Christine That's why I'm here and your advises are very useful.

I'm very happy to hear that. Often I find it hard to judge if advice is welcomed, and if I should continue with what I started, or if that would only lead to frustration.
You seemed to have lost hope that you could get out of your current situation; have our tips helped you see more hope again, and have gotten you more active? I read you are actively looking for a relation now; are you also more active in trying to improve your own financial situation?
In the end it is often best to go into a relationship from a stable situation: if you feel you need the relation to get you out of your current situation, you'll feel dependent on him, which isn't good to start a balanced relation (if that is what you are looking for), and could leave you feel trapped in the relation, if the only alternative would be to move back in with mother and belt.
So I would advise to first get your independence, and then a relationship,. But of course if you don't see a way to reach that independence now, you might fall back on starting a relationship and hope for the best.

      carg So I would advise to first get your independence, and then a relationship,.

      i would disagree. of course it can lead her back into dependency on a man, but it's all about ambition and motivation. she needs to have the motivation to fight her way out of her current life. i find it scary that her mother doesn't support this and a new partner could even have a positive effect and give her new motivation.

      • carg replied to this.

          Angelina

          Yes, it is not easy to decide what would be best for Christine here, and you raise valid points. I have been thinking hard on the advice I gave, because of this.
          In the end my fear of her exchanging one unhappy situation for another made me decide to advise first for independence, but I compromised by saying that if that would take too long, it might be better just to go for a relation anyway.

          Every relation has a power balance, even though I don't like that phrase, because it suggests there is a struggle where both parties try to gain as much power as they can, and that is not always the case. But each partner in an equal relationship needs to find a balance between complaining about everything they don't like, and just accepting everything. When you get a little more experience in relationships, you (can) learn which things are not that important to you, and which things will lead to serious problems later if you don't address them now. A trivial example: for some people the color of the couch is not that important, and they quickly give in if their partner wants another color, and for others each time they would see that couch they feel a little frustration that the color is wrong.) When you go into a relationship with fear that if it doesn't work out, you'd have to fall back to the current unhappy situation, it is harder to stand up for yourself. And even if the partner is not intent on gaining the upper hand, it will be natural to just do it their own way, and fill that power gap.
          Once the power balance in a relationship is established, it is hard to change it: the partner has to be willing to give up part of the power, and both parties need to work hard not to fall back into the established behaviour patterns.

          So, my point is that going into a relationship that way has disadvantages, but that is not to say that it can't work out. If you are aware of the risk of giving in too easily, you can fight the impulse; if the partner is kind (s)he can actively ask for your opinion, if both are willing they can shift the power balance later, ...

              carg

              i understood your concerns and arguments, i even share them a bit, but i had to disagree because i have had other experiences with my girlfriend. she helps me so much when i am feeling bad, she supports me when i am desperate again and she gives me the motivation to face the situation and the discussions with my father. @Christine could get the same support if she finds a partner who supports her to live independently again.

                  carg if you feel you need the relation to get you out of your current situation, you'll feel dependent on him, which isn't good to start a balanced relation

                  I agree.

                  It would not be a wise decision.

                  Angelina

                  But in your case,your relationship was not to be more free,but because you fall in love.

                  If @Christine starts a relationship only to be free of her chastity belt,it could easily be very different.

                        Hi all

                        Apologies for the delay - here is my update.

                        Things have been more or less the same for me regarding chastity. I live at home still and with that comes certain 'underwear' as you know LOL.

                        I have a job now in a bar, not enough to move out just yet but am saving up. As I need to wear pants there, dad removes thighbands but back on once home again

                        I am still with my gf and she knows about my gear now. she thinks its wierd dad locks me but also kinda hot that i can only focus on her pleasure not mine (go figure)

                        She has met my dad and he likes her which is a good thing so things are well all things considered

                          Angelina did she at least address the fact that it makes you unhappy

                          She knows it.

                          Angelina does she motivate you to manage your life again yourself?

                          Ofc.

                          Vanessa Ok,I hope you find a new boyfriend soon,so!

                          Me too.

                          carg are you also more active in trying to improve your own financial situation?

                          This part is more important.

                          Angelina could get the same support if she finds a partner who supports her to live independently again

                          Less likely.

                          Vanessa If @Christine starts a relationship only to be free of her chastity belt,it could easily be very different.

                          And get it back after? I need a long term solution.

                                        Vanessa If @Christine starts a relationship only to be free of her chastity belt,it could easily be very different.

                                        it is not only about the belt, the belt would be a consequence of the "new life force" and a partner can motivate and support this. 🙂

                                        saras

                                        thanks for the update, glad you are doing well and still with your girlfriend 🙂 glad you have a job and are saving money 🙂

                                        can't you live with your girlfriend ?

