Introductions

Tenn__Man

A few things I forgot to mention:
I've been lurking on this forum for a long time. I'm pretty misogynistic, but perhaps not as much as the males (and females) in @Sara2001 's family.
If I have daughters, they won't wear chastity belts. I think it's unfair to make decisions for one's kids as they don't get to choose who their parents are. In the west, y'all care more about legality. We care more about morality.

Raquel

Tenn__Man I'm pretty misogynistic

Tenn__Man I'm aware that I'm misogynistic

Misogynist means that someone hates women. Probably not the most suitable forum for you.

Angelina

Nina who hold the keys?

my father, but it is also in my profile 😉

hungarianguy Happy international women's day to every girls! 🌷

Thank You 🙂

Tenn__Man

welcome to the forum 🙂

Tenn__Man First and foremost, I might have to live with my parents, grandparents, as well as my in-laws if I get married. What would they think of such entrapments being locked onto my future wife? They are traditional, but my ideas might be a step too far. Secondly, how will my future kids deal with the fact that their mom is constantly restrained? Finally and perhaps most importantly, are such contraptions really ethical?

the first and third question you have to judge for yourself or rather judge your family. you come from a rather conservative house and everyone lives that out differently, i think as far as your second question is concerned @Sara2001 has experience, maybe she can say something about it. but i think to think about it before you really have a woman is wrong, because only when you have a woman you can judge if she would agree with it and how far you can go.

Tenn__Man I'm pretty misogynistic,

um, i hope you just used the wrong english word, that would mean you hate women

Jen

Tenn__Man omg thigh bands again. Actually ya know what I'm gonna find out 🤪

Tenn__Man

Jen Looking forward to hearing about your experience.

Tenn__Man

Thank you all for welcoming me to the forum! Regarding Raquel and @Angelina 's comments on the use of "misogynistic," I think one cannot merely look at the dictionary definition of the word. When you talk to scholars of certain social sciences in the American academia about things like abortion bans for example, they might call such policies "misogynistic." Through the lenses of an evangelical Christian republican in Biloxi, however, they might call such policies "humanitarian." All I'm trying to say is that nowadays words like "misogyny" have much broader and looser definitions, and views that are somewhat traditional might be spinned into being the most misogynistic thing ever. It's hard to think of a word that represents a "different but equal" view of men and women. Perhaps "complementarianism" will work, but that word has a Judeo-Christian undertone to it, and I'm not that religious.

Disclaimer: The previous example does not represent my politics.

Tenn__Man

Angelina I think this is a very difficult topic to broach for a Confucian family. You can look at what @sun said about his situation. His wife is literally wearing the friggin belt but they simply can't talk about it. It's difficult to talk about this with your spouse, let alone your parents or in-laws.

Laura

Tenn__Man Even then, there are occasions where my mom or my grandmas would sit or stand with their legs apart. For me, such behavior is a huge turn-off. Thus, I reckon that chastity belt together with thigh bands can ensure consistent feminine behavior.

Also a thighbands wearer walks more feminine way, according to @Ines

Sara2001

Tenn__Man I think my father and my boyfriend are by no means mysogyny. My father has very traditional values about roles in the family and sex before marriage but not because of him being raised very religious or traditional, but because he and my mother experienced how much better a relationship like that is (for them).

For Daniel it's not that much of a difference. He would never force me in such a kind of relationship and my long term happiness is his top priority. We have decided to live this lifestyle because we feel it gives us harmony, peace and happiness, not because we think that any other lifestyle is wrong. What works for us not necessarily works for anyone else. It just feels right for us even or because it's very strict.

Raquel

Tenn__Man I think one cannot merely look at the dictionary definition of the word

It is the meaning "mysos", hate in ancient Greek.

Tenn__Man All I'm trying to say is that nowadays words like "misogyny" have much broader and looser definitions

That some people define a policy as misogynistic is precisely because they think it stems from hatred of women.

Tenn__Man different but equal

I am reading to my cousine, she uses exactly same expression, and she is far of being misogynist. That changes your presentation a lot and I also welcome you.

Angelina

Tenn__Man

whether you are misogynistic is another question, i am not a radical feminist, rather the opposite. i probably wouldn't even notice it, but a man who claims that about himself doesn't really seem sympathetic.

Tenn__Man I think this is a very difficult topic to broach for a Confucian family

i am from the west and therefore do not know this form of family, here we speak of conservative for traditional families and this can be lived out in different ways.

Jen

Tenn__Man very effective! No way I could west them daily but fun for a bit.

Tenn__Man

Jen Thank you for your experience! While wearing thigh bands, what's your max step size toe to toe? And how tall are you? I've been trying to determine whether there's a humane/reasonable degree of restriction that's sustainable. @Maija 's situation is pretty extreme but I guess she's more of an outlier.

Sara2001

Tenn__Man Jen Thank you for your experience! While wearing thigh bands, what's your max step size toe to toe? And how tall are you? I've been trying to determine whether there's a humane/reasonable degree of restriction that's sustainable. @Maija 's situation is pretty extreme but I guess she's more of an outlier

When I wear the tightbands with the chain, it's just enough to be able to use stairs without complications. With just the padlock taking stairs is way more difficult.

Jen

Tenn__Man Thank you for your experience! While wearing thigh bands, what's your max step size toe to toe? And how tall are you? I've been trying to determine whether there's a humane/reasonable degree of restriction that's sustainable.

Tenn__Man replying here - and more comments above. Wasn't real bands. Step size was smaller but not really a problem - like after an hour I was starting to get used to it. Trying to take bigger steps felt bad for my knees, but letting the bands pull tight each step was ok. I got surprised stepping back when opening the fridge - actually any kind of turning or twisting was awkward - like walking around things had to be like following a path around them not just moving naturally.

Going up steps was more pressure on knees and ankles. You can't get your balance right - like your weight is not properly above the leg you're stepping up with.

I'm completely convinced it would stuff up my joints or muscles if worn lots - like overnight could be ok - didn't feel bad on back or side. But not for daytime.

Jen

Raquel I am reading to my cousine

Say hi 👋 hope her sports are going well

Raquel

Jen
Yes Everything is going well for her, she is a lioness.
I also know that she sniffs around here from time to time.

Joh

Angelina
I have the feeling that different cultures clash here and don't understand each other at first. The choice of words alone makes it difficult.
That is not an assessment. Just an observation

Angelina

Joh

that's right, for example, i don't know what a "confucian family" really means.

James

Angelina that's right, for example, i don't know what a "confucian family" really means.

Filial Piety, at it's most basic.

Joh

James Filial Piety, at it's most basic.

Who's that?
Should I know him?

Angelina

James

like the boys from the catholic children's choir ? 😂

Tenn__Man

James That's one of the pillars of Confucian family values. I think overall members of Confucian families are closer to each other.

James

Joh

Rofl.

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