Other people want me to wear a chastity belt

MissBlossom

Carlos
Well, when in doubt, assume something good!

Maybe she was just enjoying how you smell and thinking about how much she loves you, how much she would miss you, and how strong and sexy you are when you stand up for yourself!

Carlos

MissBlossom

Well lets hope so.

She does seem in a funny mood this evening she is being a lot quieter than i expected and she came home with a few bottles of wine and gin and tonics.

You know when you just get something is up but you can not tell what. I have been getting that feeling all evening.

pestulens

Carlos Glad to hear it went well. It sounds like she was willing to listen.
Based on your descriptions of her behavior the next day, it sounds like she is having a hard time but not reaching as badly as could be feared. It's probably a good idea to go out of your way to reassure her in the next few days. Long term, she probably needs help dealing with what happened in her last relationship, her behavior would seem to indicate she still isn't able to deal with it in a healthy way.

Carlos

pestulens Well willing to listen vs has to listen i am not so sure.

I know i am going to have to support her the next few days. I know she is going to come up with every excuse possible to get me back in. I just hope she can learn to deal with her past.

Joh

Carlos Congratulation to stand up for yourself and you are still together.

I recommend you talk with her about her bad experience and how you can help her to overcome the mistrust. Ask her if she think if it would help to go to professional. They can help her to solve her problem. It would improve you both life.

Sasha

Carlos I am not sure what she was doing when i caught her smelling my clothes.

Unfortunately looking for evidence, lipstick, perfume, hairs, etc.

I’m happy to hear the talk went well, but I should repeat what the others have said already. Stand by your limits, and be clear they are hard limits, no negotiation. I’d also suggest changing computer and phone passwords. That’s yours, not hers to be going through.

I’m happy to hear this talk went well, and you are a good man to stand by her. Just be there and be supportive but do not budge on those limits.

Angelina

Carlos

that sounds good, it's nice that your relationship still exists. i also see that your girlfriend is now taking the first steps to really trust you, it's not yet at 100% but i think that can be the first step on a good path. 🙂

Sasha Unfortunately looking for evidence, lipstick, perfume, hairs, etc.

I think so too @Carlos don't give her a reason to get suspicious anytime soon, then you will still be free to continue your relationship anyway. 😉

toad

Carlos smelling for perfume and the scent of a woman

KarimM

If you don't want REFUSE.

Jonas

Carlos i laid out bare that detest being locked up and her suggested compromises were not compromises at all and i am not going to live my life like this.

Good job. Well done. Don't ever discuss it again, don't weaken, destroy the devices.

I personally wouldn't tolerate a relationship where I wasn't trusted.

Sasha

Joh Could also share this with her.
I’m not proud of it, but many times I was the girl they cheated with.
I never had to try very hard, those boys were all trash and with the least amount of effort they were with me.
It hurts I’m sure, but she needs to know those boys were never going to stay, and were trash from the start. The ones worth keeping turned me down every time without fail.
Hope I can meet a girl or boy like that

Angelina

Sasha

But with you it's the other way round, @Carlos' girlfriend has been cheated on and hasn't slept with other men herself, the bad thing is that now she is projecting her fear onto @Carlos.
PS: good that you have now taken a different path, I don't know how necessary the chastity belt is for that, but it seems to influence you positively. 🙂

Sasha

Angelina I know, I just feel it’s necessary that the people who have been cheated on understand why it happened.
It was never them. The cheater was trash from the start, had no respect and wasn’t worth keeping to begin with. I’m sure it hurts, it has to. But she did nothing wrong, and that wasn’t a relationship that would last anyway.
As far as my chastity, it was entirely necessary. Sex was like a drug to me. Just needed more and more and didn’t care how I got it. The trash that cheats on good girls like her were the easiest. Absolutely no effort required.

Angelina

Sasha

it is certainly hard to be cheated on and certainly hard to build new honest feelings for someone afterwards, but still you should not lock your partner in a chastity belt against their will. in your case i am glad that you are interested in honest relationships now, good luck

Sasha

Angelina Entirely agree

Raziel

I had a scenario where a woman I once dated, was actually married and I didn't know that until many months later.

The thing about people is that everyone is different, and if Carlos' girlfriend cannot see him as a different guy than her ex, then she is going through an issue she needs to solve first before entering the relationship. I don't know if she had time to forget her ex, but carrying that baggage into this current relationship is going to stress you out, Carlos. I would suggest working together with her to show that you are a different person, but she needs to put more effort into being honest about her views. That sniffing clothes crap is doubt, and if she isn't 100% set on working it out, then this woman may be a lost cause.

Teach her to see everyone differently, not as the same scum that she met before.

pestulens

Raziel I agree in principle, though I think a little Latitude for her is warranted give that she just had a pretty major step imposed on her, no matter how necessary it was.
That definitely has to be temporary, for her sake as much @carlos since I can't imagine that level of paranoia is healthy or pleasant.
Edit: corrected word choices

Jonas

Raziel if Carlos' girlfriend cannot see him as a different guy than her ex, then she is going through an issue she needs to solve first before entering the relationship. I don't know if she had time to forget her ex, but carrying that baggage into this current relationship is going to stress you out, Carlos

Strongly agree with this. ⬆

But as @pestulens writes, it is a big change. The belt was already in place at the start of the relationship and also your acceptance of control wasn't in any real doubt back then. Time is required here.

In terms of cheating, you are a different man and should not be treated as if you've been unfaithful when you haven't. That would be very wrong.

Hope things are going ok @Carlos.

Laura

Raziel I had a scenario where a woman I once dated, was actually married and I didn't know that until many months later.

Chastity belt could be an answer

Angelina

Jonas In terms of cheating, you are a different man and should not be treated as if you've been unfaithful when you haven't. That would be very wrong.

right, i think that is the crucial point, every person is different

Renita With engraved marital status 😃

😂

PS: @Carlos Any Updates?

Kaja

Laura For him or for her? Absurdity of both is the same.

Renita

Laura Chastity belt could be an answer

With engraved marital status 😃

Laura

Kaja For her

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