maintenance punishment in male led relations?
Oddly enough, this reminds me of something my mother-in-law said at Christmas after drinking a little too much egg nog, if you catch my drift: she admitted that though she tries to accept that I’m transgender and treat me like a daughter, to her I’m still a man choosing to live as a woman. But that she also felt it was more appropriate that I’m taking control and taming her tomboy daughter with my “masculine” side rather than trying to play at being a housewife. .
I should be offended, but she’s 70 and Catholic, it’s not the craziest thing she’s said about my gender.
Haha, I really do need to write a post updating everyone!
youdontknowme Excuse me for being unclear with my wording. I meant measures where the unpleasant part is necessary to achieve an objective, not necessarily where it is the objective.
We don't use it. I think it is called educational spankings. If I understand you correctly.
Avery OK. So you have consented to enter into a relationship where you do not have equal power. I understand that kind of relationship.
Yes and everything without consent is wrong and abusive.
Avery But right alongside your stuff are postings where young people are in relationships where they have no choice in whether they participate and that's what sets me off.
I was not forced in this relationship, my parents forced me to see him once, but said at the very beginning that they will not force me in a relationship with him and if I don't like him, there would have be no need to ever see him again. Luckily it ended in a very happy and consensual relationship.
youdontknowme The key is that you had equapl power before you chose this relationship, so you could freely choose whether to give consent. That makes a huge difference.
Yes and another key is that you have a way in your relationship to change your mind. I have agreed to a 6 months waiting period if I ever change my mind about this lifestyle. If I want to continue the relationship with him but not the lifestyle, Everything stays as it is and if I still have the same opinion after 6 months, we switch to equal rights.
youdontknowme Personally, I use the term punishment to describe hurting people for a justifiable cause, not necessarily to refer exclusively to penalties in response to misbehavior. But if anyone can come up with a better word for that, I am all ears.
yes, i see it a bit differently and as i said i am not an expert in this topic, but for me a punishment is always a reaction to a wrong behaviour. if you have not done anything wrong you cannot be punished for anything.
Sara2001 Yes, most people would are not in touch with this lifestyle just see the physical aspects but the mental/psychological aspects are much, much more important and they are completely different.
I agree with you, but you have explained it well several times here in the forum so that everyone can understand it. 
Sara2001 Yes and another key is that you have a way in your relationship to change your mind. I have agreed to a 6 months waiting period if I ever change my mind about this lifestyle. If I want to continue the relationship with him but not the lifestyle, Everything stays as it is and if I still have the same opinion after 6 months, we switch to equal rights.
i think this way is very good and it is good that you always have an "exit switch", i think you have said everything that is important. i also had my doubts at the beginning, but some people will understand what you mean after a while, like me, and others won't.