Vanessa how can you be engaged,but not sure to get married?

We both have been married and know the unpleased side. We know the advantage and disadvantage and we know how much a wedding and a divorce costs. We love to be together but also see the value to be independent. We will not decide lightly but we are on the way. 😁
I learned a lot from @Sara2001 relation and adapted the key point. It is necessary to work on the relation and talk a lot about everything. Especially about small things otherwise it will pill up to a big hill bevore you be aware of it. Our relation is improving. 😄

      Joh What do you have in mid with 'soon'?

      that you will marry soon, i wish that for everyone, it was just a turn of phrase 😉

      Vanessa If free,how long would you have waited?

      you mean how long would i have waited if i was free? hard to say, i certainly wouldn't have had sex after the first date but i'm sure it would have happened already

      Vanessa If engaged,the wedding follow;how can you be engaged,but not sure to get married?

      i don't understand that either, i always thought an engagement is only the "harbinger" to a wedding.

      Max9

      wrong topic ????

                Angelina i don't understand that either, i always thought an engagement is only the "harbinger" to a wedding.

                I know a couple they are now engaged over 15 years. Today nothing is certain it is going in the way it is expected.

                    Vanessa It would depend on how much time I need to get a long term job.

                    What is the problem with finding a job for yourself?
                    Did you apply in other cities or country?
                    I thought peapole with IT skills are being sought.

                        Joh

                        hmm, i don't like it so much, but everyone has to decide for themselves

                        Max9

                        😉

                            Joh

                            Good you're on the way,and that the discussions on the board have helped you!🙂

                            Are you going to have a relationship similar to the one of @Sara2001 and her boyfriend?

                            Angelina you mean how long would i have waited if i was free?

                            Yes,it was what I meant,and you've answered it!😉

                            Joh

                            It is still uncommon.

                            Joh

                            I can get jobs easily(except presently,the COVID-19 make it harder),but it is hard to get a long-term job...Short-term jobs are easier,sure.

                                      Vanessa Yes,it was what I meant,and you've answered it!😉

                                      well, i was wondering if you meant how long it would take after the wedding, the answer would probably be one night. 😂

                                      Vanessa I can get jobs easily(except presently,the COVID-19 make it harder),but it is hard to get a long-term job...Short-term jobs are easier,sure.

                                      any news (job interviews, etc.) ?

                                            Vanessa Are you going to have a relationship similar to the one of @Sara2001 and her boyfriend?

                                            The relationship of @Sara2001 and Daniel is men lead and our is equal right based. Nevertheless I give the direction. We'll talk about it until we have a common position. This can also take a long time. I am patient and persistent.

                                            Vanessa I can get jobs easily(except presently,the COVID-19 make it harder),but it is hard to get a long-term job...Short-term jobs are easier,sure.

                                            Did you search at other countries as well?

                                                  Joh We'll talk about it until we have a common position. This can also take a long time. I am patient and persistent.

                                                  well, it needs a part that is at least somewhat dominant. if i think about it, if my father and i were completely equal, we would never find a solution to problems because we are both stubborn. 🤣

                                                  Joh Did you search at other countries as well?

                                                  @Vanessa Come to Germany 😉

                                                        Angelina well, i was wondering if you meant how long it would take after the wedding, the answer would probably be one night. 😂

                                                        🤣

                                                        Angelina any news (job interviews, etc.) ?

                                                        Some meeting,but not successful.And,as we're confined at least 1 month now,it would be even harder.

                                                        Joh The relationship of @Sara2001 and Daniel is men lead and our is equal right based. Nevertheless I give the direction. We'll talk about it until we have a common position. This can also take a long time. I am patient and persistent.

                                                        Ok,so,it is not the sort of relationship you learned from @Sara2001 and her boyfriend,but the fact they talk together a lot?

                                                        Joh Did you search at other countries as well?

                                                        No.I don't plan to leave France.

                                                        Angelina @Vanessa Come to Germany 😉

                                                        🤣

                                                        Too close to the main producers of chastity devices in Europe!😉

                                                                    Vanessa Ok,so,it is not the sort of relationship you learned from @Sara2001 and her boyfriend,but the fact they talk together a lot?

                                                                    Yes, exactly.

                                                                    The men lead relation is has a certain charm. But it can only work if both have the right character.
                                                                    On the one hand, it is a very big gift from her to him which demands extremely much from her. On the other hand, he must be absolutely consistent otherwise the whole thing will not work and end in disaster. This can be a separation or a total suppression in which case she will be in such a dependence of emotional and material kind that she will not get out of it.
                                                                    It is like walking on a knife's edge. I don't see it for me that I can take on that responsibility.

                                                                    Vanessa No.I don't plan to leave France.

                                                                    And working for a foreigner company remotely?

                                                                    Angelina well, it needs a part that is at least somewhat dominant.

                                                                    Not necessary. You need only the understanding and commitment to find a solution both will be happy with it. To be stubborn will not help.

                                                                            Vanessa Some meeting,but not successful.And,as we're confined at least 1 month now,it would be even harder.

                                                                            I wish you good luck anyway 😃

                                                                            Vanessa Too close to the main producers of chastity devices in Europe!😉

                                                                            🤣 🤣 🤣

                                                                            Joh It is like walking on a knife's edge. I don't see it for me that I can take on that responsibility.

                                                                            i agree, that's why i couldn't do the submissive or dominant part. both require a lot of work to make it work and as you said the right character is improtant.

                                                                            Joh To be stubborn will not help.

                                                                            I know I notice it myself sometimes, but I was brought up to always insist on my rights. 😉

                                                                                      Angelina I know I notice it myself sometimes, but I was brought up to always insist on my rights.

                                                                                      Their is a difference between stubborn and stand up for your rights.

                                                                                          Joh

                                                                                          i know but sometimes the boundary is very vaguely defined and i am someone who often walks on the knife's edge on this subject.

                                                                                          • Joh replied to this.

                                                                                              Angelina i am someone who often walks on the knife's edge on this subject.

                                                                                              Yup.Don't cut yourself!

                                                                                                  Joh Yup.Don't cut yourself!

                                                                                                  as i said, i'm trying. that's just the problem when i'm more submissive towards my father, more equal towards my girlfriend and more dominant towards strangers. that can sometimes be difficult to maintain the "roles". 😃

                                                                                                  • Joh replied to this.

                                                                                                      Angelina that can sometimes be difficult to maintain the "roles".

                                                                                                      Maybe you should switch sometime but not when you are with strangers.

                                                                                                          Joh On the one hand, it is a very big gift from her to him which demands extremely much from her. On the other hand, he must be absolutely consistent otherwise the whole thing will not work

                                                                                                          I agree.

                                                                                                          Joh And working for a foreigner company remotely?

                                                                                                          I could consider it if the job was very interesting(I like to learn new things in my work),or a long term one.

                                                                                                          Angelina I wish you good luck anyway 😃

                                                                                                          Thank you!🙂

                                                                                                          Angelina i agree, that's why i couldn't do the submissive or dominant part. both require a lot of work to make it work and as you said the right character is improtant.

                                                                                                          You could learn it with Camryn,if you want to give it a try.