Single again chastity

Saintprudence For instance, keeping Goody belted has started to reinforce the idea in me that masturbation really is a sin and should be prohibited.

actually i was hoping for the opposite. i thought this one year would help you learn to deal with masturbation and orgasms in a healthy way again, sounds like you are even more against it now.

Sara2001 Yes, she hasn't done anything wrong. He quitted for his own (understandable but unfair and egoistic) reasons.

it just shows that he wasn't the right one. if he can't accept that, then he didn't love her 100%. I hope your sister finds a new partner soon is there an update on what's going on after her 18th birthday? does she stay in the belt?

Christine No, but it could be a nightmare.

do you really think so? I think there are ways that that can also be a good thing, even if of course he has to accept it if you don't want it

Saintprudence On some level I think you agree, since you still wear the belt.

I don't think so @Christine wears the belt so that she can continue to live with her mother

Angelina actually i was hoping for the opposite. i thought this one year would help you learn to deal with masturbation and orgasms in a healthy way again, sounds like you are even more against it now.

I’m working a lot on that with a therapist. Because I’m torn between my dominant and submissive, religious and rebellious sides, he’s suggested I give each one some time “in control” and see what feels right. Putting on my dominant religious face recently is one thing that got me to post here again. I wanted to see how I felt actually expressing these ideas. It’s already serving a purpose. In a vacuum, I can say “obviously masturbation must be prevented,” but in the face of those who must live with it, such as you and Jen, that attitude is not as strong.

Angelina I don't think so @Christine wears the belt so that she can continue to live with her mother

This is an example of how I’m pulled in both directions. One part of me wants to reply: “it’s madness that she would make such a demand and you should not accept.” Another part (maybe the strongest part at the moment) wants to say, “clearly she cares for you and wants to prevent permissive and immoral behavior, and you should respect that.” Yet another part (and this is a very American part of me) wishes to say “you’re well into your 20s and still live with your mother, clearly you need to be belted and kept in line until you get your life together.” All these sides are in conflict.

Saintprudence I'm conflicted too. Saying others should be free to masturbate - yeah I'm part jealous - I don't even know why I'm doing this sometimes.
But like it's different - encouraging thought about what you want from life is so different to saying you have to wear this thing to live here.

Jen I struggle with that a lot, too. It’s why I don’t advise you much on your circumstance; I’m too close to it. I’d have worn a belt to college if asked. I almost wish I had been asked or told. So when I’m inclined to urge you to stay in the belt now that it’s tough, I’m not sure if I’m talking to you or younger me.

Saintprudence this forum made me think a lot but it's still my thoughts

Christine No, but it could be a nightmare.

Inconvenience maybe? nightmare No!

Sara2001 Yes, she hasn't done anything wrong. He quitted for his own (understandable but unfair and egoistic) reasons.

What reasons? Why the secrecy? Did he even break up with your sister or did someone else get involved : (

Angelina it just shows that he wasn't the right one. if he can't accept that, then he didn't love her 100%. I hope your sister finds a new partner soon is there an update on what's going on after her 18th birthday? does she stay in the belt?

Me, too. Regarding what happens after her 18th birthday it's a constant up and down. Currently I think she will quit wearing the belt on her birthday and will think about her time at the university from her birthday on. I think she wants to know how it is not to wear a belt before she can decide if she is able to wear the belt for an appointment.

Sara2001 I think she wants to know how it is not to wear a belt before she can decide if she is able to wear the belt for an appointment.

This is a good approach to form an opinion. Get to know both sides.

Angelina i can understand that, but i hope it won't last forever. it's good that you are getting psychological help, i think you should work through your past and regain a healthy attitude.

Thank you. I really do feel I’m getting there!

Angelina i agree with this part, but i think it doesn't help anyone. anyone who lives in chastity against their will will never have the positive attitude towards chastity that you have.

You’re quite correct. That attitude is entirely my mother talking, and me trying to come to terms with her voice in me. I essentially lived in chastity against my will; it’s just that the belt was mental and not physical. Deep down, I think my affinity for wearing a steel belt is that it’s easier to take off than a psychological belt!

Saintprudence I think my affinity for wearing a steel belt is that it’s easier to take off than a psychological belt!

of course you can put on and take off the belt yourself (or at least your key holder), but you can only take off the psychological belt by changing your own attitudes. i think you are on the right track, but continue to be careful.

Angelina that doesn't sound so bad, so she can compare the different situations. i think the question will be whether she will be willing to return to the belt in exchange for your father's services, if your father then still wants it at all.

My father would prefer if she wears it but will not force her. But he offers her to pay for her own apartment when she agrees to wear her chastity belt when not at home.

Otherwise he would prefer if she lives at home until she has finished her education.

Sara2001 he would prefer

Does it mean she can decide freely and he will not force her to one or the other option?

Saintprudence Would that be so bad?

A chastity belt for good? Yes, it is bad.

Saintprudence I was raised extremely Catholic to believe that masturbation and any sexual contact outside of marriage are sins.

But I'm not a Catholic.

Saintprudence My own mother would have all kinds of harsh words for you being divorced

And wants me to stay belted because of this?

Saintprudence Mother-in-law would urge you to stay belted on general principle; she’s a big fan of women accepting husbands as lawful biblical authority.

Do you mean Goody's mother?

Angelina do you really think so?

Yes, coz it's against my wish.

Megan Inconvenience maybe?

What kind of inconvenience?

Christine I found some of my answers going to the early parts of this thread (three years old!) It’s amusing in a grim way that both Laura and your mother said what either of my moms would agree with: you haven’t got sexual freedom after divorce.

Laura That sounds right for me. Your mom is wise, you haven't got sexual freedom after divorce

This line got me really thinking, especially in light of my recent attempts to reconcile the different elements of my own personality. There’s an inherent sort of sexism in “traditional” chastity, in that it’s primarily authority figures seeking to limit female sexuality. And I’ve absorbed part of that, you know? The fact I belted Goody and that I honestly kind of feel like it’s “right” is evidence of that. It’s a big difference between my two moms. My mother was hyper-fixated on sexuality, period, and was equally terrified of both men and women masturbating. And since, pre-transition, I was a bit of a mama’s boy (no surprise there), I picked up on some of that.

Mother-in-law, Goody’s mom, is more “traditional female” that way. She deep down believes that women should be controlled more closely than men, and that men need to do the controlling in marriages. (Hilariously, her husband is the farthest thing from controlling.) She approves of the idea of women in chastity belts and wishes she’d known of it sooner, and definitely would agree that a divorced woman should be denied sexual freedom and belted until she can find a man. Permanently, if need be. (Which, for Laura and Christine and Renita, may end up being the case!)

Ironically, ever since transitioning to female, I’ve absorbed more of that side of the equation and felt a need to be “controlled” that didn’t really exist when I was presenting as male. And once I was out of the belt, I readily adapted to belting Goody. And the idea of keeping her belted for the rest of her life is — well, I’m not committed to it, but it keeps popping up in my brain, you know?

I’m not sure about what all this means. But I think about it a lot.