Joh I see what you mean, a subtitle but significant destruction
Single again chastity
Sasha To the question of what would you do. My siblings are being taught that it’s best to wait until it’s a serious relationship so the act is meaningful.
I think that is a very good attitude
Joh You mean you changed your view and acepted it becaus you could not change it.
i have not changed my mind about the belt, but i have understood that you can't have everything in life and i have to pay a price for it if i want to continue my life as it is now
Joh Despite the different perspective, she is still against it, but she doesn't mind so much.
maybe it's also something to do with the fact that, despite all the justified criticism, I no longer want my father to be called a pervert or something like that here.
Jonas Being caught would have brought this idea home with a bump and made the change actually happen.
Otherwise she would never agree for a belt.
Jonas but I hope you don't feel too much resentment about your time in the belt
I felt humiliated.
Angelina do you think, especially in view of your first marriage when you were young, that you might have made a different decision if you had worn a belt?
No, I don't think so. I'm a different type. Maybe premarital virginity, but it wouldn't make too much difference.
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This, actually the whole hassle between Christine and her mother, is one perfect example why I am against putting too much pressure on people. It taints something that might otherwise have been a valuable concept. Ofc, you see people that still get used to their state or even (more or less) get to like their equipment, nonetheless. But the risk of putting people off and towards aversion is IMHO far greater. I don't want to accuse Christine's mother for bad motives regarding Christine or her chastity. Actually I rather want to believe she wanted the best. But you simply can't do it the way she did.
When I read humiliation, I read failure.
[Exception (BDSM): Unless we are talking about mutually agreed and desired play behaviour, which is obviously not the scope of this discussion.]
16 days later
Christine If I knew about chastity belts before, I would suggest it earlier.
i am more talking about whether you, as a former "victim" of your mother, are now the right key holder, it can put you in an emotionally difficult situation.
curious Does she think it should be allowed or should a belt be used to make self gratification impossible for the wearer?
@Christine had to wear the belt 24/7, I think that explains the position of her mother
curious Did you ever ask your mother about her values? For example what her idea is about masturbation? Does she think it should be allowed or should a belt be used to make self gratification impossible for the wearer?
When I asked about this, Christine said
Christine MissBlossom and ask if that's something that she feels she needs.
I don't want to go so far yet.
Angelina @Christine had to wear the belt 24/7, I think that explains the position of her mother
Might be. But it might also be that denying her self pleasure was meant as punishment for whatever her mother thought she did wrong. We just don't know.
But if you are right and complete chastity without breaks for masturbation really reflects @Christine 's mothers values, then as a keyholder Christine should actually enforce these values instead of taking the more relaxed approach she has taken so far. After all, the belt in this case should actually help her mother live up to her own standards and not just to what Chrstine thinks is right.b
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We must always reflect on the long time of (what I, as outsider, might call highly questionable) interactions within Christine's family: With other singles, above all her mother, apparently not following their own high standards, while Christine was openly portrayed negatively.
If I try to imagine that:
- Other family members with same relationship situation, but not belted, not living chastely, even randomly sexing around, ...
- while I - being convinced I could actually live chastely (whether a delusion or for real is different topic) - were the one put under pressure to wear and were made to look silly (about my past, my attitude, or whatever) in front of the above same family members for months and years.
I think resentment was a rather logical consequence. And it might take long and considerable steps to improve the overall situation.
curious Might be. But it might also be that denying her self pleasure was meant as punishment for whatever her mother thought she did wrong. We just don't know.
the question is as punishment for what? getting divorced? better than living in an unhappy marriage. because she married early and was not mature enough? maybe, but she probably loved the man very much in the past. because she was financially dependent? can be, but better to live with the mother again than on the streets
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But then this must also apply to the mother herself.
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Or the family members of same marital status. I'm inclined to say: Especially ones naming and shaming Christine while sexing around themselves. (All assuming we know all relevant parts of the story.)
Although I generally don't like the idea of chastity as punishment. :-| It deserves way better...
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That being said - and to get a bit more general and not make this a Christine-only Thread:
The situation has reminded me about different concepts and variants of shame:
If shame leads to positive social connection, (re-)integration, contemplation what one wants, support, and/or is part of needed inner cleansing, it can actually be helpful. Some researcher call that pro-social shame.
Besides, let's face it: A failed marriage - at least in many societies I know - has also a lot of potential for shame of various kinds. Decide for yourself how you think about it.
Anyway, if an unpleasant situation, a personal failure etc leads to alienation, pillory, humiliation, etc. then shame becomes anti-social, destructive. Even more so when interwoven with double-standards. (Like some family members preaching chastity for singles, but violating their own standards, while the one family member of all, that actually wears a belt (w/ supervised breaks, full-time), is hold up to ridicule.)
I understand you're stance, but shame more times than not turns within and become a negative force that leads to self hatred and more social isolation. Shame means i'm not good enough. There is nothing good that comes from that mindset. Once shame is established it takes a great deal of work to overcome. A great deal of work and generally a great deal of time. I do find this forum to be one that people can actually disagree, thanks