Why do you think masturbation is wrong?

Ines

youdontknowme If you were to argue that female modesty is more important than male modesty because that is a tradition you identify with, I can accept that as a good argument for living that lifestyle yourself,

He is saying it. He does not expect convince to anyone. He responded according our thinking:

Rafael but in the end these are our beliefs and I know that we are not the only ones to share opinion.

Kaja No proofs for your words.

They are our beliefs, not science.

Kaja But it is a CRIME that you are DESTROYING sexuality of your childrens.

He can respond by himself, but firstly in our family any child wears a belt, and anyone has sexuality destroyed.

Kaja

Ines Im sorry but I think that he is the same sexual predator of Charlotte.

Parents of charlotte use hard metods (drugs...), your parents use brainwashing. Metods are differents, but princip is the same. Im sorry for you. I dont want to offend anybody, but it is my personal opinion.

Sara2001

Kaja For me you dont answer the question. No proofs for your words.
Only causeless and unsubstantiated assumptions that every psychologist/sexuologist will disprove.

That's what I feel, too. I don't see the cause behind it, too except because I want it to be so.

Ines They are our beliefs, not science.

I think that's a good summary. You believe it's wrong because you believe it's wrong.

Andrew

Jonas

Modern medicine and psychology adds the caveat that masturbation is a problem if it becomes distressing to the masturbator.

I have never come across such a reservation in the context of masturbation, rather in cases of sexual paraphilias. It is possible, that some doctors and psychologists use an analogy here.

Further, society only accepts masturbation is normal if it's done in secret.

It's rather obvious, as with sexual relations.

The NoFAP movement and the widespread availability of hardcore porn has had a effect on modern medical opinion. There is a noticeable push-back on the relaxed, liberal, sexual views of the 60s onwards.

Looking at the changes in the ICD classification in recent years (ICD-10 -> ICD-11), I would say the exact opposite.

Kaja

Andrew True

Jonas

Andrew I have never come across such a reservation in the context of masturbation, rather in cases of sexual paraphilias. It is possible, that some doctors and psychologists use an analogy here.

See UK NHS for examples.

Further, society only accepts masturbation is normal if it's done in secret.

It's rather obvious, as with sexual relations.

The two are not the same. If people are caught having sex in public the newspapers will report it one way, if someone is caught masturbating the report will be very different.

The NoFAP movement and the widespread availability of hardcore porn has had a effect on modern medical opinion. There is a noticeable push-back on the relaxed, liberal, sexual views of the 60s onwards.

Looking at the changes in the ICD classification in recent years (ICD-10 -> ICD-11), I would say the exact opposite.

Perhaps this is because ICD suffers from lag. I think you have pre-existing views on this subject. Preconceptions, you could say!

Andrew

Rafael A very interesting answer. I see the dominance of cultural factors in it. Could you tell me what country are you from and what religion do you follow?

Ines

Andrew So I wonder what makes them reject the view expressed by mainstream medicine and psychology.

Truly there is not "mainstream" medicine talking about It. There are some articles, but mainly related to male masturbation, there are not medical evidences about any benefits of female masturbation.
Relief sexual tension, strength vaginal area, sleep well... are not benefits, since they are small, exist other ways to achieve those, or are unnecessary in most of girls.
Sexology is the "science" that touches more the topic, and obviously it has an important basis bias.

Andrew but none of them apply here...

No, certainly there is better motivation an reasons.

I share most of thinking of my uncle, but I think that exist another reason, it reinforces the path of behavior, setting and accomplishing the prohibition, it is obvious that all bad behaviors of a sexual nature move away from us.

I am not saying that this is nothing set in stone, and there are girls like @Sin or @Kaja who have another philosophy ans it's perfect for me, I do not say my morality is better, but I do not want their life for myself.

Joh

Ines there are not medical evidences about any benefits of female masturbation.

Then there is certainly no medical evidence of a negative influence or effect when women masturbate.

Ines Relief sexual tension, strength vaginal area, sleep well... are not benefits, since they are small, exist other ways to achieve those, or are unnecessary in most of girls

What speaks in favour of this is the beautiful feeling, which is not achieved by other means.

Ines I share most of thinking of my uncle, but I think that exist another reason, it reinforces the path of behavior, setting and accomplishing the prohibition, it is obvious that all bad behaviors of a sexual nature move away from us.

Since it feels right for you, that's what you should do. I think that's good.

Kaja your parents use brainwashing.

I don't think so. I am convinced that @Ines is very capable of forming an independent opinion.
I was also brought up as a Christian. Nevertheless, I came to the conclusion that there is no God and I am now an atheist. Education may have some influence, but it doesn't have to.

Andrew

Ines There are some articles, but mainly related to male masturbation, there are not medical evidences about any benefits of female masturbatio

It seems to me that the main benefit in this case is the pleasure derived from stimulation and satisfaction of sexual drive ... 😀

Ines

Kaja Im sorry for you.

I feel exactly the same for you.
I find very disgusting the apology of sexuality in your environment. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Kaja parents use brainwashing.

