Single again chastity

Avery

Jonas This is not to say that people shouldn't work on themselves and strengthen their moral fibre

I think what sometimes is missing in normal life situations are support systems. I frequently mention Muslims or Mormons as groups which refrain (pretty much) from sexual activity outside of marriage and never use belts. This makes up 1/4 of the world. But they are immersed in societies which preach these ideas. I've tried to change my life situation to make not getting off easier and that has made working on myself and strengthening my moral fibre considerably easier.

pestulens

Avery I frequently mention Muslims or Mormons as groups which refrain (pretty much) from sexual activity outside of marriage and never use belts

I wonder how many in those groups actually refrain as they are 'supposed' to instead of just keeping it quiet.

Joh

Avery I think what sometimes is missing in normal life situations are support systems.

The support and moral education should come from the parents.
I have the feeling our societies is loosing a moral and this view of the whole in which all people, beliefs and opinions are entitled to exist. They become more and more rigid in their view and deny the existence of others.

Different religions provide a framework in which one can grow up and which gives protection. But as with everything, it can be misused to establish extreme views or even extreme actions. The same applies to political parties or to those who no longer believe in anything and deny everything that does not fit into their world view.

Avery

pestulens I wonder how many in those groups actually refrain as they are 'supposed' to instead of just keeping it quiet.

That probably tells us more about you than about them.

Kaja

pestulens I know some girls whose go to church and nobody of them wait to marriage 😀

pestulens

Avery true, though probably not in the way your thinking.

Avery

Joh The support and moral education should come from the parents.

Certainement. No doubt we have some strong family structures here, but too often, methinks, we have people just clapping their daughters into a belt and saying they are doing them a favor.

Joh

Avery we have people just clapping their daughters into a belt and saying they are doing them a favor.

I looks like it is the easy way for the parents. Instead doing their job and educate responsible behaviour they use the belt as solution which may be in just a few situations an option of last resort.

pestulens

Avery Joh
From the cases here (which dose introduced some selection bias) it seems like using a belt isn't really possible unless a "strong" family structure allredy exists. I agree though, we have a lot of cases of parents using belts as a substitute for teaching their daughters good judgment or because they failed to persuade their kids to follow the way of life they think is best by the point they are growing up.

Angelina

Christine She regretted she didn't know about chastity belt when I was a teen.

do you think, especially in view of your first marriage when you were young, that you might have made a different decision if you had worn a belt?

Christine Then it could be one more empty belt.

and a complete waste of money

Joh and educate responsible behaviour they use the belt as solution which may be in just a few situations an option of last resort.

well, the argument is true, but it reaches its limits if you think, like my father, that it is precisely the belt that teaches me responsible behaviour.

Joh

Angelina if you think, like my father, that it is precisely the belt that teaches me responsible behaviour.

He can phrase it in this way but obviously the belt forced you. You had only two choices. Break with your father or go along his dictate.

Christine

Jonas Being caught would have brought this idea home with a bump and made the change actually happen.

Otherwise she would never agree for a belt.

Jonas but I hope you don't feel too much resentment about your time in the belt

I felt humiliated.

Angelina do you think, especially in view of your first marriage when you were young, that you might have made a different decision if you had worn a belt?

No, I don't think so. I'm a different type. Maybe premarital virginity, but it wouldn't make too much difference.

Angelina

Joh You had only two choices. Break with your father or go along his dictate.

Of course, I never claimed his reasoning was correct, it's just an example of how to turn things around as you see fit

Andrew

Kaja I know some girls whose go to church and nobody of them wait to marriage 😀

And then, being pregnant, they go to a church wedding in a white dress symbolizing spiritual purity and virginity... 😉 😆

Kaja

Andrew Pregnant? Why? We know what contraception is 😉

Andrew

Kaja We know what contraception is 😉

Unfortunately, theoretical knowledge does not always translate into practical application, which I have seen many examples of in teenagers...

Kaja

Andrew Nobody of mi friends admit unprotected sex.

MissBlossom

In the US we have a lot of places with abstinence only education, which I think would be fine if we also still had chaperones and courtship instead of dating.

But once you let boys and girls be alone together, you've basically given up on keeping them from going too far, so you need to teach them how to do it safely.

I feel like we would be just fine if we were serious about marrying as virgins, and we would be okay if we were serious about not worrying about it. (Not good, but okay. It would still be bad for the divorce rate.)

But instead we don't teach them OR supervise them, so we get all these diseases and pregnancies.

Joh

MissBlossom so you need to teach them how to do it safely.

I think this is the key point. It is not the job of the parents to protect them from every risk in their life. Later they have to stay on their own feet.
In my circle of acquaintances over the years, there was no one who had a child out of wedlock. I think it's because of the different way responsible behaviour is taught here.
Of course, there are just as many unwanted children here, but apparently fewer. Of course, this is just my subjective experience and point of view.

Avery

MissBlossom But once you let boys and girls be alone together, you've basically given up on keeping them from going too far

Are you not assuming that the parents have given them no guidance about going to far?

MissBlossom so you need to teach them how to do it safely.

Agree completely.

MissBlossom I feel like we would be just fine if we were serious about marrying as virgins

Yup.

MissBlossom But instead we don't teach them

Methinks you have it there.

George

MissBlossom Sarcastic answer: Don't worry, these will overlap greatly with places that tightly regulate abortions, it's a very American mindset that you share with Saudi Arabia and Iran.

Avery

MissBlossom But once you let boys and girls be alone together, you've basically given up on keeping them from going too far, so you need to teach them how to do it safely.

One needs to teach young people about the various methods of birth control, one of which is not doing it. I think my primary complaint about this forum is the attitude that they are going to do it so clap them into a belt (and then claim they agree).

I realize you didn't say that, you said teach them. I just get frustrated.

Joh

Angelina Of course, I never claimed his reasoning was correct, it's just an example of how to turn things around as you see fit

You mean you changed your view and acepted it becaus you could not change it.

Avery

Joh In my circle of acquaintances over the years, there was no one who had a child out of wedlock. I think it's because of the different way responsible behaviour is taught here.

I'm sure you're correct about your circle. I'm pretty sure in mine birth control has a lot to do with it.

MissBlossom

Avery Are you not assuming that the parents have given them no guidance about going to far?

I think a large number of young people will give in to their hormones regardless of the quality of guidance they receive.

Sure, many will have the strength and character to resist, but why leave them alone with such temptation when we know that many will fall?

"Dating," where we just let a young couple go off alone, is older than most people currently living, but it's a pretty new thing. Chaperones only went out of style within the last hundred years or so.

Joh

Avery I'm pretty sure in mine birth control has a lot to do with it.

What exactly does that mean for you?

Contraceptives and correct behaviour are the means of choice. A CB may be a last resort, but it needs to be considered very carefully.

« Previous Page Next Page »