MaximeJourennes
Mmmm... No.
She have not to accept forced wearing.
Seeking help and advice on situation
Sin its like i said though i kind of have too many good things going for me right now to bring the law into this. my mother pays for the internet for pretty much me alone bc we have unlimited data for phone plans, the internet isnt really necessary for anyone but me. she just knows its basically my life and wants me to not be in constant agony all day with having nothing to do or whatever. and i also get an allowance which i pay my final fantasy 14 subscription with and my music app too. i feel that would all go away if i brogut the law into this and if the law decided i shouldnt live here then id end up in some place IDEK and that scares me. i dont have any close relatives in my state bc my parents are from texas
but i dont intend on just being forced into this or whatever she does seem willing to work stuff out with me which ill be calling her here shortly
vyktoryah neither have belts and both have 1 child, my 23 year old sister is named cari and she has a 4 year old boy named josh. and my 19 year old sister is libby and has a i think 2? year old girl and is pregnant with another
If I was your parent, I would start with the 23 y.o. and belt her instantly. I couldn't do it with the 19 y.o, because she is pregnant now, hence later on. I wouldn't belt you now if you promised to remain virgin.
work keeps disrupting our call so she had to go but i did get a bit of info now. i still dont know my situation for myself but i know a little more regarding my sisters. they no longer have locks on their doors starting tomorrow and they have to share locations with my parents on the iphone messenger. they also arent allowed to have anyone over and they need to start saving money to move out and they have to do almost all the chores except for the one i have and they are gonna be SUPPOSEDLY making dinner every night too. that last one IDK about lol but we'll see. they are apparently being given a certain amount of time to show that they are gona do those things or they are just gonna be kicked out. the belts were apparently my fathers idea and someone here has mentioned that belting a pregnant woman raises difficulties so i definitely am curious how they are going about that. as for me i still dont really know i tried to ask but when we got to that area she just had a lot to say and it didnt really get anywhere becasue after she finally was done explaining how she feels she hadto go back to work so we just are gonna talk more tonight. im gonna probably plan some more about what to say bc i TBH dont wana be belted too but she definitely seems willing to work something out i think i just dont know what it is. shes always kinda lenient with me when we finally talk stuff through so ill let everyone know asap
vyktoryah Yeah, more or less sums with thoughts, but nice to see she's open about it. Definitely the 'we're belting you and you've these tasks but have no idea how you'll do them', approach (bound to fail, probably).
Also, do they plan on kicking out the grandkids with their daughters?
I guess my question for you is what do you want to do? Because you're in a critical 2-3 year period where you play your cards right and you can get a top collage scholarship etc. But that takes work and it would be nice to have some actual parental support for that to keep you focused.
James idk if they do plan on that though i think thats more of a threat im not sure.. i really dont see them to be the type to actually put kids on the streeet and if they were they would have by now because one of my sisters is really unstable. but i honestly have plans on moving in with someone ive been super close with for the past like 3 years. and we were just gonna pay for ahouse together and split the costs with just a normal job or whatever. im not that smart really and i have bad adhd so school has always been a mess for me lol. so im really just waiting until im legally able to leave which i beleve is actually 16 but i also dont have my info atm. like i need my social security card because when we moved i think my parents left all that stuff at the old house on accident so now im trying to file for a new one but its been pretty hard with all the requirements and stuff. so i pretty much just gotta make it till then which shoul donly be like a year at most i think then im on my own with the like one person im really close with.
UPDATE
i had a talk with my mom since she got home and i feel like i should wait before saying too much because she said we would talk later tonight too but she needs time to relax abit from work. so what i got out of her now is just that shes gonna make sure its all fair and it wont be unjust. she said she understands my concerns and its gona make sense when we discuss it later... so i guess ill update when we talk but she did say she has something important to talk to me about so hopefully thats some good news or something and not bad. wish me luck once again!!
- Edited
Ines She have not to accept forced wearing.
It's easy to say that. On the theory I agree with you. No one has to accept forced wearing.
But now that we said it, what do you recommend her ? Call the police ? It's not that simple I think
vyktoryah i kind of have too many good things going for me right now to bring the law into this.
You don't have to bring the law into it, you just have to explain to your parents that what they're proposing is child abuse, and that if someone finds out they would be legally obliged to inform the authorities. They would be looking at a jail term and they would be placed on a sex offenders register. So don't think for a second that anything YOU do will affect your family or living conditions... they are putting your family life in jeopardy and it is up to them to make responsible, ethical parenting decisions.
- Edited
Sin sex offenders
Seeing how sex offenders treated in US jails / prisons (watched some prison documentaries), if they get imprisoned / jailed for child abuse / sexual assault or any kind of crimes that minor is a victim, their life in jail would put their life into jeopardy…
I also think putting such equipment on children is abuse, period.
