Don't worry, I'm realistic, and as much as i desire permanent chastity i know these things happen.
Trans and chastity
Daphne Good. If you want to discuss some of the things I implemented, I'd be happy to discuss them. Some things were implemented after some of the bad experiences I already mentioned.
I'd very much like that
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Daphne Here are some things I use, or have something similar in place. You can take these ideas and run with them...
Numbered security tags to secure the key to something you can get to; however, you can’t use unless you break the key away. (provide the numbers to your key-holder) I have a bottle with a key held in by these tags either the plastic bottle or tag must be destroyed to use the key.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07GZ5RTD4/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Bluetooth key safe. Your key-holder orders and sets this up. Then on a video call watches you place the keys inside. (you’d be added as a secondary user when you get the box)
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B071VGZ283/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Plastic K Safe. You control the time – some versions might let you add time before time is up– up to 10 days. Of course in an emergency you’d smash to base (replacements are available, but not free)
I like the tags, i can use those easily with my keys and my cage came with them too
2 years later
What is the appeal of chastity for you, transwomen?
I am in a T4T relationship and originally came to this forum looking for horror stories to show my girlfriend about the reality of chastity as opposed to the fantasy.
I asked her and her reasons for wanting to try it are this: she wants to be submissive to me, she has become somewhat desensitized to porn, and she thinks it might help alleviate genital dysphoria.
I have been dominant in our sex life so far, spanking her and experimenting with light bondage as play, never punishment. I feel a little guilty for that, like I'm setting back the cause of feminism and enforcing traditional gender roles. We both enjoy ourselves though, and this relationship has brought me more pleasure and happiness than I have ever had.
That's our sex life though, we are equals elsewhere and I feel that introducing a cage or belt for her may skew our relationship. When I was younger, especially around the time I first got Testosterone, I was a misogynist trying to separate myself from women by diminishing them. I have worked on that and am trying to be better, my girlfriend has helped immeasurably. Taking her key, even in a fetish context, might make our relationship unequal. Chastity would be there even when we're not playing. What if she wants out? I would probably release her on the spot, but that defeats the point of chastity and might not be what she really wants. Do I keep her locked? That would violate her consent in my opinion, and I'm not sure I want unchecked power over her outside of a situation where she can safeword at any time.
Wanting to be controlled, submissive and feminine is strange to me as I have fought to be seen as an adult, a professional and a male. On the other hand, I kind of get where she is coming from. We both had/have religious families (Mormon for me, Catholic for her) and while I have tried to break from the church and it's teachings, she gets some gender euphoria from filling the role her upbringing taught her belonged to a woman. Genital dysphoria is a bitch, believe me, I know.
Having a partner control your orgasms sounds hot and kinky, but reading after reading this forum and a few other- chastity- related ones, the reality of it seems very different from the porn version.
My first instinct is to rage against one person controlling the life of another. I look on with horror at the stories of involuntary beltings and people put in chastity by their parents. I know that many women (and some men) on this site do not need or want to be rescued, but I still have a desire to cut locks, break chains and scream "This is not normal! Fight! Leave! Run! Do whatever it takes to be free!"
Sorry for the long post, just me throwing my thoughts into the void that is the internet. I am curious about other trans folks take on chastity. This is more about fetish chastity than lifestyle chastity, but all answers are welcome if you are willing to share.
Matt Obviously I cannot speak for the trans parts of it, but one thing to keep in mind is that the consent of getting into the situation in the first place might be a huge deal. A lot of the "horror stories" you read about here come from a point where the wearer and keyholder were very much not starting out as equal partners - the keyholder holds a superior role (often as parent/guardian) in day-to-day life. And in such situations, it is really difficult to get freely given and enthusiastic consent, so a lot of those people live in situations where consent is dubious at best. You would be coming from a position of equality, where it would be much easier to establish terms and boundaries that everyone is on board with. Especially if locking up is her idea in the first place.
Beyond that, if you are already familiar with BDSM play and have a safeword, then the solution sounds simple. Unlock her if she uses the safeword, keep her locked if she says "I want out".
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Matt That would violate her consent in my opinion, and I'm not sure I want unchecked power over her outside of a situation where she can safeword at any time.
I'm not trans, but I can speak from a BDSM perspective.
If she uses her safeword, you let her out and talk. All power exchange stops instantly.
When you try to make some part of a BDSM relationship 24/7, something else that can be useful is the concept of "straight time." This can be scheduled or by request. The idea is that this is a special time outside of time when you talk as equals and say what you really want without any role playing. Maybe she really wants you to keep her locked up no matter how much she begs. Maybe she's having some real difficulties and would like a break. Maybe you feel uneasy about something you are doing to her and want some straight answers that you know aren't part of a role play. During straight time you two can communicate directly, and then back in the power dynamic you can make decisions with more knowledge about how she feels and what she needs. This also lets her tell you when things are genuinely overwhelming her so you can back off and avoid creating a situation where she needs to safeword. This doesn't mean you always do what she wants, but it does mean that you have a better understanding of what she wants and how close she is to her limits when you decide to push her.
Your girlfriend clearly trusts you to be a caring and responsible dom, and based on the questions you are asking I think you would be.
Angelina
Since both Matt and his girlfriend are trans, I assume it means trans for trans.
I think Matt has the biological sex of "female," was assigned the gender "girl" at birth, and now identifies as a man, while his girlfriend has the biological sex of "male," was assigned the gender of "boy" at birth, and now identifies as a woman.
Based on the comment about genital disphoria, I believe she is pre-op or non-op, meaning she hasn't had gender affirming surgery (formerly known as a "sex change," also often called "bottom surgery") and we are talking about locking up a trans woman's penis.
If I have everything right.
thank you, i admit it confuses me sometimes and i don't want to write something wrong about such a sensitive topic.