mom to wear a belt.

Andrew The fact that one person in the family started wearing a belt should not oblige anyone else to wear it.

Of course it doesn't, but it does mean that other people in the family know that chastity belts exist and what's involved in wearing one, and are more likely to think about wearing one.

Damien As are belting rules that are enforced on selected family members only

In @Sasha's case, we're talking about self selection. Sasha had a problem, her mom offered a solution, Sasha accepted the offer and finds that it works for her. Why should someone else with a potentially different set of needs be obligated to adopt the same solutions? Why shouldn't different people in the same family self select different solutions to their different needs?

It seems to me that it's okay for two different people to make the same choice if they want to. I think it's also okay for them to make different choices.

Laura

Sasha Full time, just for dates, etc.

Let her decide

Sasha so she’s wanting to develop a long term and intimate relationship

But why chastity belt?

Sasha

Laura Mom doesn’t have a problem with self pleasuring, but sees sex before marriage to be wrong.
And she knows things can happen quickly

Laura

Sasha but sees sex before marriage to be wrong

Then what does "intimate relationship" mean for her?

Christine

Angelina if a stable relationship develops after a few dates, i don't see any more reasons for the belt.

It was clear, that it must be worn until marriage.

Sasha Mom doesn’t have a problem with self pleasuring, but sees sex before marriage to be wrong.

Sasha a hip style would be easier to conceal under different clothes is all.

My mom prefers waist style.

Andrew

Sasha When I read your post, I missed a fragment that it was your mother's proposal, hence I took it as a sign of jealousy ... 😉

pestulens

Sasha Question that seems relevant: Is your mom considering asking you to act as her keyholder, or just soliciting your opinion? Those are very different situations that would require very different considerations.

Sasha

Andrew It’s ok, I understand how you could have seen it that way. And I may not be entirely clear because it’s overall a topic I’m struggling with
But as I said I’m allowed to date again, with restrictions. And mom feels enough time has passed that she feels right looking for her next companion. So, we talked about it and that topic came up by her.

Sasha

Laura A relationship where there is deep love, affection and an understanding of each other. Essentially the point where marriage would be considered.
Perhaps close or deep would have been a better word choice then intimate.
Her dates thus far have been casual, friendly outings just to be around others.

Sasha

pestulens Where we are in the conversation is that if I think it’s a good idea, I’d secure her belt for the date and unlock it after. So more keeping the key safe for a bit then a key holder, though no less serious obviously

Angelina

Sasha

yes, asking about the keys would have been my first question, it's going through my head here, what happens to the keys?
and a second one, why would she need the belt? can she not control her sexual desire during a date? does she think she would make a thoughtless mistake? these two points must certainly be clarified

Sasha

Angelina So we have discussed this further and come to this point.
If I agree it’s a good idea, I will secure the belt before her date and hold the keys until she returns home. Same rules for my bands and bra.
Her reasoning is that she is considering it because firstly it’s a symbol that she is serious about no sex before marriage. Like it’s not happening serious. But she also understands that she hasn’t been with anyone in 8 years and things can escalate quickly between people, so would serve as a fail safe in maintaining her values.
I’m hesitant because I believe she really is capable of upholding that, but I can also see her reasoning behind the idea

Angelina

Sasha But she also understands that she hasn’t been with anyone in 8 years and things can escalate quickly between people, so would serve as a fail safe in maintaining her values.

that may sound a bit harsh, but if she's waited 8 years, i think she'll survive a few dates until she gets into a serious relationship, right? I mean, if that's really the reason, then it would have happened long ago, after 8 years no new sexual needs arise

Laura

Sasha and things can escalate quickly between people

Maybe that's why she avoided dating and a chastity belt for real really solves the problem

Renita

Sasha I will secure the belt before her date and hold the keys until she returns home

You are not a reliable keyholder.

Sasha

Angelina You may be right, her explanation on that was that up till now she’s avoided dating. Since she didn’t feel enough time had passed. So the “dates” she had were just doing dinner with a friend, or seeing a movie, just to be around someone socially.
So I don’t know. But I can’t really see a reason to say no, I mean she’s not asking for 24/7 like I am or anything like that

Christine

Angelina but if she's waited 8 years, i think she'll survive a few dates until she gets into a serious relationship, right?

But the belt is not supposed to go off after first few dates.

Sasha Her preferred option is a hip style belt worn only for a date.

Sorry for being late, but if she agrees to wear a belt, she should wear it all the time, unless she under your supervision. Btw, why hip style?

Angelina

Sasha

there are thousands of women who manage not to have sex on the first date and i think especially someone like your mother will manage it with her history.

Sasha

Laura You mean 24/7 like us?

Laura

Sasha For dates only

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