Kaja he is the same sexual predator of Charlotte.

Kaja I dont want to offend anybody,

😂 I am sure you do not want offend to anyone, as usual, for that your carefully selected words 😂

Kaja your parents use brainwashing

Yes... because a young girl spoiled by sex addition is much better than a girl behaving as is supposed she has... Bless brainwashing, then.
I am grateful everyday of my life for my brainwashing.

Angelina

Andrew I have a question for people who see masturbation as inappropriate behavior - why do you think so

if someone is single, i don't think masturbation is wrong, but i reject it in a marriage/relationship because i think it's disrespectful to the partner. sexual contacts should then only take place with the person i love

Kaja your parents use brainwashing.

no, I see it differently. Convincing someone of the family culture is not brainwashing, it is simply an inner moral attitude

Joh When you are 14 years old? 😉 🤣
It can't be a solution.

I don't actually find that funny, my girlfriend was also 14 when we met, so why shouldn't that be a valid argument?

Sara2001 I think that's a good summary. You believe it's wrong because you believe it's wrong.

well said, because with all due respect to science, i think we are talking about a purely subjective topic here. I respect all opinions, but please don't try to present the subjective opinion as objective science, there is no clear answer to this question of whether masturbation is right or wrong from my point of view

Avery

Jonas Further, society only accepts masturbation is normal if it's done in secret.

Private, methinks, is how it should be done. If you force your children to keep their sexuality a secret they are apt to feel it's something to feel guilty about. They will likely feel they cannot discuss it with you and will get their information from other people which is not what many folks here want.

Foxies

Addressing the original topic, I do not see masturbation as wrong. It is an activity that does little if any harm to others or their property. It can I suppose, like many other human activities, cause harm to the person doing it if they do it to the point where other activities of their lives are impacted, though I suspect this risk is overrated. Most activities done to excess can be harmful, to a greater or lesser degree. Masturbation is one more. I do think if there are partners, then the partner under certain circumstances could be impacted in a negatively emotional way.

In general, masturbation impacts no one other than the masturbator, and thus nobody else's opinion should matter. I say in general because one can always thing of extreme cases - for instance I would not be too keen on the pilot of the airplane as was in, masturbating instead of flying the damned plane! 🤣

youdontknowme

Foxies for instance I would not be too keen on the pilot of the airplane as was in, masturbating instead of flying the damned plane!

Either way he will have his hands on the stick.

Kaja

Foxies Good point!

Ines

Joh What speaks in favour of this is the beautiful feeling, which is not achieved by other means.

Making love with the right partner.

Ines

Joh Then there is certainly no medical evidence of a negative influence or effect when women masturbate.

Exactly.

Joh

Ines Making love with the right partner.

When you are 14 years old? 😉 🤣
It can't be a solution.
On the other side. If you develop your sexuality and you know your body and feelings this is an advantage when you are together with the right partner.

Ines

Joh When you are 14 years old? 😉 🤣

You should await. It is part of the nice! 😊

Ines

Andrew It seems to me that the main benefit in this case is the pleasure derived from stimulation and satisfaction of sexual drive ... 😀

Correct, but it is empty pleasure. Drug, mere addictive substitute of love, only pleasure that fills the life.

Avery

Andrew It seems to me that the main benefit in this case is the pleasure derived from stimulation and satisfaction of sexual drive ...

No doubt. Also I've found, before I stopped doing it, at least two other benefits which helped me a lot:

Achieving sexual release helped me afterwards to concentrate better on other matters, e.g. studying. Of course here on the forum we hear a lot of examples of where masturbation interfered with studying.
It helped me get in touch with what I needed to do/have done to achieve a satisfactory release, which helped me with partners who did not either know or care (or both) what the girl they were with felt.

Your mileage may vary.

Joh

Ines but it is empty pleasure. Drug, mere addictive substitute of love, only pleasure that fills the life.

I don't think so.
I agree, masturbation is no substitute for love. On the other hand why not have nice feelings. You also play games and the only result out of it is pleasure.

Avery

Ines Exactly.

I found a link to a study entitled : "The Role of Masturbation in Healthy Sexual Development". The title implies, I think, that masturbation contributes to healthy sexual development. But reading the study it's more a chronicle of problems: guilt, lack of information, being called a sissy, etc. I'm pretty sex positive but it was interesting reading about all the difficulties many young people had.

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/49810277_The_Role_of_Masturbation_in_Healthy_Sexual_Development_Perceptions_of_Young_Adults

Ines

Avery
😊
I read it this morning! 🥰

@Foxies @Avery @Joh @Andrew

Thank you for expressing your discrepancy politely. Reading your opinions improves the experience of the reader of the thread and even prompts a reflection that can lead you to see that you were wrong or to reaffirm yourself.

Jen

Avery

From the link..... contradiction of stigma and pleasure. Most of the women reported either still struggling with the contradiction or accepting it as normal.

This is exactly how I felt the whole time I masturbated. But I didn't give it up because stigma - I learnt it was never stigma and more what I posted above

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