How much do you think about quitting?

Andrew

Jonas Jen just needs to wear for longer periods. Increased security = decreased anxiety imo.

Jen I dunno I'm just like how long do I do this for - it's like I'm getting older but not growing up.

It is very rare for me to advocate any compulsion to wear a chastity belt, but I have a strong impression that your dilemma really results from too loose rules of its wearing. On the one hand, you want to wear the belt, on the other, it causes you emotional discomfort. Because you can give up wearing it very easily, it's hard for you to overcome the frustration that comes with wearing a belt. Considering your current family situation (living with your parents), I think you should talk to them to have them look after you more for a few months (ideally wearing a belt 24/7 during this time). If stricter discipline doesn't help and you still have constant dilemmas, just give up the belt and wait until you have a permanent partner / husband. Then you can try to go back to wearing it.

Angelina

Andrew

I would actually agree with you, but I remember how @Jen's situation started and that at least her mother could easily abuse this power. Generally you're not wrong though, I think @Jen's vacillations are a result of her opportunity giving up easily

Jen

Jonas Anyways, I'm wondering if it's hygiene that's putting off greater wear time here.

I like that it feels tight on me but I think 24x7 would have to be much looser.

Andrew Because you can give up wearing it very easily, it's hard for you to overcome the frustration that comes with wearing a belt.

No I'm ok with the frustration. It's more than that it's like two things it's access to my own body - part of me! - it's off limits. Like it's hard to not feel like I'm less than everyone because of it.
And also just being with a guy - I want to know what it's like - like it's this experience people have and I don't - I want to know. It'd be easier if everyone was in chastity.

Jonas

Angelina but I remember how @Jen's situation started and that at least her mother could easily abuse this power.

On the other hand, it would definitely make for a stricter regime and put an end to the vacillating. If it were at Jen's request that could make all the difference.

Anyways, I'm wondering if it's hygiene that's putting off greater wear time here. Certainly that's what delayed me. Unless I was just stalling. Could have been a bit of that too.

Andrew

Angelina but I remember how @Jen's situation started and that at least her mother could easily abuse this power.

The risk of abuse of power will always exist in a relationship where a chastity belt is used. However, I don't think that's likely in @Jen's case, given how she was able to defend herself against her mother's imposition of the belt.

Angelina

Jonas On the other hand, it would definitely make for a stricter regime and put an end to the vacillating. If it were at Jen's request that could make all the difference.

that may be, but its @Jen who should and must decide whether a stricter regime would help her.

Andrew However, I don't think that's likely in @Jen's case, given how she was able to defend herself against her mother's imposition of the belt.

yes, because she was absolutely against it, but if she were to hand over the key voluntarily now, the situation would simply look different. the mother could interpret it as a sign that she has now changed her attitude and wants the parents to take full control

Jonas

Jen I like that it feels tight on me but I think 24x7 would have to be much looser.

My belt feels tight all the time, but my body has adjusted to it. Was thinking more of toilet/bathing issues. That's what delayed 24x7 for me.

Jen like I'm less than everyone because of it.
Jen And also just being with a guy - I want to know what it's like
Jen it's this experience people have

Patience. (Not that I have any either!)

Jen It'd be easier if everyone was in chastity.

Not everyone could manage it.

Andrew

Jen No I'm ok with the frustration.

When I write about frustration, I mean not only the lack of sexual satisfaction, but also all the negative mental experiences associated with wearing the belt.

It's more than that it's like two things it's access to my own body - part of me! - it's off limits. Like it's hard to not feel like I'm less than everyone because of it.

It seems to me that it will be best if you treat the chastity belt a bit like medical aids such as a collar or a back brace. These devices also limit access to the body and its mobility, are uncomfortable, but they are worn for a specific reason. They also do not make the wearer "inferior". Similarly, you wear a belt to protect you from undesirable behavior and you are no worse than others for it.

And also just being with a guy - I want to know what it's like - like it's this experience people have and I don't - I want to know. It'd be easier if everyone was in chastity.

There is, unfortunately, a contradiction between "serious" wearing a chastity belt and having sex. Being maiden you can't combine these two issues, you have to choose either one or the other. If the belt fascinates you, but you want to have sex, use it when you have a permanent sexual partner.

Joh

Jen And also just being with a guy - I want to know what it's like - like it's this experience people have and I don't

Not everyone has this experience if they do not wear a belt.
What you get out of it is very dependent on how you two go about it and how he behaves. It can be wonderful and a lasting experience or a total flop.
The most important thing is how you feel about him, if it feels right in the moment, how he appears to you and what is important to him.
If he only wants sex, he won't pay much attention to how you feel. Keep your hands off him.

curious

@Jen
Valuable advise from @John
I would even go so far as to say:
If he shows interst in you and the time comes when he would learn about your belt, make it clear to him that if he really likes you, he will have to start out a relationship with you where sex is not an option in the near future because of the belt.

If he then disappears you know he was never truly interested in you as a person in the first place.

Andrew

Angelina mother could interpret it as a sign that she has now changed her attitude and wants the parents to take full control

This is more or less what I mean, but the level of control should be agreed in advance, as well as the date after which (e.g. at the end of the year) she will be able to stop wearing the belt or go back to the previous model of wearing it.

Jonas

Angelina that may be, but its @Jen who should and must decide whether a stricter regime would help her.

