Other people want me to wear a chastity belt

youdontknowme

Sasha And like most one-sided relationships, it was obvious to everyone that he only gave and she only took.

Milord

Sasha While I'm emotional and often blunt, my wife is much more cold and efficient, and her solution is exactly this way. She said that mine is not as good because it will expose @Carlos to additional emotional distress, while hers minimize it and at the same time makes very clear that this information has been already shared. This is a major point: in her experience abuse prospers in silence and shame, but once it start being shared with others, it is very difficult to keep it secret. Also, her solution could very well be applied to other abused family members, while mine is personal.

Sasha

Milord She absolutely right in her approach. It’s impossible to negotiate with abusers. And if he wants a normal life again he needs to be ready to tell them it’s his way or no way at all

Milord

Angelina at a certain point he almost got free, than the combined pressure of her and her family had him step back and submit. @Carlos fought a very difficult war here.

Angelina

Sasha And I can imagine how much it hurt him having to do this, because he genuinely seemed to love her.

that's exactly the problem, it's extremely difficult to leave someone you love, even if you realise that he/she is not good for you. i wish nobody had to experience that

Milord than the combined pressure of her and her family had him step back and submit. @Carlos fought a very difficult war here.

that's why the love and trust was unfortunately very one-sided. in a good relationship/marriage, the happiness of the partner takes precedence over the wishes of the couple's families

Milord

@Carlos i rerread all your posts, can you update us? Because I see that several times you were almost free and have been pushed back, and I really would like to know that this time is different and you are truly free. I know you own us nothing, but I will be very happy to know you are ok.

Sasha

Milord As much as I want him to be free of it, I honestly suspect he is still wearing it.

Milord

Sasha me too… but he got free, and maybe this time he really took his life in his hands.

I don’t know Sasha, I see so much misery tied to the belt. I mean, how it happens that the people that should love us most, parents, are able to inflict so much suffering to their children?
True for chastity belts, for TTI, for narcissistic abuses… I’m 50 and it still eludes me.

Apologies for this.

Angelina

Milord I mean, how it happens that the people that should love us most, parents, are able to inflict so much suffering to their children?

different understanding of love and care. my father kept me in his belt not although he actually loves me, but precisely because he loves me

Milord

Angelina and how he managed to see you suffering for 5years and more? Because it stab my heart every time I see my son anguish, and being the one that causes it will have devastated me so much that i will die before imposing it

Angelina

Milord

because he is/was of the opinion that in the long term it is the right thing to do, short-term suffering for long-term success.

Milord

Angelina i disagree with every single word.

pestulens

Milord I think almost everyone here is of the opinion that he was wrong, both morally and factually, but that doesn't mean he didn't believe it. There was most likely a degree of motivated reasoning involved.

Angelina

Milord i disagree with every single word.

i understand that, but i think it would be interesting if you spoke to my father, he is just as convinced of his view of things as you are

Milord

pestulens when I answered @Sasha it was on a purely personal position, and I keep this. Of course I don’t disagree about the fact that she, or her father think this way. How I could?
I disagree on calling love the act of damaging a loved one. Have you ever heard abusive parents? According to my wife all of them are convinced that they hurt their children out of love. And while here we are on the field of personal feelings, I still refuse to call this “love”.
Btw if you take a look to my poll, you would have noticed that for several people belting “no matter what” or with emotional blackmail is acceptable

pestulens

Milord True, though that camp is in the minority, they do add up to about 15% of respondents which I acknowledge is a bit much to call 'almost no one'.

Milord

Angelina

As much as he can be convinced, by any right, legal, moral, ethic or scientific, he is wrong. So much that he has to emotionally and financially blackmail you to comply, something I will never do to my son. But unfortunately it will never happens, so it's irrelelvant.

Angelina

Milord As much as he can be convinced, by any right, legal, moral, ethic or scientific, he is wrong.

I hardly believe that is possible, he still thinks it was the right decision and maybe I even helped him, I am now happily married and am successful in my studies, exactly what my father wanted to achieve with the belt, so it is no wonder that he sees his decision confirmed

Milord

Angelina I think this is useless. I think that there is only one person that can decide if he did good or wrong, and it's you. if you think he did well into belting you, and you will apply the same to a future daughter, then in your case he has been successful. You are the only one that have the right to judge your father. I can judge his behaviour and qualify it as wrong, criminal and immortal, but only you can say if he is a successful father or not.

Angelina

Milord that can decide if he did good or wrong

it's not about good or wrong, it's about whether he achieved the goals he wanted to achieve by using the belt and he did. what i or others think about that is another question

Milord but only you can say if he is a successful father or not.

despite the whole thing with the belt, i would still say he was/is a good father

Padre

Milord and you will apply the same to a future daughter

Why is it important to treat a future daughter the same way as how your parents have treated you? Is the parent only successful if you put your future daughter in a belt too? I don't get that.

Milord

Angelina

Your happiness is the only thing that matters. More than my belief, so if you are unscathed, much better!
Just be aware that most people abused by parents realize it later in their life. In case a good therapist experience with post traumatic stress syndrome and in familiar therapy can be very useful (this is my wife idea).

« Previous Page Next Page »