MissBlossom so you need to teach them how to do it safely.

I think this is the key point. It is not the job of the parents to protect them from every risk in their life. Later they have to stay on their own feet.
In my circle of acquaintances over the years, there was no one who had a child out of wedlock. I think it's because of the different way responsible behaviour is taught here.
Of course, there are just as many unwanted children here, but apparently fewer. Of course, this is just my subjective experience and point of view.

      MissBlossom But once you let boys and girls be alone together, you've basically given up on keeping them from going too far

      Are you not assuming that the parents have given them no guidance about going to far?

      MissBlossom so you need to teach them how to do it safely.

      Agree completely.

      MissBlossom I feel like we would be just fine if we were serious about marrying as virgins

      Yup.

      MissBlossom But instead we don't teach them

      Methinks you have it there.

                Joh In my circle of acquaintances over the years, there was no one who had a child out of wedlock. I think it's because of the different way responsible behaviour is taught here.

                I'm sure you're correct about your circle. I'm pretty sure in mine birth control has a lot to do with it.

                    Avery Are you not assuming that the parents have given them no guidance about going to far?

                    I think a large number of young people will give in to their hormones regardless of the quality of guidance they receive.

                    Sure, many will have the strength and character to resist, but why leave them alone with such temptation when we know that many will fall?

                    "Dating," where we just let a young couple go off alone, is older than most people currently living, but it's a pretty new thing. Chaperones only went out of style within the last hundred years or so.

                        MissBlossom I think a large number of young people will give in to their hormones regardless of the quality of guidance they receive.

                        Young people do need some sort of a framework or a culture or a family tradition or something along those lines. They have to want to resist. But just to assume they will toss it all and just go ahead and have sex I think is wrong.

                        MissBlossom Sure, many will have the strength and character to resist

                        That's more encouraging!

                        MissBlossom why leave them alone with such temptation when we know that many will fall?

                        Perhaps because if they have no experience of the opposite sex it will be (more) difficult for them to know who to choose as a partner. Also, how do you prevent them from experiencing temptation? In Saudi Arabia girls can have no contact at all with marriageable males. Don't think we want that. Don't think we want to force girls into belts. What do you do?

                        I find this interesting but we'll never solve it.

                                Avery Don't think we want to force girls into belts.

                                Goodness no!

                                Avery What do you do?

                                I don't have kids, so I don't have to do anything!

                                If we did, I think we would encourage them to look for a spouse through group activities and courtship with a chaperone. If they refused I would do my best to love and support them however else I could.

                                      Avery To the question of what would you do. My siblings are being taught that it’s best to wait until it’s a serious relationship so the act is meaningful.
                                      However they are also taught that if they’re going to do it anyway, how to be safe. And the risk if they aren’t.
                                      There’s no realistic way mom or even I can always be around them, so mom felt that’s the best option unless things get out of hand anyway

                                          Sasha To the question of what would you do. My siblings are being taught that it’s best to wait until it’s a serious relationship so the act is meaningful.
                                          However they are also taught that if they’re going to do it anyway, how to be safe. And the risk if they aren’t.
                                          There’s no realistic way mom or even I can always be around them, so mom felt that’s the best option unless things get out of hand anyway

                                          Very sensible, methinks.

                                            Avery Sorry if I took it seriously.

                                            I'm sorry if I seemed too flippant. I sometimes mix silly comments with serious ones and confuse people.

                                            I do consider it a serious issue and what I gave was my real opinion.

                                              Sasha To the question of what would you do. My siblings are being taught that it’s best to wait until it’s a serious relationship so the act is meaningful.
                                              However they are also taught that if they’re going to do it anyway, how to be safe. And the risk if they aren’t.

                                              That is a good way to teachem how to do it right and safe and explain them all the risk.
                                              Nowadays, I have the impression that not enough attention is paid to the fact that an unwanted pregnancy can also lead to the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease or AIDS. Medicine has improved, but there is still a risk of permanent.

                                                  Joh depends a lot on where you are. I have friends who are teachers so I know their school do a pretty good job but I hear from them that kids who come in from other places are sometimes ignorant of such things to the point they think it should be a crime.

                                                    Angelina Of course, I never claimed his reasoning was correct, it's just an example of how to turn things around as you see fit

                                                    You mean you changed your view and acepted it becaus you could not change it.

                                                        Joh I don't think she has changed her view, but she accepted that her father had the power to make her live by his view even if she didn't agree with it.

                                                        • Joh replied to this.

                                                            pestulens I don't think she has changed her view, but she accepted that her father had the power to make her live by his view even if she didn't agree with it.

                                                            After what she has written, her perspective has changed so that she can better live with the situation and the disadvantages. Despite the different perspective, she is still against it, but she doesn't mind so much.

                                                                Avery I'm pretty sure in mine birth control has a lot to do with it.

                                                                What exactly does that mean for you?

                                                                Contraceptives and correct behaviour are the means of choice. A CB may be a last resort, but it needs to be considered very carefully.

                                                                    Joh A CB may be a last resort, but it needs to be considered very carefully.

                                                                    Only as an accessory.

                                                                      Joh I see what you mean, a subtitle but significant destruction

                                                                        Sasha To the question of what would you do. My siblings are being taught that it’s best to wait until it’s a serious relationship so the act is meaningful.

                                                                        I think that is a very good attitude

                                                                        Joh You mean you changed your view and acepted it becaus you could not change it.

                                                                        i have not changed my mind about the belt, but i have understood that you can't have everything in life and i have to pay a price for it if i want to continue my life as it is now

                                                                        Joh Despite the different perspective, she is still against it, but she doesn't mind so much.

                                                                        maybe it's also something to do with the fact that, despite all the justified criticism, I no longer want my father to be called a pervert or something like that here.

                                                                              Jonas Being caught would have brought this idea home with a bump and made the change actually happen.

                                                                              Otherwise she would never agree for a belt.

                                                                              Jonas but I hope you don't feel too much resentment about your time in the belt

                                                                              I felt humiliated.

                                                                              Angelina do you think, especially in view of your first marriage when you were young, that you might have made a different decision if you had worn a belt?

                                                                              No, I don't think so. I'm a different type. Maybe premarital virginity, but it wouldn't make too much difference.