Ines I've been silent on this forum for a long time, due to ongoing health issues, but I look in from time to time and my conscience wouldn't let me ignore your post.

Ines I don't want anyone to thank me for anything.

Nah, sorry, you don't get let off that easily. If you want to know how good a moderator you were (together with Laura of course) look at the forum: almost troll free, full of lively discussion, lots of disagreements but nearly always respectful discourse. You should be proud of that.
Of course you weren't perfect, none of us are (well, except Donald Trump) but you don't need to beat yourself up over the odd mistake. I have to say that while I occasionally disagreed with you, I certainly agreed with most of your posts, and even as a self confessed fetishist I've always felt welcome here. Nobody paid you for what you've done, it was solely because you care and you want to make a difference, which you did. As for offending people, your comments to one or two folk that I can think of who were offended were absolutely spot on and deserve no apology at all, frankly I'd have banned at least one.
I've been careful to write about all your actions in the past tense as I don't want to try and persuade you to return. You know what you need; I've no idea how you managed to combine notoriously demanding medical studies with moderation of the forum. I'm retired and I'd struggle to find that time.
Leave, focus on your future and be proud of a job well done, but if you could pop back occasionally and give us a quick update, that would be great.
So finally, despite your entreaty, a big THANK YOU from me, and I'm sure many other members of the forum.
Best wishes for your future.
Tony

      Ines A big hug to you Ines and always follow your passion... 🌹

        @Ines I am not on here as much as I used to be. I am playing catch-up figuring out what happened. Since I am behind, I am not commenting on what little of the "issue" that I saw; however, I can say that I am a native English speaker, I did learn a little German, so I know how much can get lost in translations. Given that -- YOU DO A FANTASTIC JOB moderating. Also your usual comments are insightful and wise. I hope you just take a break and come back after you catch up on other things (as a Moderator or not).

        The one thing I can comment on that seems to be the main issue that I have seen so far is: Communications.

        May I make a suggestion that in some cases (this one ?) a private message would help straighten things out with less chance that feelings get hurt. This would be the one case I think private messages on the board would be an asset. For the moderators it must be difficult to write what must be written to correct behavior in a public message, and on the flip side, it would be difficult to receive said correction in a public message.

          JonesMacGyver May I make a suggestion that in some cases (this one ?) a private message would help straighten things out with less chance that feelings get hurt

          Let me think about it. Maybe not for everybody

              No @Ines don't leave!! Even though we're polar opposites I relate to you the most on here. You're posts have always been insightful, and I find your commitment to chastity inspiring. You make the forum a better place.

              I wish you all the best and I hope you come back to say hi sometimes.

              ps your accent is sexy

              Laura Let me think about it. Maybe not for everybody

              Mods already have email power and could take it there.

              @Ines - Sorry to lose you, but you could always be here and NOT a moderator, you know…

                Ines

                phew....I don't even know where to start now, I hope you're at least reading this.

                your factual reasons are easy to understand, time is always a bit short and the forum has grown, you study, do sports and do it with full energy and conviction, all the best for this path, i hope you can fulfill all your dreams.

                frankly, what you wrote afterwards also made me cry, because I have the feeling that it doesn't have to be like that. I had a different opinion on many points, both in terms of content and how this forum should be designed, but I never meant that personally. I have always respected and admired you very much for the job you did here.

                Discussions, even tough ones, cannot always be avoided. I'm sorry if you felt personally attacked in any way. I offer you my email if you want to clarify that.

                I don't want to convince you of anything, it's your personal decision, but maybe it's also because of your role as moderator that some things have gone wrong from your point of view, i.e. that the forum is no longer the way you wanted it to be . I don't quite understand why you're leaving completely. I understand that you don't want to be a moderator anymore because you can get a lot of criticism in this position, but as a member of the forum I would like to have you here.

                well, be it as it is. I have nothing left but to say thank you, you have done a lot for this forum and as a human being I have always liked and respected you. 🙂

                @Laura

                we will probably need a new moderator, maybe we should start a thread about it?

                    Angelina we will probably need a new moderator,

                    And also more changes, since @Vanessa doesn't seem to have time for the forum, and it's hard for me to run it alone

                    Angelina maybe we should start a thread about it?

