Why do you think masturbation is wrong?

youdontknowme

Foxies for instance I would not be too keen on the pilot of the airplane as was in, masturbating instead of flying the damned plane!

Either way he will have his hands on the stick.

Ines

Andrew It seems to me that the main benefit in this case is the pleasure derived from stimulation and satisfaction of sexual drive ... 😀

Correct, but it is empty pleasure. Drug, mere addictive substitute of love, only pleasure that fills the life.

Joh

Ines but it is empty pleasure. Drug, mere addictive substitute of love, only pleasure that fills the life.

I don't think so.
I agree, masturbation is no substitute for love. On the other hand why not have nice feelings. You also play games and the only result out of it is pleasure.

Ines

Joh Then there is certainly no medical evidence of a negative influence or effect when women masturbate.

Exactly.

Avery

Ines Exactly.

I found a link to a study entitled : "The Role of Masturbation in Healthy Sexual Development". The title implies, I think, that masturbation contributes to healthy sexual development. But reading the study it's more a chronicle of problems: guilt, lack of information, being called a sissy, etc. I'm pretty sex positive but it was interesting reading about all the difficulties many young people had.

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/49810277_The_Role_of_Masturbation_in_Healthy_Sexual_Development_Perceptions_of_Young_Adults

Avery

Andrew It seems to me that the main benefit in this case is the pleasure derived from stimulation and satisfaction of sexual drive ...

No doubt. Also I've found, before I stopped doing it, at least two other benefits which helped me a lot:

Achieving sexual release helped me afterwards to concentrate better on other matters, e.g. studying. Of course here on the forum we hear a lot of examples of where masturbation interfered with studying.
It helped me get in touch with what I needed to do/have done to achieve a satisfactory release, which helped me with partners who did not either know or care (or both) what the girl they were with felt.

Your mileage may vary.

Ines

Avery
😊
I read it this morning! 🥰

@Foxies @Avery @Joh @Andrew

Thank you for expressing your discrepancy politely. Reading your opinions improves the experience of the reader of the thread and even prompts a reflection that can lead you to see that you were wrong or to reaffirm yourself.

Jen

Avery

From the link..... contradiction of stigma and pleasure. Most of the women reported either still struggling with the contradiction or accepting it as normal.

This is exactly how I felt the whole time I masturbated. But I didn't give it up because stigma - I learnt it was never stigma and more what I posted above

Jen

I think it was good to learn about myself. I don't need it though - like the want doesn't keep increasing with time.

But yeah - why not? I feel it is cheating myself - I want to only have one guy, I want to be a virgin when married. Just have all of that experience with only my man. Masturbating feels like cheating on that. Maybe if I only ever played with my clit it would be ok but being filled is part if my pleasure and that feels like cheating

Avery

Jen I think it was good to learn about myself.

😀

Jen Maybe if I only ever played with my clit it would be ok

If you're OK with that you might look up the Lovense Ambi. Nothing goes inside you.

Sara2001

Kaja For me you dont answer the question. No proofs for your words.
Only causeless and unsubstantiated assumptions that every psychologist/sexuologist will disprove.

That's what I feel, too. I don't see the cause behind it, too except because I want it to be so.

Ines They are our beliefs, not science.

I think that's a good summary. You believe it's wrong because you believe it's wrong.

Rafael

Sara2001 I think that's a good summary. You believe it's wrong because you believe it's wrong.

Kaja For me you dont answer the question. No proofs for your words.
Only causeless and unsubstantiated assumptions

I already said it at the beginning of my post, they are cultural considerations, I do not intend to make a theorem about anything.
Also say that I don't know why these beliefs surprise you so much when they are quite widespread.

Autoquote:

Rafael They are ethical and cultural considerations

Rafael I have tried to systematize my ideas, it is evident that our opinion is not structured in points, it is more "customary"

Kaja But it is a CRIME that you are DESTROYING sexuality of your childrens.

Here there aren't children involved, and anyone has a destroyed sexuality.

Angelina

Andrew I have a question for people who see masturbation as inappropriate behavior - why do you think so

if someone is single, i don't think masturbation is wrong, but i reject it in a marriage/relationship because i think it's disrespectful to the partner. sexual contacts should then only take place with the person i love

Kaja your parents use brainwashing.

no, I see it differently. Convincing someone of the family culture is not brainwashing, it is simply an inner moral attitude

Joh When you are 14 years old? 😉 🤣
It can't be a solution.

I don't actually find that funny, my girlfriend was also 14 when we met, so why shouldn't that be a valid argument?

Sara2001 I think that's a good summary. You believe it's wrong because you believe it's wrong.

well said, because with all due respect to science, i think we are talking about a purely subjective topic here. I respect all opinions, but please don't try to present the subjective opinion as objective science, there is no clear answer to this question of whether masturbation is right or wrong from my point of view

Avery

Rafael Here there aren't children involved

I think that is incorrect. If children grow up in a home which demonstrates a set of values it must impact the kids. I do not believe what you believe because no one in my house ever told me what you believe, not because you are wrong.

