From misterpoll

@Vanessa About marriage and parent's approval,what do you think can be a reason for not approving it?Only if there is a danger(like someone using drugs,being violent,etc...)or too based on their social class(so no rich people with poor ones,or such)?Do you think parents may have some impact on deciding who their sons/daughters will marry(a bit like arranged marriage)or just approve or disapprove their choice?

@Laura Social class is mostly the case for parents' approval. Not only money, but occupation, education, etc. The French word "mesalliance" (for some reason misterpoll doesn't allow accents, but you know what I mean) describes it the best. Both arranged marriage or just approval should work. Maybe I'm wrong, but it seems your parents are not happy with your non-straight relationship.
Safety is another side. I doubt your or Catherine's parents would approve marriage to one of those refugees. Looking further I think more young girls in Europe should wear chastity belts because of this.

@Vanessa Yes,I think "mesalliance" can be the right word,even if not used often in french,nowadays.My parents never took much care about social class or money,but they won't allow me to date someone who look as a "bad boy" or neglected,nor if they think it can be dangerous(someone using/dealing drugs,someone who seems violent...).Poor education may lead to not getting the approval,too.Occupation...Hum,not sure which ones would be disapproved.
Arranged marriage(even if not exactly the same than forced marriage,but not accepting it can be difficult)would be awful for me,having to marry(and I guess divorce is not accepted in such cases)someone I don't love would be very hard,and I'm not sure I would accept it,even if it means not seeing my family anymore.However,I think it can be influenced by education...My family never suggested it,but,maybe,if it is more traditionnal in the family(even more if parents marriage was an arranged one),it can be accepted more easily.Even if not common at all nowadays;I don't think many families still do it,and even less people accept to obey it.
Safety is important for my parents too,as I said,they won't approve somone who can beat me or make me using drugs/be drunk.etc...They take care of it a lot.Not sure if they allow or not dating a refugee,it'll depend on each case.If he is not neglected,educated,want to continue studying or working,not using drugs/alcohol,is caring for me,they may accept it.

@Laura It seems you understand the word "mesalliance" right. Although it's not used widely, but well educated people know what it means, unless their brains are poisoned by this "tolerance", etc. I don't know you parents' positions about it (why know just ask using this word?), but you haven't talked to them about marriage seriously yet. Same about your relationship with Emile. As long as you wear a belt, you can date whoever you wish, but marriage is different.
I'm not talking about a refugee who is "not neglected,educated,want to continue studying or working,not using drugs/alcohol", but what you have in reality and that's far away from your description. Probably there are few exception, but I would prefer to stay away from them. There are occupations, you also should start away from, but I don't want to list it out here, because that's off-topic.

@Vanessa Sure,my parents took care to know who I date,and I know more or less what they won't accept,so I know it is totally useless to try dating someone who use drugs,or,is impolite,or look bad,even if he's nice with me(some example,there is a lot of other examples),so I generally don't start to date them,knowing they won't be accepted and my parents will make me break-up with them.So,in a way,even if it is way more free than an arranged marriage,they can limit the choice of people I could start a relationship with and marry.

    Laura changed the title to Parental approval and arranged marriage .

    Since I wear the belt I am at least allowed to go out without an adult accompanying me all the time. I am allowed to go on dates, but I have to introduce him to my parents before the first date which makes it pretty complicated to just say yes to someone who asks me out. They said if I bring someone I should get boys who are around my age and they should know how to dress and to behave.

      Dilly
      Wow, this is even stricter than in my home. As long as I take care of my curfew, I can meet whoever I want in my free time. My parents said that they believe in my capabilities of deciding who is a good influence for me and who is not. I got the hidden message under this message that said: "and it would be better for you to only brig someone home who is appropriate for you".

      What are the other criterias your parents have when it comes to a boyfriend? Do they want to talk with him before the date or things like that?

          Sara2001
          I think I understand. Yes, they want to talk to him first, and it isn't that unusual that parents want that. I think it is a bit a matter of trust, and I wish they'd be able to trust me more.

          Hm, they wouldn't accept one who isn't a christian and even though it is sad, they wouldn't accept someone who isnt caucasian.

              Dilly
              I think in my family they look mostly on interlectual background. It would be very important for them that he has good manners, is smart and has a good education. As long as something fit's this criteria, they wouldn't have a problem with any ethical or religious background. Maybe except very strict Muslims.

                I think there are two different topics here. Approval for dating and approval for marriage.
                While date is usually up to a girl as long as she wears a belt, marriage is more serious step.

                12 days later

                My parents are a bit similar about it,if I want to date someone,they should meet him/her and have a talk together.They’re pretty open minded about it,the ethnicity and religion is not a criteria,and I.m allowed to date men and women.But they take extra care that he/she respect me,treat me well,not do any dangerous activity(using drugs,being alcoholic,spending time in bad company...);being smart and well educated is important too.Of course,they should wear normal clothing(no ripped jeans or similar),not using vulgar language,etc...

                I guess it is similar to Sara2001’s parents requirements.

                P.S.:In my case,if my parents approve a boyfriend/girlfriend,it means he/she will probably be approved to marry me later,if he/she propose me,too.

                7 months later

                I'm pretty sure a parental approval is mandatory.

                  Laura how much money would your family want the person to make? And for those who have dateing restrictions has anyone ever had a crush on you so hard that they tryed to change themselves for you to meet your parents approval?

                      Natescage I think everyone has seen everything before therefore no. I don't think anyone will try to become a foot taller or a billionaire to impress someone else. At least that would be very sad way to live your life.

                          Laura lol Laura.. mabey someone will get there one day lol. The pool of People in the USA with that kind of money is shrinking however, if I recall correctly what I've read. You might have to wait a while. Would you mom negatiate about this if you couldn't find a husband?

                              Natescage The pool of People in the USA with that kind of money is shrinking however, if I recall correctly what I've read

                              Not in NYC, that's not big money really

                                  Laura true NYC is mad expensive although me and some classmates have considered moving there after school. Actually Laura I have a classmate from NYC who is rich and his friend is even richer (family has there own jet aircraft). Mabey I can out him in touch with you? Lol.