Controlling multiple habits

Jonas Yea part of it is that I want to control my body, not my body control me. I've formed bad habits over a long period and typical methods haven't worked for me. Possibly once I've built up a good habit for a long enough time I won't need the belt anymore, I am unsure. Still just taking this one day at a time.

Jonas The belt helps by making it much more difficult for the body to act out "against your will".

I like to think of it as leveraging the time when my will is strong overcome my weak will later, ie I decide to lock the belt when I am able so later I cannot give in to weakness.

Jonas Have you tried getting an accountability partner to help you to control your habits?

No one other than my wife knows about my belt. I don't know that I could tell anyone as its such a taboo subject, getting people past the whole fetish scene is nearly impossible, which you simply cannot avoid searching for any info on chastity devices and their uses. On the other hand, I am increasingly resolved as to my reasoning for wearing my belt, if someone were to find out I would just explain it to them and try to warn them not to bother with online searches.

I do have a friend who knows about my masturbation and occasionally asks how I am doing on that.

Today I made my first goal of 16 days. I am taking a morning break out of my belt before putting it back on later probably after I get some exercise. I think I got over the "hump" of extreme frustration I was having earlier this week, but who knows it could return just have to persevere. Now regarding drinking, I did end up having some whiskey the other day, I won't let it get me down just going to move on and keep trying. I am not trying to stop for good just get used to not having it frequently.

Jonas In fact I wouldn't even bother to warn them about online searches.

Well the reason I would say something about the internet is that its quite common to learn about things with an internet search. So if I told a friend about my situation and why I do it, they might later be inclined to learn more only be to slapped with all kinds of fetish nonsense. We need more sites like this one so at least there's another way of looking at this out there.

Yesterday was an interesting day. I had intended to have a morning break, do some exercise, get cleaned up and put my belt back on. It ended up being much later in the afternoon and I didn't exercise. I was really struggling to convince myself to re-lock. That's the major pitfall of self-locking, but I managed. Its interesting though that I felt rather down prior and that's why (or at least I thought) I didn't want to put my belt back on, but once I did re-lock I started to feel better. I did relax in the evening and had some whiskey, it wasn't a failure just a decision...it was Friday evening, the weekend, that's the appropriate time if there is one.

Today I am just going to leave the belt on until its time to shower, I can easily do light exercise without removal as its only really intense stuff where its an issue. The other thing I am doing is keeping a log of how things are going as it helps to write down my own thoughts and observations even when I was struggling yesterday my last entry was "I am not going to put my belt back on"...glad I was wrong about that.

Thomas Also it feels good to commit to a good decision!

Yes it definitely does!

Angelina I don't like reading that your situation is involuntary hopefully its not too forceful, I know I saw some posts about it and wanted to read through to get familiar but hadn't done that yet. I am glad you are still able to have a positive attitude about it and even be encouraging to others.

The logging really helps, its a way to vent what I am thinking and then I can also look back and try to observe patterns in my behavior to hopefully deal with them better later. One such pattern is that sometimes I get this intense feeling of just not wanting the belt on my body, so I start to think I won't use it or when I have a chance to remove it I won't put it back. I've realized this is just me semi-consciously trying to justify leaving it off so I can do what its intended to prevent.

Jen I'm still worried - like is your wife feeling ignored? I don't understand this at all - I mean even if sex is difficult there's other things. Like doesn't she wasn't that closeness with you?

Her medical issues are pretty extreme, although not any one thing there are many problems. Doctors plain and simple don't know how to help her. I have had to take her to the emergency room 5 times in just the last month, they usually can't even help her other than verify she's not dying. I do believe there is a way for her to get better but it requires her making decisions for herself, all I've tried to do is provide her information but she has to want to do it. I do my best to be there for her, and I don't hold it against her in any way that she can't always reciprocate because its not her fault.

Jen The belt is freedom

Its funny how true that is, you'd think putting a lock on anything would be less freedom. Not having to worry is the freedom.

Sasha Sorry to hear your wife has to go through these things. You’re a great husband sticking by her and being so understanding.
Hope she can find a way to feel better soon

Thank you its always a struggle but after 10 years I've gotten used to it. We do have plenty of blessings, a 6 y/o daughter who is just the happiest kid you could meet, I've been very successful at my job, we have a nice house, everything we need. Most importantly we have our faith in Christ, we may suffer here but not in the next.

Ines I hope you can get soon a solution.
You can be proud of yourself.
I will pray for her.

Thank you!

Jonas And I find the stronger the lock the less I have to stress about.

Yea this definitely helps. Its why I concluded trap style devices are a waste of time for me, I can defeat them so easily and they are too uncomfortable. This is what drew me to the Neosteel design, its effective in preventing bad behavior while its on and secure enough that I can't remove it without the keys.

No device is impervious to the determined wearer however, I know I could remove the Neosteel quite easily with simple hand tools, but the consequence would be damaging a very expensive piece of hardware, so I find that to be an effective deterrent.

In the past I've also been determined enough to destroy the lockbox I use for the keys, so what I do now is lock the shackle of the box onto a metal frame so I cannot remove it and take it down to my shop. Sounds pretty extreme but when you start to lose your mind due to temptation its easy to do stupid things. This system is effective enough that I think I can finally accept the belt is here to stay.