                                        then she should also be interested in you staying happy, currently it seems to me that this is not the case enough. 🙂

                                        Christine And get it back after? I need a long term solution.

                                        i mean of course a long term relationship, you should not be with someone you do not love

                                                  saras Things have been more or less the same for me regarding chastity. I live at home still and with that comes certain 'underwear' as you know LOL.

                                                  Sorry for you!

                                                  saras I have a job now in a bar, not enough to move out just yet but am saving up.

                                                  When do you think you would have enough money to live on your own?

                                                  saras I am still with my gf and she knows about my gear now.

                                                  Good!🙂

                                                  saras kinda hot that i can only focus on her pleasure not mine

                                                  Do you think she may ask you to continue wearing it?

                                                  saras She has met my dad

                                                  Technically,he had already met her during the holidays,right?

                                                  Christine This part is more important.

                                                  More than a new boyfriend?

                                                  Christine And get it back after? I need a long term solution.

                                                  Yes.

                                                  I don't think it would be a good solution.

                                                  Angelina can't you live with your girlfriend ?

                                                  It would be surprising,they don't date since a long time.

                                                                    Vanessa It would be surprising,they don't date since a long time.

                                                                    yes, admittedly it is not very long, but they seem to be very much in love and it would help her to be able to escape from the equipment at least for the time being 😉

                                                                        Vanessa Even if in love,it is rare to live together so quickly.

                                                                        that's right, maybe you can also arrange it with a room of her own, if there is enough space.

                                                                            Angelina currently it seems to me that this is not the case enough

                                                                            Right.

                                                                            Angelina you should not be with someone you do not love

                                                                            Or keep wearing a belt with someone you love.

                                                                            Vanessa More than a new boyfriend?

                                                                            If I had enough money I wouldn't need a new boyfriend.

                                                                                    Christine Or keep wearing a belt with someone you love.

                                                                                    If you do not want to continue wearing the belt in the relationship, he has to accept that.

                                                                                    Christine Right.

                                                                                    as i said before your mother should care more about your happiness. that doesn't have to mean that she gives up the belt, but she should want to talk to you about when you are feeling bad and how you can become independent again.

                                                                                          Angelina

                                                                                          It would be close to living together.

                                                                                          Christine Or keep wearing a belt with someone you love.

                                                                                          Totally right....

                                                                                          I know it well...🙁

                                                                                          But it is not your case,presently,so not an argument you could use.

                                                                                          Christine If I had enough money I wouldn't need a new boyfriend.

                                                                                          Getting both would be better!🙂

                                                                                          Angelina If you do not want to continue wearing the belt in the relationship, he has to accept that.

                                                                                          I think she meant having to wear her belt even if she has a new boyfriend,as long as she lives in her mother's house.

                                                                                                    Vanessa It would be close to living together.

                                                                                                    yes, but so that everyone still has some private space

                                                                                                    Vanessa Getting both would be better!🙂

                                                                                                    I agree 🙂

                                                                                                    Vanessa I think she meant having to wear her belt even if she has a new boyfriend,as long as she lives in her mother's house.

                                                                                                    ah ok, yes i assume that, but then there are two options. either to accept it or to try to live together.

                                                                                                          Angelina If you do not want to continue wearing the belt in the relationship, he has to accept that.

                                                                                                          Two different issues.

                                                                                                          Angelina and how you can become independent again.

                                                                                                          She can't help with it.

                                                                                                          Vanessa Getting both would be better!

                                                                                                          But I wouldn't depend on him.

                                                                                                                  Christine She can't help with it.

                                                                                                                  maybe not materially but psychologically. by the belt she rather strengthens the dependency. i would suggest a deal. the belt as long as you live with her, but she tries everything so that you don't live with her longer than necessary.

                                                                                                                      Vanessa When do you think you would have enough money to live on your own?

                                                                                                                      I am not sure yet, especially with covid uncertainty

                                                                                                                      Vanessa Do you think she may ask you to continue wearing it?

                                                                                                                      I hope not!!!

                                                                                                                      Vanessa Technically,he had already met her during the holidays,right?

                                                                                                                      Yes but only in passing, it is 'formal now'

                                                                                                                      Angelina yes, admittedly it is not very long, but they seem to be very much in love and it would help her to be able to escape from the equipment at least for the time being

                                                                                                                      It is only te start of the relationship and we are not ready yet for that

                                                                                                                                Angelina but she tries everything so that you don't live with her longer than necessary.

                                                                                                                                Well, if she pays my rent she will also require the belt.