Single again chastity

Joh

Sasha To the question of what would you do. My siblings are being taught that it’s best to wait until it’s a serious relationship so the act is meaningful.
However they are also taught that if they’re going to do it anyway, how to be safe. And the risk if they aren’t.

That is a good way to teachem how to do it right and safe and explain them all the risk.
Nowadays, I have the impression that not enough attention is paid to the fact that an unwanted pregnancy can also lead to the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease or AIDS. Medicine has improved, but there is still a risk of permanent.

pestulens

Joh depends a lot on where you are. I have friends who are teachers so I know their school do a pretty good job but I hear from them that kids who come in from other places are sometimes ignorant of such things to the point they think it should be a crime.

Joh

Angelina Of course, I never claimed his reasoning was correct, it's just an example of how to turn things around as you see fit

You mean you changed your view and acepted it becaus you could not change it.

pestulens

Joh I don't think she has changed her view, but she accepted that her father had the power to make her live by his view even if she didn't agree with it.

Angelina

Sasha To the question of what would you do. My siblings are being taught that it’s best to wait until it’s a serious relationship so the act is meaningful.

I think that is a very good attitude

Joh You mean you changed your view and acepted it becaus you could not change it.

i have not changed my mind about the belt, but i have understood that you can't have everything in life and i have to pay a price for it if i want to continue my life as it is now

Joh Despite the different perspective, she is still against it, but she doesn't mind so much.

maybe it's also something to do with the fact that, despite all the justified criticism, I no longer want my father to be called a pervert or something like that here.

Joh

pestulens I don't think she has changed her view, but she accepted that her father had the power to make her live by his view even if she didn't agree with it.

After what she has written, her perspective has changed so that she can better live with the situation and the disadvantages. Despite the different perspective, she is still against it, but she doesn't mind so much.

pestulens

Joh I see what you mean, a subtitle but significant destruction

Joh

Avery I'm pretty sure in mine birth control has a lot to do with it.

What exactly does that mean for you?

Contraceptives and correct behaviour are the means of choice. A CB may be a last resort, but it needs to be considered very carefully.

Avery

Joh A CB may be a last resort, but it needs to be considered very carefully.

Only as an accessory.

Christine

Jonas Being caught would have brought this idea home with a bump and made the change actually happen.

Otherwise she would never agree for a belt.

Jonas but I hope you don't feel too much resentment about your time in the belt

I felt humiliated.

Angelina do you think, especially in view of your first marriage when you were young, that you might have made a different decision if you had worn a belt?

No, I don't think so. I'm a different type. Maybe premarital virginity, but it wouldn't make too much difference.

Jonas

Christine I felt humiliated.

I am so sorry to hear it. Has the pain lessened over time or do you still feel the same way about what happened?

Angelina

Christine I felt humiliated.

understandable and that's why i'm a little sceptical about you taking on the role of keyholder. it could be that you want to take revenge for this humiliation (even if only subconsciously).

Christine

Jonas Has the pain lessened over time or do you still feel the same way about what happened?

I'm fine now, but still I do not agree to resume wearing a belt.

Angelina it could be that you want to take revenge for this humiliation

If I knew about chastity belts before, I would suggest it earlier.

Owl

This, actually the whole hassle between Christine and her mother, is one perfect example why I am against putting too much pressure on people. It taints something that might otherwise have been a valuable concept. Ofc, you see people that still get used to their state or even (more or less) get to like their equipment, nonetheless. But the risk of putting people off and towards aversion is IMHO far greater. I don't want to accuse Christine's mother for bad motives regarding Christine or her chastity. Actually I rather want to believe she wanted the best. But you simply can't do it the way she did.

When I read humiliation, I read failure.
[Exception (BDSM): Unless we are talking about mutually agreed and desired play behaviour, which is obviously not the scope of this discussion.]

curious

Christine If I knew about chastity belts before, I would suggest it earlier.

Did you ever ask your mother about her values? For example what her idea is about masturbation? Does she think it should be allowed or should a belt be used to make self gratification impossible for the wearer?

Angelina

Christine If I knew about chastity belts before, I would suggest it earlier.

i am more talking about whether you, as a former "victim" of your mother, are now the right key holder, it can put you in an emotionally difficult situation.

curious Does she think it should be allowed or should a belt be used to make self gratification impossible for the wearer?

@Christine had to wear the belt 24/7, I think that explains the position of her mother

MissBlossom

curious Did you ever ask your mother about her values? For example what her idea is about masturbation? Does she think it should be allowed or should a belt be used to make self gratification impossible for the wearer?

When I asked about this, Christine said

Christine MissBlossom and ask if that's something that she feels she needs.

I don't want to go so far yet.

Christine

curious Did you ever ask your mother about her values?

No, we didn't discuss masturbation and so on.

Angelina as a former "victim" of your mother

I don't feel like a "victim".

Angelina are now the right key holder, it can put you in an emotionally difficult situation

It's her choice after all.

curious

Angelina @Christine had to wear the belt 24/7, I think that explains the position of her mother

Might be. But it might also be that denying her self pleasure was meant as punishment for whatever her mother thought she did wrong. We just don't know.

But if you are right and complete chastity without breaks for masturbation really reflects @Christine 's mothers values, then as a keyholder Christine should actually enforce these values instead of taking the more relaxed approach she has taken so far. After all, the belt in this case should actually help her mother live up to her own standards and not just to what Chrstine thinks is right.b

Angelina

curious Might be. But it might also be that denying her self pleasure was meant as punishment for whatever her mother thought she did wrong. We just don't know.

the question is as punishment for what? getting divorced? better than living in an unhappy marriage. because she married early and was not mature enough? maybe, but she probably loved the man very much in the past. because she was financially dependent? can be, but better to live with the mother again than on the streets

MissBlossom

curious

Here's the reason her mom gave a while ago.

Christine Orgasm without a relationship e.g masturbation leads to bad girl behavior.

Owl

We must always reflect on the long time of (what I, as outsider, might call highly questionable) interactions within Christine's family: With other singles, above all her mother, apparently not following their own high standards, while Christine was openly portrayed negatively.

If I try to imagine that:

Other family members with same relationship situation, but not belted, not living chastely, even randomly sexing around, ...
while I - being convinced I could actually live chastely (whether a delusion or for real is different topic) - were the one put under pressure to wear and were made to look silly (about my past, my attitude, or whatever) in front of the above same family members for months and years.

I think resentment was a rather logical consequence. And it might take long and considerable steps to improve the overall situation.

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