Sin Flip that on it's head and they would start questioning their parenting methods pretty damn quickly.
whereby we would then be no better than our parents. it is true that what our parents do is a form of blackmail, but the other way round we would also blackmail our parents. if it went according to the method, there would no longer be any rules and everyone would do what he/she wants. then families would be destroyed.
Angelina it is true that what our parents do is a form of blackmail, but the other way round we would also blackmail our parents.
No because there is no blackmail in the other direction. "I love you but I'm not a child and I'm not doing this anymore, it's damaging. I'm moving into a share house with my friends."
If he cuts off ties with you for that he's going to die a very lonely old man. You are his world. You said yourself he's got no-one else. That's a lot to give up! It might break him but it sounds like he needs it.
Sin No because there is no blackmail in the other direction. "I love you but I'm not a child and I'm not doing this anymore, it's damaging. I'm moving into a share house with my friends."
This is 100% my stance. Sons and daughters are meant to develop and going away. It is natural, not something done to hurt.
That is what should happen.
Expecially when some environment becomes toxic on the long run. Sadly sometimes this is difficult.
The message the parents are sending is so pervasive, though. You go to (an American) high school and are told you can't bare your shoulders least it inflame passions in the boys. You go to church and are told it's God's plan that you be chaste. So you go home and hear the same thing and after a while you believe this all pervasive message. It's hard to rebel.
Avery I have never been to the USA but my perception is that it has really turned to fundamentalist Christianity in the last 20 years or so. This never seemed to be the case in the 90s... you never really saw it on tv or heard about it in music, but now it's everywhere. I'm sure people went to church, but now it seems to be a really huge, ingrained part of society. It influences your laws despite there supposedly being a seperation between church and state.
I might be wrong but my perception is that the USA is now at least as fundamentalist / religious as much of the middle east. Certainly a lot more than Australia or much of Western Europe.
All the more reason to tread your own path I would say! ;-)
Sin No because there is no blackmail in the other direction. "I love you but I'm not a child and I'm not doing this anymore, it's damaging. I'm moving into a share house with my friends."
i understand what you mean, but i don't know if it's bad for me. my dad thinks it's good for me and i think it's not good for me, but neither of us has any proof that it's right for me to wear a belt or not.
besides, i don't think that's the way families should talk to each other. it's more like talking to a boss who almost runs the company into the ground for the third time.
Avery after a while you believe this all pervasive message. It's hard to rebel.
i don't believe my father's claims, but i can't prove the opposite either
Sin I'm not sure we've caught up to the middle east, maybe in some parts of the South, the so-called bible belt. I do know in my public high school in the Northeast, serving three adjacent towns there was a dress code. Females were forbidden bare shoulders, bare middies (even an inch), jeans with holes in them and skirts above the knees. We all kept hoodies in our lockers which avoided one being sent home for above the waist violations. The rational often given was not that such wear was indecent but that it would distract the boys and interfere with the learning experience. Evidently college boys concentrate better because at my uni we can wear anything that won't get you arrested on the street.
Avery Evidently college boys concentrate better because at my uni we can wear anything that won't get you arrested on the street.
It looks like this proofs the conclusion you got as argument was wrong.
I can't understand why it's going in this conservative direction in the US. I see some similar movement in Germany as well and hope it is not so much like I see here at the forum.
Sin Yes, but if all the boys wore cages it would ruin the fun of random cup checks!
(For the unathletic, participants in contact sports usually wear what in the US is called a cup over their genital areas to protect from direct hits to the privates. The cups are uncomfortable and some leave them off. So wise guys will pass by their friends and strike them in the groin and call out Cup Check! hoping to catch a buddy unprepared.)
Avery I sometimes wonder how much effect the parents' views have on their eventual grandchildren.
If you don't work at it, it will have an impact on how you raise your children.
The best thing to do is to get information from many different sources to form your opinion, ask yourself if what you have learned is what you really want, try new things or what you were not allowed to do to see if you like it or not and find your way.
It can then be that you go the same direction or somewhere else. In any case, then you know it is your way.
Sin I guess it's similar here (Australia), maybe a little less strict but most schools still have dress standards. It's been a while since I went to school though!
Here, in public schools there is not any code, and so many girls attend as true hookers.
Private school is different and in general uniforms are mandatory.
It is true that in my high school usually girls cheated a bit with the skirt length, but inside a reasonable gap. Even the teachers if it was not very exaggerated, I remember two cases in all my school and high school, did not say nothing.
It was curious because sometimes the female teachers joked about the point, but they did not go further.
Male teachers were more respectful and they never said nothing. Sometimes if one of the thought that something about our uniform was wrong, he searched for a female teacher and she corrected us.
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Here in Italy we have no uniforms even in private school. I did one (private is the low tiered school compared to public...).
There are no strange clothes anyeay; not today nor in the past. It is all pretty casual.
LoonyMel Or, at least, they would have a lot less leverage.
Yes,even if it is not the main one,in my case.
Breaking the relationship with my parents would be the worst part.
Renita I was trying to mention it, but was asked what for.
Difficult to answer,if you wear since a long time and so can't tell it is for comfort....
Sin It might break him but it sounds like he needs it.
But it can hurt her too.
Test what?
LoonyMel Here in Italy we have no uniforms
Same in France.
Avery I sometimes wonder how much effect the parents' views have on their eventual grandchildren.
partly, i will definitely not use a chastity belt on my children (at least not against their will), but there are a few methods i would also use, like contractually agreeing on the house rules, but i want to make one thing clear, i want my father to stay out of our children's upbringing later on
Ines Here, in public schools there is not any code, and so many girls attend as true hookers.
and that is exactly why i would like school uniforms at german schools, some girls really look extremely slutty 
Private school and the uniform is fairly strict.