Ofc

Angelina the mother could interpret it as a sign that she has now changed her attitude and wants the parents to take full control

Many people desperately want to have access to a loving keyholder who is engaged in their chastity. Someone who is able to say a firm "No" when required. Stricter chastity is an option for @Jen is all I'm saying.

Andrew the level of control should be agreed in advance,

Yes. There cannot ever be any power exchange here! That's way too close to bdsm. Instead, a voluntary agreement, with clear limits defined at the outset.

The keyholder is there to enact the wearer's will, where that will is temporary blotted out the by sex drive.

Angelina @Jen defines the conditions and the parents are only allowed to act within these conditions

This rule should apply to all wears.

Andrew if parents are to enforce these conditions, they will also want to have a say in their matter.

The agreement becomes a negotiation at this point, but yeah, as long as limits are agreed voluntarily.

Ines It was always the frame of Jen' s belting.

She had to take control of it because her parents were so incredibly bad at keyholding!!

It is a bit strange but it seems to work well, ups and downs are common to every girl.

And boy! 🙂

I am sure she will find the right path to be happy in the next stage.

Me too. Good luck Jen.

Angelina

Andrew This is more or less what I mean, but the level of control should be agreed in advance, as well as the date after which (e.g. at the end of the year) she will be able to stop wearing the belt or go back to the previous model of wearing it.

In any case, it must be the case that @Jen defines the conditions and the parents are only allowed to act within these conditions

Jen

Ines Well, she never gave them the chance!

Omg I so want to say how extreme and unrealistic and impossible the beginning was like I didn't grow up with it I could barely make sense of it - it wasn't like you - and they weren't saying it was an option or something to think about - they tricked me and then just like I've promised so I have to do this.

Ok rant over. It worked out after it changed.

Andrew This is more or less what I mean, but the level of control should be agreed in advance, as well as the date after which (e.g. at the end of the year) she will be able to stop wearing the belt or go back to the previous model of wearing it.

This can't work - there's no way to enforce it like there's no agreement which I can't get out of if I change my mind. See even if they had the key and supervised cleaning and all the rubbish - it could only continue if I allowed it. Doesn't matter if I said a year - they can't hold me to it. Like it still depends on me - that's what I'm doing anyway - would just be lot more annoying.

If only there was such a magical indestructible belt

Andrew

Angelina it must be the case that @Jen defines the conditions

Of course, she must agree to them, but it is obvious that if parents are to enforce these conditions, they will also want to have a say in their matter.

Ines

Angelina In any case, it must be the case that @Jen defines the conditions and the parents are only allowed to act within these conditions

It was always the frame of Jen' s belting.
It is a bit strange but it seems to work well, ups and downs are common to every girl.
I am sure she will find the right path to be happy in the next stage.

Angelina

Andrew but it is obvious that if parents are to enforce these conditions, they will also want to have a say in their matter.

of course the parents are allowed to do that, I think it has to be a fair negotiation process.

Ines I am sure she will find the right path to be happy in the next stage.

yes, i think so too, i hope she finds a way that makes her happy

Jonas Stricter chastity is an option for @Jen is all I'm saying.

definitely, but only if @Jen wants it and the key holders are aware of the responsibility and do not abuse the power.

Ines

Jonas She had to take control of it because her parents were so incredibly bad at keyholding!!

Well, she never gave them the chance!

Zoe

Sorry for butting in. 🙂

Jonas The keyholder is there to enact the wearer's will, where that will is temporary blotted out the by sex drive.

That's a very interesting thought. Guess it doesn't really make a difference to the point, but how many wearers woke up one day and decided, they need metal underwear with a lock.

I started wearing mine for my girlfriend. And while I still keep telling myself I am only doing it for her, I often find putting it on myself voluntarily, when I get a "holiday". Weirdly I feel safer and calmer wearing it most of the time. For me until yesterday, I felt always in control of it, as I knew where the spare keys are.

Now that I have lost the control, my brain is playing a different movie. And I am in two minds if I prefer this actually. Or really really hate it. As it means I have no choice than accepting that I can't take it off without jumping through a new set of hoops.

@Jen do you think, losing the control of being able to decide to quitt would help? I mean without proving to the keyholder, that you are 101% sure this is the end of it and not just a moodswing?

Damien

Jen OK, here's your magic, indestructible belt of heavenly steel. Finger safe, self cleaning, shiny and elegant, and easy to hide under a brazilian bikini. Locks with a click, can only be used once.
What date and time should it reopen?

Jonas

Jen Omg I so want to say how extreme and unrealistic and impossible the beginning was like

They almost messed up the whole idea permanently, which as we now see would have been a shame. I really don't know how you coped with it all. I guess key-holding has its challenges and difficulties too. As Laura says, people can only be convinced, never forced.

Jen there's no agreement which I can't get out of if I change my mind.

Here we run into the consent issue again. Sexual consent must able to be withdrawn at any time, but chastity belts are designed to enforce chastity to a greater or lesser degree. The issue boils down to whether people are allowed to make non-reversible pre-commitments.

An indestructible belt would enforce such choices and enforce the wearer's (cool-headed) choices and will.

Ines

Jen

You did great, Jen.
You made your proper chastity path.
@Avery and you are admirable for that.

Jen

Damien I've been scared to answer. Locks with a click you say - just argh click like I can imagine that click. I'd be scared to have it, just setting a short time would be so disappointing but I could make a really bad mistake with it too!
I think a lot my anxiety is my controller I worry what I'll feel of myself if I quit

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