youdontknowme
youdontknowme "Poor lazy person" seems like a rather judgmental choice of words there. And I think the issue is not so much the quid-pro-quo involved, but more whether the "bribe" in question is something that patents would customarily provide with fewer strings attached, or that grown-up children even have a widely-recognized right to. Which would depend a lot on location of course, and applies more to shelter and education than to something like a car or monetary gifts.
I've seen more than once words applied that suggested that wearers should just forego the "unnecessary comforts", and one can also study without having your parents pay your way or your car.
(I wouldn't know. OTOH, I do remember a girl who I picked during my student days, which was a bit surprised about my car. All students had a car with motorized leather seats and walnut on their console, right? I mean perhaps not in the evil USA but in our good old socialized Europe, in the good old days when I was young and beautiful, that must have been in part of the basic student aid package, right?)
youdontknowme Now I am imagining what would make 23/7 physical restraint look benign.
Let's say, physical torments disappear. Or at least, disappear much easier.
Psychological abuses (even if not sexual), form who you are.
The classical list includes (but is not complete, I would have again probably thing for some time, age and Covid make be forgetful 😅 :
highly dominating parents (in one case I had at least one family, where the kids got literally the wrong "roles" for the inheritance assigned, my then girlfriend was basically doing anything but to take begging publicly on knees to be trained to take over the company, while the younger son wanted to be an engineer, but guess who was penciled in for a JD & MBA? Two very good consumers to psychologists as adults resulted, but then the family was relatively reach, their company had over 1000 employees.
parents who use kids as substitute partner (non-sexual). Non-funny. And very crazy family life if one parent decides that the partner is not mature enough to take important decisions, and starts to discuss serious family, business, investment decisions with a 14 years old kid.
add hyper helicoptering as opt-on. Clean anything behind the kid as much. Sounds cool, but if not done carefully can leave the kid totally unprepared for the real world living in an alternative reality. Especially if the protective bubble is ever lifted.
add total ignoring parents. Parenting by handing over a credit card, but they are good parents, they might look even once a year at the report card, and ask twice a year the servants if the kid is eating healthy. (Now to defend my parents here, my sisters where real assholes that took much more of their attention. Being the good kid who always had good grades and never needed the lawyer, in one word boring, had his advantages/disadvantages.)
talking bad about your kids, literally. I had literally parents who talked down their own kids. Basically destroyed their self-worth. (Mine might not have build up mine much, but at least they sold me always to the outside as a mix of Davinci and Jesus the Almighty, one tries to learn to deal with the embarrassment.) In front of the kids. How they are useless, will never be worth anything, achieve anything.
The problem is I could continue the list. Some of that stuff is obvious, some is not so obvious, especially is you are used to it, and you stand there how can you stand it, but for the persons involved, this is their life.