Sara2001

Rafael Also say that I don't know why these beliefs surprise you so much when they are quite widespread.

Because they are not quite widespread. At least not in Germany. Here it's seen as a very fundamentalistic and outdated point of view. Far beyond being conservative.

Kaja

Foxies Good point!

Joh

Angelina I don't actually find that funny, my girlfriend was also 14 when we met, so why shouldn't that be a valid argument?

OK. I meant it as a general solution is not possible.
If you are in the right age range it is possible in Germany. I don't know how it is in other countries. In that case it is a solution.
Under consideration you start to find out what sexuality is masturbation is the first step before you have a relation with someone else.

Jonas

Andrew I have never come across such a reservation in the context of masturbation, rather in cases of sexual paraphilias. It is possible, that some doctors and psychologists use an analogy here.

See UK NHS for examples.

Further, society only accepts masturbation is normal if it's done in secret.

It's rather obvious, as with sexual relations.

The two are not the same. If people are caught having sex in public the newspapers will report it one way, if someone is caught masturbating the report will be very different.

The NoFAP movement and the widespread availability of hardcore porn has had a effect on modern medical opinion. There is a noticeable push-back on the relaxed, liberal, sexual views of the 60s onwards.

Looking at the changes in the ICD classification in recent years (ICD-10 -> ICD-11), I would say the exact opposite.

Perhaps this is because ICD suffers from lag. I think you have pre-existing views on this subject. Preconceptions, you could say!

Andrew

Jonas See UK NHS for examples.

I'm looking at the UK NHS websites and can't find anything like that. Can you send some link? The UK NHS, on the other hand, has plenty of publications advising masturbation, and those who masturbate are encouraged to cast aside any shame or guilt:

https://www.sexualhealthsheffield.nhs.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Masturbation-web.pdf
https://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Sexandyoungpeople/Documents/4boysmay2009nonprinting.pdf
https://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Sexandyoungpeople/Documents/4girlsmay2009nonprinting.pdf

Jonas The two are not the same. If people are caught having sex in public the newspapers will report it one way, if someone is caught masturbating the report will be very different.

It is clear. In the case of public masturbation, we are usually dealing with exhibitionists whose behavior causes - especially in women - fear of a potential attack. For example: You will feel differently when you get on the bus and the guy sitting next to you takes out his dick and starts jerking off than when the couple in front of you starts making love.

Jonas Perhaps this is because ICD suffers from lag. I think you have pre-existing views on this subject. Preconceptions, you could say!

I have a very clear view on the issue of mastubation (as normal and healthy), but I also try to understand the opposite views and their background. Could you point to any contemporary sexological source that presents a negative attitude towards masturbation?

Max9

Andrew
Well, first of all masturbation is due to sexual desires and many people, as well as children, use porn to become aroused. But there's a reason why porn is actually prohibited for minors. It can influence their sexual education in a bad way and it can also give children the desire to realize their unnormal fantasies with other persons, also with older persons who are likely pedophiles.

Apart from that many people, especially men, don't have a high after an orgasm as man, others do, but become sad or even a bit deoressed after masturbation. For them (us) it's better to avoid masturbation because that way they can actually live an overall happier life. You can sort of compare it to alcohol or drugs. You have a good time when you orgasm, but after it's gone it's nit nice anymore and after some time you also have the desire to masturbate again which becomes stronger day by day.
Avoiding masturbation gives me a way happier life.

Also, it's just a nice feeling of safety that you have when you are locked. Of course the belt does have discomfortable aspects, but the fact that your genitals are covered closely by the warm "hand" of the belt just feels really good. Might also have to do whith the fact that some people / men like to slide their hand under their pants without masturbating.

youdontknowme

Max9 but the fact that your genitals are covered closely by the warm "hand" of the belt just feels really good.

Dunno about the warm part. I like the feeling of metal devices most when I am just putting them on and they are cold to the touch.

Joh

Max9 Apart from that many people, especially men, don't have a high after an orgasm as man, others do, but become sad or even a bit deoressed after masturbation. For them (us) it's better to avoid masturbation because that way they can actually live an overall happier life. You can sort of compare it to alcohol or drugs. You have a good time when you orgasm, but after it's gone it's nit nice anymore and after some time you also have the desire to masturbate again which becomes stronger day by day.
Avoiding masturbation gives me a way happier life.

This fits for you but I can't confirm it. And I believe you will find many men who have a happy life with masturbation.

Avery

Andrew when the couple in front of you starts making love.

I'd like to see that. How crowded is the bus?

Jonas

Andrew I once held your point of view and do have the sources that helped me to change my mind. But this conversation feels too adversarial for my taste. I don't need to climb up a mountain to convince you. I simply need to ensure that my own position is correct for me.

Andrew

Avery I'd like to see that. How crowded is the bus?

Usually quite empty, mostly on night lines. In larger Polish cities, such situations take place every few months. I suspect it's the same in other European countries.

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