                    Let me think about the situation first

                          Laura

                          if you need help, let me know. i hope we can soon come to a solution that is satisfactory for all. 🙂

                            Goodbye @Ines I'm very sorry to see you go, I consider you one of the original members of this forum. I can only imagine how difficult it was to regulate a forum like this. I echo the sentiment here that even though you feel you can no longer perform the duties of a moderator that you would still remain a member. I wish you all the best ahead in your life.

                              Valadar I echo the sentiment here that even though you feel you can no longer perform the duties of a moderator that you would still remain a member.

                              frankly i hope so too, maybe she will come back as a normal member someday, it's a shame when a member who has been part of the forum for so long and posted so much leaves 🙁

                                Ines hola, ha pasado bastante tiempo desde la última vez que escribí algo aquí, solo quería decirte que lamento tu salida, creo que eres una persona excepcional, me hubiera gustado hablar contigo en nuestro idioma. Espero que vuelvas algún día, aunque sea solo para echar un vistazo, deseo que estés bien y que nunca cambies. Adiós.

                                  Ines It's very sad that you leave. You are a celebrity here in this community. How about just taking a time out and return as a normal member?

                                    a month later

                                    Ines
                                    As my first actual contribution outside the introduction thread, let me just say: I personally found your forum posts made this a better place. Whether it was organizing threads and keeping discussions on topic, sharing your experiences and giving general advice, or simply the dedication and virtuous enthusiasm that could not only be read but actually be felt in your forum activities and may have served as shining example, how chastity can work when practiced from deep conviction.

                                    You haven't asked me for advice, so I hope you wont mind, if I allow myself to give it nonetheless: When time constraints you, do what is currently more important to you. When emotional turmoil takes its toll, indeed care for that as well and do and seek out anything that is necessary to feel in a way you actually like.

                                    If you speak about conflicts and controversies, I'm not sure whether I know if you mean the same which I could think of. I can just say, that I believe to be able to contextualise, and understand a sufficient majority of them.

                                    Maybe this it not just for you but a more general interjection:
                                    As I see it, we (forum users) don't have to think and feel the same in all matters, all the time. Actually, not doing so and still engaging in communication enables us to learn and transcend our, often inherited, mental limitations.

                                    Just to make this more clear, I don't believe in a simple "just talk and everything will solve on it's own"-world:
                                    I don't say that keeping up communication per se is the only requirement for a fruitful exchange. (Just think of communication that might come across as a provocation, aggression or the like, at first.)
                                    Yet, sometimes - as in an animal that shies away at first or barks wildly or behaves in some other way coming across as unfavourable at first - we often give messages and hints but in a way that is misunderstood at first. One might even go so far and say that communication is always a composition of understanding and misunderstanding, since our neural networks are all configured uniquely and just can't draw the same conclusions from the same messages unless we invest extra effort to understand each other better.
                                    And still, even misunderstandings may become a start. A start of something that will prove to be very valuable over time. (I might put more philosophy and communication stuff here, but there may be other places to go more in-depth about this.)

                                    So, to get back to any potential controversies: Even if they feel like a burden at first, we might as well consider practising to interpret whatever was said or written more benevolently. Benevolence towards ourselves and towards others, which eventually enables us to be more true to our own inner truths, passions, and hopefully joy.

                                    In this regard, let me just point to a poem "Words are Windows (or They're Walls)" by Ruth Bebermeyer, which really touched me. (See for instance here: https://opensourcespirituality.blogspot.com/2014/10/words-are-windows-or-theyre-walls-by.html )

                                    Anyway, Ines, wherever you are and whatever you do, I wish you the best as well. Apart from that, I join the users suggesting to return (whether as moderator or as user without those duties), whenever it suits you.

                                        6 days later

                                        Owl In this regard, let me just point to a poem "Words are Windows (or They're Walls)" by Ruth Bebermeyer, which really touched me. (See for instance here: https://opensourcespirituality.blogspot.com/2014/10/words-are-windows-or-theyre-walls-by.html )

                                        Anyway, Ines, wherever you are and whatever you do, I wish you the best as well. Apart from that, I join the users suggesting to return (whether as moderator or as user without those duties), whenever it suits you.

                                        This is a very good poem.

                                          18 days later

                                          Hello everyone and thank you for your words. I think I am ready to bring it back here, albeit little by little.
                                          I must say that I am happy with how the forum has been able to keep itself free from the excesses that we have sometimes had in the community.
                                          Although I have told you in private, I must congratulate you, @Laura and @Megan for how you have kept order.