Is sex a "want" or a "need"?
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Angelina well, i've heard that the desire for cigarettes diminishes at some point,
Absolutely yes it does. And the cravings no longer govern your behaviour.
but i don't know if this also applies to sexual pleasure.
I think Ivana on MisterPoll is correct:
"Also, for me, there were frustrating moments, where I desperately tried to defeat my own cb. It always kept firm, yet, and I am glad about that. For my girls, too, I have indications that they tried things, which is just natural. In case our cbs would perfectly prevent any attempt to access from the very beginning, we all would give in any attempts after short time and as a consequence, it would become less frustrating for us. "
Certainly when quitting smoking it was the stopping and starting that was the torture. Once you've absolutely stopped, or cigarettes are out of reach, you accept the situation.
Angelina hmm... i wonder how an orgasm feels for someone who has never masturbated before having sex for the first time. must be a very exciting but maybe also scary feeling.
Would also help to make a very strong bond with your partner I think.
Jonas
Jonas, I only share my opinion that is not more or less valid than other.
In my opinion, the relationship with keyholder have to be based in trust, but it is true that it involves a bit of hierarchy, and, a boy does not fit as wearer here.
Of course, if a boy wish it I am not anyone to deny it.
Jonas Ines, you write elsewhere that there are girls for whom chastity doesn't suit (for reasons of temperament etc).
I believe firmly in this. And I have an example in home. However, probably it can change with time, I believe.
Thank you for answering my question @Ines. I understand that you're stating your opinion.
Ines is true that it involves a bit of hierarchy, and, a boy does not fit as wearer here.
I can understand this. Both the traditional male role as head of a household and a marriage of equals is changed where one party holds such power over another. However, what if the key were in a safe, safe-deposit, or with another trusted party such as a parent?
The male is disempowered, not within his marriage or relationship, but by his own action. Chastity becomes his personal choice and the belt becomes a part of who he chooses to be and how he chooses to act (or not act).
Could this work, in your opinion?
Jonas Everyone can choose to "save" themselves for a future partner and it's an amazing gift at any time.
well, i would only do it if i knew there was a future partner. if i wore the belt because my father told me at the time: "you wear the belt to be a gift for your dream woman" i might think differently.
Jonas Could this work, in your opinion?
Of course it can works, for someone, but, of course, a man wearing chastity belt is out of sight for me.
I can not share any reason to see a man wearing it.
Jonas or with another trusted party such as a parent?
I do not like see a man without capability of decision, precisely, for me is one of the most important thinks in you.
Want for me, definitely. Make this into a poll, that would make things interesting.
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Ines I do not like see a man without capability of decision, precisely, for me is one of the most important thinks in you.
Ah, I understand. Thank you for being so patient and clear with me.
As for me, I see wearing a belt (or putting all kinds of other temptations out of reach) as a way of making the strongest possible decisions, decisions that even I myself would not be capable of undoing.
I guess it's an example of the contradiction inherent in power, can a powerful man create something that they themselves cannot destroy? But, such discussions are more than likely far off-topic!
Jonas It's all quite confusing really because even things that are healthy needs like food can change into unhealthy cravings.
As I often say,it should not be excessive and not impact badly other parts of our lives.
Jonas I think masturbation is pure self-gratification and know that it can take over your life
Not if we do it,but not "pursuit the pleasure" of masturbation!
Jonas I think a lot of the arguments between the generations about chastity stem from the fact that young adults want sexual freedom whereas their elders (often from personal experience) think that people need limits.
But personal experience is more effective than advices from other people.
I agree,knowing our own body is important to get;and give,pleasure with a partner(even more effective for same-sex relationship).
I did both,and always preferred to have sex with a partner than masturbating.Way better.
Jonas However, my personal experience has led me to conclude that masturbation was bad for me.
I agree,it is mainly personal opinion.
Angelina well, i've heard that the desire for cigarettes diminishes at some point, but i don't know if this also applies to sexual pleasure.
I doubt so...
Angelina hmm... i wonder how an orgasm feels for someone who has never masturbated before having sex for the first time. must be a very exciting but maybe also scary feeling.
On the other hand,if the partner is a bit more skilled,he/she should be able to relieve the scary feeling!
Jonas This is why I understand when people on here return to chastity following divorce.
Only one of us,I think,and she's not very happy about it!
Ines However, probably it can change with time, I believe.
Do you think your sister would finally accept to wear one?
Angelina if i wore the belt because my father told me at the time: "you wear the belt to be a gift for your dream woman" i might think differently.
You would have accepted it more willingly?
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It is a personal decision, but remember, looking back, I'd say I made the wrong decision at the time.
If we exclude all non-consensual use, forget about the actual chastity belts, and just look at the honest, kindly communication between the generations here, it's more often than not very simple: The old folk are telling the young folk to wait for marriage and to watch out for masturbation. That's the experience they want to pass on. The locks and keys and bribery and arguments and resentment all stem from just how strongly the older folk want to pass on their message.
And, if I could go back in time, I'd be telling myself the same thing.
Vanessa On the other hand,if the partner is a bit more skilled,he/she should be able to relieve the scary feeling!
well, unless your partner hasn't had the experience either, then it can get very complicated.
Vanessa You would have accepted it more willingly?
i don't know, rather not, unless camryn would have liked it
Jonas It is a personal decision, but remember, looking back, I'd say I made the wrong decision at the time.
but that is perfectly normal. every human being makes more mistakes when he/she is young than later, because we are always learning in life.
Ines A chastity belt is never superfluous for a girl!
unless the girl can also protect herself from the "dangers" without a belt
Ines But she does not want wear a belt at all, at least for the moment, and is a theme that we are not treating usually in home.
It is her decision and only her decision.
ok, i just wanted to know the current status and yes i think it is very good that she can make this decision freely and that there is no "peer pressure" within the family
Jonas It is a personal decision, but remember, looking back, I'd say I made the wrong decision at the time.
I strongly doubt I would think I was "lucky" to had to wear a chastity belt...
Jonas That's the experience they want to pass on.
They should only give it as an advice.
Jonas And, if I could go back in time, I'd be telling myself the same thing.
But do you think you could convince yourself to wear one willingly?
Angelina well, unless your partner hasn't had the experience either, then it can get very complicated.
Sure!
Angelina i don't know, rather not, unless camryn would have liked it
Which is unlikely,right?
Ines But if your question is if I have seen some changes in last times, not about the belt, but it is true that her temperament is much better now.
Yes,that was my question.
It can be considered as a more important improvement than accepting more the idea of a chastity belt,but with no change on her temperament,I think.
Angelina firstly she would then probably accept the belt more or secondly it could also make the belt superfluous.
I don't think it is so linked with the chastity belt...
Ines It is her decision and only her decision.
Right way to think and act.