Advice for potential new Keyholders

Joh

Jonas We remain slaves to our own sex drives.

Only If you are not able to enjoy it at the right time and be Not distracted the other time.
Our Sex Drive is Part of our self and you have to learn to live with it. Some have a low other a high one. And so is no solution which fits all.

Your solution solves one Problem but creat another Problem. Frustration which is hard to handle. Many propose to distract yourself e.g. Work or learning. But If you are able to distract yourself you are also able to do so If you can Not pleasure yourself at the wrong time.
Why can't time without belt not be a bonus you earn for good results?

Jonas

Joh Your solution solves one Problem but creat another Problem. Frustration which is hard to handle.

To be clear I am not saying that blocking sex and masturbation solves the problem.

I'm saying that facing your sexual frustration head on is what enables you to master your sex drive.

Opportunities for "relief" may seem kind, but it's temporary and digs you deeper into the problem.

youdontknowme

MissBlossom If a man brings you flowers, he wants you to go to bed. If a woman goes to bed, she wants you to bring her flowers.

I have once read an aphorism somewhere that went something like:

A nymphomaniac is a woman with the sex drive of a man.

Either way, that is just another argument why intercourse prevention does not necessarily require masturbation prevention to be effective. The belt would merely provide peace of mind that she is not exposed to the risks that come with careless sex, while being the minimum imposition on her life that achieves that goal. Obviously it is just a band-aid for the symptoms, not a solution for the underlying issues, which would have to be resolved independently of the belt via counselling or similar methods.

Jonas

Ines in fact she has clear one thing: she does not want the belt.

I didn't understand this from the reports. Perhaps @Susan can clarify. I thought the "no way she could do this" was her reaction to seeing a belt, but that no final decision had been made. I thought her other actions supported the fact that she's still considering it.

If she really has rejected the idea, then that's the end of it.

Jonas

MissBlossom I think Jane doesn't understand what she wants or how to get it

This is a really interesting idea and perspective. I think whether you're right depends on the lady's character and problem. Eg. Some people benefit from sympathy and analysis, others with behaviour challenge.

but she knows she wants it from boys and boys want sex.

I'm not sure about this as she's engaged in solo-sex too. This suggests that servicing sexual desire is at least a component of the issue. I'm also not sure about the gender division. If this forum demonstrates anything it's that many women are subject to the exact same sexual drive as men.
Women don't all want flowers, some are dead set on deflowering themselves. (No judgement intended.)

I feel like we what she needs is a mentor, not a belt.

This is what she's getting surely? This what @Jenna represented and @Susan was role-modelling as her peer. The belt is simply the expression of this mentoring... it's sending a clear message as to a way forward.

youdontknowme

Jonas I'm not sure about this as she's engaged in solo-sex too. This suggests that servicing sexual desire is at least a component of the issue.

I feel like you are starting to rival John Harvey Kellogg when it comes to anti-masturbation activism. Do you have a brother who owns a cereal company, perchance?

MissBlossom

Jonas This is what she's getting surely? This what @Jenna represented and @Susan was role-modelling as her peer. The belt is simply the expression of this mentoring... it's sending a clear message as to a way forward.

I'm talking about mentorship in how to flirt, get a boyfriend, and be in a real relationship. How to actually get what she wants in life rather than flailing about aimlessly and messing everything up.

Jonas

youdontknowme anti-masturbation activism...

Once you break the masturbation habit, it's hard not to be more active and engaged in life!! 🤣

Joh

Jonas Opportunities for "relief" may seem kind, but it's temporary and digs you deeper into the problem.

Sorry, this is Not a fact. It May happend depended on the Person and it will to live with a compromise.

Jenna

Wow, I had no idea there would be such input on this topic. Many good and thoughtful ideas here. We are all in agreement that any type of force is unwise. I have not spoken with Monica and will let her reach out first. If I do talk to her I will ask her to reach consensus with Jane before any belt is used. I am afraid that any types of more coercive tactics will likely backfire and inflame an already difficult situation.

Susan is back in school so I have not heard if Jane reached out to her.

Jonas

MissBlossom I'm talking about mentorship in how to flirt, get a boyfriend, and be in a real relationship. How to actually get what she wants in life rather than flailing about aimlessly and messing everything up.

I think mentoring in chastity, self-discipline and avoiding risky sex is more urgent and to the point.

Joh

MissBlossom I agree with you. If she want to change a mentor on her side will help her to learn the value of a relationship based on Love.

MissBlossom

Jonas I think mentoring in chastity, self-discipline and avoiding risky sex is more urgent and to the point.

I think you see "too much sex" and think about what that would mean if YOU did it -- excessive and uncontrolled sex drive.

I see "too much sex" and I think about what it would mean if I did it -- not enough love.

Jonas

MissBlossom I think you see "too much sex" and think about what that would mean if YOU did it -- excessive and uncontrolled sex drive.

I see "too much sex" and I think about what it would mean if I did it -- not enough love.

Whatever her fundamental feelings and motivations this person lacks restraint.

Jonas

Joh Sorry, this is Not a fact. It May happend depended on the Person and it will to live with a compromise.

Wasn't trying to prove my position. Was trying to explain my view that facing sexual frustration is required if you are to master your sex drive. Ofc people who don't have this problem, don't need this solution.

youdontknowme

Heck, if Jane genuinely wants to change, and her sexual outbursts are a spur-of-the-moment thing, even a belt to which she owns a key could help. She can put it on and leave the key at home if she goes out and fears what it might develop into. Probably not enough to convince Monica to spend a good chunk of money on a belt, but easyier to convince Jane to accept.

Kaja

Jonas You are slave of yourweakness. Because you have to substitute your mind and self force by metal underwear...

Jonas

Kaja Jonas You are slave of yourweakness. Because you have to substitute your mind and self force by metal underwear...

No. I'm a slave to my sex drive when I give in to it not when I use a tool to successfully control it.

Kaja

MissBlossom 💗

Sasha

youdontknowme it might be suitable to bring up a summary of @Sasha's experiences - how sexual carelessness had almost messed up hervlife in a big way, and she has since come to value the opportunity chastity has given her.

I wouldn’t mind at all if @Susan used me as an example of what a real monster is, where Jane’s headed and how it almost destroyed my life.
I’ve never really opened up about this before I joined, but maybe the dead Sasha can finally do some good in this world.
My chastity belt was my reset button, which is almost nonexistent in this world

youdontknowme

Sasha as an example of what a real monster is, where Jane’s headed and how it almost destroyed my life.

Might advise not to start with that. Pretty sure the shock would not help convince her. That you have come to consider "the old you" a monster that is luckily gone from this world is best left for after it has already been explained how good you feel about your new life.

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