I have been unable to find a similar post, so I open mine. What are the common errors made by a keyholder? How to be avoided? Something you would ask your keyholder?
Open to everyone of course
Keyholders errors
Errors or mistakes?
- Edited
Your question honours you, but I don't think you'll stumble over any perilous new categories you have not yet experienced as a husband, lover and dominant part in a bdsm relationship. I'm sure that even without our advice, you will keep close and loving contact with your partner while you have her locked up, and in the time afterwards.
Damien thank you for your kind words, but for me this is an uncharted waters, and I’m pretty sure that there are some details I’m missing. While keyholding is a power exchange relationship, it’s a new one, at least for me, and I fear that my “classic” (Master - slave) approach can be even detrimental. Better be ready.
- Edited
Trying to make your wife your slave might indeed not be a guaranteed success ;-) She has agreed to limit her sexuality by wearing a belt and handing over the keys. She has a motivation for that, and you'll build on that. No master, no slave to be seen from my point of view.
Most things are obvious like making sure she’s not developing sores and such, I’d imagine that’s a common theme in rope bondage as well.
Only thing that really comes to mind is knowing the fine line between being strict with the keys and causing emotional distress.
Sasha thank you. This is the trickiest part for me. As you have guessed I'm very much into consent. As soon as I perceive that there is no consent I stop. I can understand that wanting to wear a chastity belt can easily fall in the CNC (consent not consent) environment. And this is the uncharted waters I was talking about.
Milord I reckon the key is to recognize when "I want out" means "the belt is doing its job" and when it means "I no longer consent to wearing". In the second case, the belt has to come off as quickly as possible. In the former, your job as a keyholder is to encourage her to keep wearing it.
youdontknowme And that is a pretty fine line. I’d imagine having been with her as a dominant partner for so long though will make seeing it much easier
Yes, but my kind of relationship is very fragile. It is based on a trust you can't even imagine. Most people never experience giving up everything, the complete surrender needed to be what we are. And when you reach it... You are very careful to keep it, because the fall can be devastating. This is why Im so prudent.
It sounds both sill and obvious but don't lose the key. Long ago, after updating the standard locks on a belt to a high security Medico lock, my keyholder misplaced the key. It took some sort of frantic searching for about four hours to find. There was a backup key but it was not easily accessible. There was no immediate need to remove the belt so it was not an issue. It bothered the keyholder a lot more than it bothered me. The belt could have been removed mechanically, if necessary. The places she had been were limited between the time they had the key and the time they discovered it was missing. It was just a matter of careful and exhaustive search. But the keyholder felt they had damaged my trust despite my assurances otherwise.
Don't lose the key!
Milord What are the common errors made by a keyholder?
let's start with the most obvious. not asking if the wearer even wants a belt and a key holder
then of course everything that concerns the topic of safety and hygiene. A key holder must be aware that he/she is fully responsible for everything that the person in the belt can no longer do independently