Advice for potential new Keyholders

Sasha

youdontknowme How exactly did that scandal force her? Was Jane being harrassed and the authority figures at that school did nothing to stop it?

It’s probably for the better she did. Once you have the reputation you either become a pariah, and live with the abuse, possibly exploitation.
Or you go down the road I did, get tough and surround yourself with other girls who will fight for and with you.
Obviously the latter eventually leads to run ins with the law, exposure to other delinquents, dangerous behavior, etc.
so possibly an overreaction but most likely for the better

Angelina

youdontknowme Monica has unilaterally altered a deal whose consent was already questionable

this consensus never really existed and that is exactly what is causing the problems now

Jenna one with Jane once again becoming sexually active.

Susan but now Jane likes someone and wants to have sex with him and she has.

Thanks for the update, but I think an important point hasn't been addressed yet.
In my opinion, Jane's problems are not that she had sex, but the way she was sexually active, i.e. that it got completely out of control and she behaved (sorry for the word) like a slut.
I wonder if the situation is different now? She met a young man and likes him and also had sex with him, that sounds like a healthy relationship to me, or at least a developing relationship.
I would recommend an all or nothing strategy at this point. Jane should be given the chance to build a normal relationship (including sex) and if it gets out of control again, she has to agree to wear the belt. You can also build up the pressure so that she would have to wear the belt a lot more if she failes, that would help her discipline herself.
Just my thoughts

youdontknowme

Angelina I would recommend an all or nothing strategy at this point. Jane should be given the chance to build a normal relationship (including sex) and if it gets out of control again, she has to agree to wear the belt. You can also build up the pressure so that she would have to wear the belt a lot more if she failes, that would help her discipline herself.

Now I am imagining a situation where she is given the choice to either being able to unlock herself when she is home alone, or gaining that freedom only when she is with him to ensure a monogamous relationship (essentially making him a secondary keyholder). Could set her on the right track, but I doubt Monica or Jane would be thrilled about that idea.

Angelina

youdontknowme Now I am imagining a situation where she is given the choice to either being able to unlock herself when she is home alone, or gaining that freedom only when she is with him to ensure a monogamous relationship (essentially making him a secondary keyholder). Could set her on the right track, but I doubt Monica or Jane would be thrilled about that idea.

that would be a possibility, even if i hadn't thought of it. the exact design should be considered by Monica and Jane, but i think Jane should get a chance, but also realise that she has to use it

Renita

Susan nd wants to have sex with him and she has.

Then why did she agree to the belt initially?

Sasha

Renita Then why did she agree to the belt initially?

Most likely because she thought she had a plan how she could wear this thing, make mom think she’s being good and then sneak off to do whatever.
Probably also thought, how hard can wearing it be? Thinking would be easy to live with.
The fact she apparently agreed to this and is now fighting over it really makes me think that’s what was going through her mind at the time. Now she’s realizing none of her plans would work and it’s actually rather difficult wearing it.

I also suspect that we don’t know the full story regarding her mother. Seems doubtful there was any training time and she was required to dive in head first. Plus she also bought the thigh bands, which it seems doubtful she’d buy them just to have or to scare her.

Laura

Sasha Most likely because she thought she had a plan how she could wear this thing, make mom think she’s being good and then sneak off to do whatever.

I had a similar plan too 😂

Renita

Sasha Now she’s realizing none of her plans would work and it’s actually rather difficult wearing it.

Then she has a choice to obey or get out of the deal.

Sasha I also suspect that we don’t know the full story regarding her mother.

Right. We don't know the details of the deal

Kaja

curious No it is not. It is stupid and abusive.

curious

Kaja
I am allowed to offer you that deal, no matter how stupid or abusive you might find it. It is your free choice to accept it or reject it.
But you certainly have no right to demand access to the car if you reject the deal, just because you find that what was offered as a deal was not to your liking.

Jenna

Kaja She initially accepted the deal, and then she went back on her word. I spent much time convincing Monica that she needed Jane's consent to agree to wear the belt. Jane did for a while and then apparently changed her mind. It is certainly not stupid or abusive.

WriterAlexis

Jenna

using sex as a weapon

Wartime sexual violence has a long, grim history, but I doubt this rises to "weaponization."

Sasha

WriterAlexis Fair to say that female spies have certainly weaponized sex throughout history.
In this context though, I think I’d agree, but she’s sure trying it seems

Jenna

WriterAlexis That was probably the wrong word choice, but it is clear Jane is engaging in this behavior to, among other things, aggravate her mother.

Kaja

Jenna She can change her mind anytime. This is her right and nobody can not take it away. There is nothing wrong on it.

Christine

If Jane still in Monica's home, Monica has the right to make the rules. If Jane doesn't like it, she can always move out. Like to her boyfriend.

Milord

Christine
Totally right, but I hope Monica has other sons or daughters, because if she really put her daughter in a condition where she has to leave home, she's probably losing her.

Angelina

Christine If Jane doesn't like it, she can always move out.

sounds a bit strange. weren't you in the belt for exactly that reason? because you couldn't financially afford to move out? I think Jane has a similar problem

Renita Right. We don't know the details of the deal

maybe @Jenna and @Susan know more?

Sasha

Renita I’d also advise her to do so.
The fact she apparently hasn’t makes me think there’s a lot more to it than we know.
Probably some pretty harsh consequences she agreed to under an assumption she’d be able to cheat the agreement without any problems

Jenna

I did a "check in" with Monica over the weekend. Things have been a bit strained between her and Jane over the last few weeks. Monica had been withholding the use of Jane's car, and was not giving her any money. She was not happy that Jane was continuing to have sex, apparently with some boy from her old school.

Monica made it clear that kicking Jane out of the house was out of the question. The two of them did sit down over this past weekend and tried to work out a new deal. Jane had to wear the belt on nights when she left the house, and on weekends, and in return she could have her car back and be given money by her mother.

This sounds much like the old deal. I told her to call me anytime.

Sara

Jenna Isn't this just going to lead to the same outcome? Wouldn't it be better to set expectations that it should always be on unless there is a good reason for it not to be?

I also think that it is totally fine to just move on and consider it an idea that didn't work; After all this is about Jane and as long as she recognizes what happened, she is probably in the best position to figure out a plan to make sure she doesn't repeat the same mistakes.

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