maintenance punishment in male led relations?

Avery No it isn't. You need to read more, or maybe less, if it's internet stuff.

What is your source. My sources are several couples I really know in real life, including my own relationship. A punishment that I don't feel anymore after a few hours has almost no long term effect and only lead to more punishments. This is something that couples practice who do this for their sexual entertainment, not to organise their relationship. At least that's my experience.

Avery As I said, you need to read more, or understand it. You have chosen this type of relationship. That's the key. You can choose. Can you really not understand there are people who can't? No, maybe not.

I always say that living this lifestyle must be consensual, I said it directly and clear dozens of times. Nobody should ever be forced in this kind of relationship. But consensual and equal rights is something completely different. I am not the one who obviously doesn't understand this lifestyle.

Angelina maintenance and punishment are two different things

Yes, most people would are not in touch with this lifestyle just see the physical aspects but the mental/psychological aspects are much, much more important and they are completely different.

youdontknowme Then what word would you use to describe something unpleasant that is inflicted onto a person because it is unpleasant?

A sado maso sex game. Abuse if it's not consent.

youdontknowme I feel we need some clearer vocabulary to describe those disciplinary maintenance...

There is a very clear vocabulary used in the taken in hand/domestic discipline community.

What is most important. In these lifestyles, physical discipline is always given for a reason. Mainly maintenance (of the relationship), punishment and reminder (not as usual as the other two). They normally never come just on it's own but are always embedded in a kind of "session" including a lot of talking and understanding eachother and eachothers point of view.

Anything else is just abuse or a sexual fetishism.

youdontknowme But if anyone can come up with a better word for that, I am all ears.

Discipline.

Sara2001 Discipline

I can live with that. It still has an ambiguous meaning between "obedience and self-control" and "the means to achieve such obedience", but that ambiguity is common in regular language as well and not limited to a particular community's jargon.

Sara2001 A sado maso sex game. Abuse if it's not consent.

Excuse me for being unclear with my wording. I meant measures where the unpleasant part is necessary to achieve an objective, not necessarily where it is the objective. I would imagine a working discipline measure is not always the most enjoyable experience, even if the outcome is something you are happy with.

Sara2001 But consensual and equal rights is something completely different. I am not the one who obviously doesn't understand this lifestyle.

OK. So you have consented to enter into a relationship where you do not have equal power. I understand that kind of relationship.

And I agree with whoever said you have made informative points in the old 35-maintenance-and-punishment thread.

But right alongside your stuff are postings where young people are in relationships where they have no choice in whether they participate and that's what sets me off.

I'm done. Have the last word if you want to bother.

Avery OK. So you have consented to enter into a relationship where you do not have equal power.

The key is that you had equapl power before you chose this relationship, so you could freely choose whether to give consent. That makes a huge difference.

Avery
I understand you view but you are longer at the forum that you know the discussion is often going sidewise.
If I consider the intro question @Sara2001 posting fit in nicely. So I have little problem why you react so harsh.

Diana_V Regardless of what gender of the leader, maintenance punishment is appropriate if agreed upon by both sides. I do agree that girls seem to need it more, but it doesn’t matter if it’s a male-led relationship.

sun

That’s part of the trade-off of leading the marriage, though. You lift the burden of decision-making from the other, and it’s often tiring. Being in charge is a responsibility, not just for fun.

youdontknowme The key is that you had equal power before you chose this relationship, so you could freely choose whether to give consent. That makes a huge difference.

I wish I had said this so clearly.

Joh So I have little problem why you react so harsh.

Think I was out of line. Sorry.

Diana_V

Oddly enough, this reminds me of something my mother-in-law said at Christmas after drinking a little too much egg nog, if you catch my drift: she admitted that though she tries to accept that I’m transgender and treat me like a daughter, to her I’m still a man choosing to live as a woman. But that she also felt it was more appropriate that I’m taking control and taming her tomboy daughter with my “masculine” side rather than trying to play at being a housewife. .
I should be offended, but she’s 70 and Catholic, it’s not the craziest thing she’s said about my gender.

Haha, I really do need to write a post updating everyone!

youdontknowme Personally, I use the term punishment to describe hurting people for a justifiable cause, not necessarily to refer exclusively to penalties in response to misbehavior. But if anyone can come up with a better word for that, I am all ears.

yes, i see it a bit differently and as i said i am not an expert in this topic, but for me a punishment is always a reaction to a wrong behaviour. if you have not done anything wrong you cannot be punished for anything.

Sara2001 Yes, most people would are not in touch with this lifestyle just see the physical aspects but the mental/psychological aspects are much, much more important and they are completely different.

I agree with you, but you have explained it well several times here in the forum so that everyone can understand it.

Sara2001 Yes and another key is that you have a way in your relationship to change your mind. I have agreed to a 6 months waiting period if I ever change my mind about this lifestyle. If I want to continue the relationship with him but not the lifestyle, Everything stays as it is and if I still have the same opinion after 6 months, we switch to equal rights.

i think this way is very good and it is good that you always have an "exit switch", i think you have said everything that is important. i also had my doubts at the beginning, but some people will understand what you mean after a while, like me, and others won't.