UPDATE
so after a long talk we have come to some conclusions. theres really a lot i didnt wana have to bring up here because its just non relevant or was and its just really personal but for this to make sense i guess i need to explain properly. so heres aquick WARNING that this stuff im going to say is really serious and its a bad subject to really discuss in a lot of places.but ive made attempts at my life in the past and im depressed currently and i cut myself sometimes too. ive had many just major instances with my parents where we fight about this and then they wana send me to a hospital or something and overall ive just barely managed to get out of having to go to those places by saying the right things during these severe tense moments that my mom freaks out when she notices stuff and thinks i stopped. though even when i say the right things and dont get sent to a hospital my life still gets turned totally upside down. like the last time i had a bed time set, i wasnt allowed to leave without someone being withme, i couldnt take pills on my own, everyone hid the knives, and just abunch of other shit that made me just feel really bad i guess about myself idk i know they just wanted to help and were probably scared by what they saw but i just felt it wasnt the right way to handle it. but everyone i talk to about this says they were right and it infuriates me every time. anyway my dad though is super against porn and hes been doing researching online apparently and he says that porn increases your depression and my mom found a vibrator i own a few weeks ago apparently and has been talking with my dad about it and now they made me give them all my toys and they searched my phone and saw that i have stuff on there. sooo im ugh rn lol this all just sucks a lot but they dont want me to watch porn and "devalue my body and end up likemy sisters" i dont really see how me watching that is gonna do that to me though but anyway i still of course love them but my mom said she doesnt want me to touch myself anymore. she says that not masturbating can increases ur moods and you have more motivation to do things and get out of bed and youll wana work out and stuff. is any of that even true??? like idk what porn does to me thats so bad but she seems really upset like not as in mad but more so sad. i feel like shes disappointed in me and i wana prove her wrong and stuff but at the same time IDK whats wrong with watchin porn. its not even real porn its just hentai and like cat girls idk. sorry to rant im just frustrated atm but we didnt even talk about the belts so idk whats happening with that but i dont even wana talk to them at the moment so idc we'll probably talk more tomorrow so ill update then
Sin i feel like if someone saw that theyd most likely think its something im into as thats what i woulda thought prior to this happening but either way i really do wana still live here because i of course love my famiyl and i really only got a year left until i can move out. though i stilldont know whats happening i doubt the belt is gonna occur since they didnt mention it tonight
vyktoryah
First, welcome to the forum, you are free to speak your thoughts and seek for advice and help.
Second, personal habits actually releases stress, plus the best protection is zero activities outside your home.
Third, I would suggest to call a hotline if you are forced, coerced, or threatened to wear a belt against your will. As you are in the USA, you can call CPS or even 911. The moment you see that belt, you need to mention how much trouble your parents would be in. I believe 2 parents were arrested and jailed for many years (20 years or life) for keeping their daughter handcuffed to a bed. You need to stand your ground and be upfront with the potential consequences your family would face. Sure, it'll destroy the relationship, but you really need this as your sister's problems are now becoming yours.
Off topic, but I knew someone who lost her teen years cuz she had to deal with her older sister's kids by babysitting them while attending middle and high school. I don't want you to feel you are responsible for your sister's mistakes, either.
Fourth, as long as you are continuing to chat or vent, please do so here, so you aren't injuring yourself. You really need to value your life and know that you still have a future. Your life is not going to end up like your sister's, so please keep doing your best to live your best life. Your parents have NOTHING against you. Keep thinking of the positive and continue living for your success. You can make it, but you need to first step forward.
- Edited
Raziel thank you for the greeting
i know its definitely illegal if they try to force me in one and that i can certainly get out of this household at any point but the problem is basically this. ive developed a major dependence on being with my friend who is an online friend though. we literaly spend all day if we can just doing stuff together. this friend is someone i want to move in with in one year. i have really big plans right now to hurry and get my social security card then work but i also still want to maintain access to my friend and being bale to play stuff witht hem as thats my main release/escape or whatever. i know it sounds maybe pathetic to some or just dumb but i really need to be able to play with my friend and calling cps would put me in an entirely different enviorment which would complicate all myplans with my friend. id probably have tpo wait until im 18 then and i cant do that i wana be with them now its been like 3 years of me knowing them and they are literally everything to me and i think about moving in with them every day. i live in a really good area for getting ajob too because theres so many just everywhere lol. my life has undergone alot of changes overtime though and my parents are alot different than they used to be. i of course still dont know my belt situation though but if this gets too rough of course ill definitely call the hotline and stuff i just prefer i guess waiting it out until i can be with my friend because it would mak ethings a lot easier for me and id be happier. i also wana say though that i try my best to stay uninvolved with my sisters and their kids. im pretty much just locked away in my room at all times. and my future and reason for living is my friend! they defintiely are my hope and my motivation so i am always looking forward to them and to that i used to not want to live past 20ish cuz i thought all you had to do is just work then but now i have someone i wana be with
- Edited
vyktoryah i dont really see how me watching that is gonna do that to me
It reminds me of "violent video games make people violent" kind of bs I kept hearing a lot of times. I play some violent video games like GTA series but nobody with sober and sound mind would be tempted to actually go out and shoot random people on street in real life.
Raziel As you are in the USA, you can call CPS or even 911. The moment you see that belt, you need to mention how much trouble your parents would be in.
It is a good idea. Making them know potential legal consequences would serve as a deterrent. I think most of states have certain group of people who are legally obligated to report such abuse if they suspect any signs of abuse. If your parents end up in prison for such offence, at least in US prisons, they'll be considered as "lowest kind of existence" among inmates on top of stiff prison sentence.
And keep anything that can be an evidence, as statute of limitation for such crime may be near indefinite (At least in my country such crime has no statute of limitation), so legal system can go after them even after you move out, if you report such abuse later as well.
Raziel Fourth, as long as you are continuing to chat or vent, please do so here, so you aren't injuring yourself. You really need to value your life and know that you still have a future.
I am trans, and despite living closeted now (Living with parents who aren't understanding...) and I developed strong hatred towards my life, but at least the fact that I have a truly loving partner who is affirming of my gender identity is helping me to navigate through my life a lot. She has been keeping me from harming myself...
MaximeJourennes Call the police ? It's not that simple I think
Of course it is not simple at all, they are her parents, but if the other option is tolerate abuses, then, I choose police if it is necessary.
vyktoryah
Any coercion is acceptable, if it is true what are you saying you have a lot of resources.
vyktoryah and my future and reason for living is my friend!
The reason has to be you, not anyone more.
vyktoryah ive developed a major dependence on being with my friend who is an online friend though. we literaly spend all day
Every addiction is bad. I do not make criticism of your life, but you should find another elements.