Saintprudence For instance, keeping Goody belted has started to reinforce the idea in me that masturbation really is a sin and should be prohibited.
I still don't see it as a sin and saying like "should be prohibited" gets me angry - it's just like the whole thing with my mum I want to pretend never happened.
Why can't people see the value of chastity like what you get for yourself and what you'll have with your partner - like it's all positive!
Jen part of my problem is that I was raised deeply Catholic and the more I study Catholicism again, the more this nagging voice at the back of my mind starts to believe it. Catholicism creates a sense of perfect certainty that I find very attractive; it’s no wonder people get sucked into it so easily, as an alternative to a messy, messed-up world. The simplicity is comforting, even if it’s “masturbation is bad and you shouldn’t do it,” or its more dangerous cousin, “masturbation is bad and you shouldn’t let anyone do it.” It’s so tempting to just give up and give in to the authority of the belt, whether it’s wearing it as I once did or keyholding as I do now.
Religious beliefs and anti-masturbation are so strongly held that I’m surprised there aren’t more people like your mom. As it stands, the world is deeply opposed to any mature understanding of masturbation as it is.
Saintprudence For instance, keeping Goody belted has started to reinforce the idea in me that masturbation really is a sin and should be prohibited.
actually i was hoping for the opposite. i thought this one year would help you learn to deal with masturbation and orgasms in a healthy way again, sounds like you are even more against it now. 
Sara2001 Yes, she hasn't done anything wrong. He quitted for his own (understandable but unfair and egoistic) reasons.
it just shows that he wasn't the right one. if he can't accept that, then he didn't love her 100%. I hope your sister finds a new partner soon 
is there an update on what's going on after her 18th birthday? does she stay in the belt?
Christine No, but it could be a nightmare.
do you really think so? I think there are ways that that can also be a good thing, even if of course he has to accept it if you don't want it
Saintprudence On some level I think you agree, since you still wear the belt.
I don't think so @Christine wears the belt so that she can continue to live with her mother
Angelina actually i was hoping for the opposite. i thought this one year would help you learn to deal with masturbation and orgasms in a healthy way again, sounds like you are even more against it now.
I’m working a lot on that with a therapist. Because I’m torn between my dominant and submissive, religious and rebellious sides, he’s suggested I give each one some time “in control” and see what feels right. Putting on my dominant religious face recently is one thing that got me to post here again. I wanted to see how I felt actually expressing these ideas. It’s already serving a purpose. In a vacuum, I can say “obviously masturbation must be prevented,” but in the face of those who must live with it, such as you and Jen, that attitude is not as strong.
Angelina I don't think so @Christine wears the belt so that she can continue to live with her mother
This is an example of how I’m pulled in both directions. One part of me wants to reply: “it’s madness that she would make such a demand and you should not accept.” Another part (maybe the strongest part at the moment) wants to say, “clearly she cares for you and wants to prevent permissive and immoral behavior, and you should respect that.” Yet another part (and this is a very American part of me) wishes to say “you’re well into your 20s and still live with your mother, clearly you need to be belted and kept in line until you get your life together.” All these sides are in conflict.
Saintprudence I'm conflicted too. Saying others should be free to masturbate - yeah I'm part jealous - I don't even know why I'm doing this sometimes.
But like it's different - encouraging thought about what you want from life is so different to saying you have to wear this thing to live here.
Jen I struggle with that a lot, too. It’s why I don’t advise you much on your circumstance; I’m too close to it. I’d have worn a belt to college if asked. I almost wish I had been asked or told. So when I’m inclined to urge you to stay in the belt now that it’s tough, I’m not sure if I’m talking to you or younger me.
Saintprudence this forum made me think a lot but it's still my thoughts 
Angelina it just shows that he wasn't the right one. if he can't accept that, then he didn't love her 100%. I hope your sister finds a new partner soon
Me, too. Regarding what happens after her 18th birthday it's a constant up and down. Currently I think she will quit wearing the belt on her birthday and will think about her time at the university from her birthday on. I think she wants to know how it is not to wear a belt before she can decide if she is able to wear the belt for an appointment.
Saintprudence I’m working a lot on that with a therapist. Because I’m torn between my dominant and submissive, religious and rebellious sides, he’s suggested I give each one some time “in control” and see what feels right. Putting on my dominant religious face recently is one thing that got me to post here again. I wanted to see how I felt actually expressing these ideas. It’s already serving a purpose. In a vacuum, I can say “obviously masturbation must be prevented,” but in the face of those who must live with it, such as you and Jen, that attitude is not as strong.
i can understand that, but i hope it won't last forever. it's good that you are getting psychological help, i think you should work through your past and regain a healthy attitude.
Saintprudence “you’re well into your 20s and still live with your mother, clearly you need to be belted and kept in line until you get your life together.” All these sides are in conflict.
i agree with this part, but i think it doesn't help anyone. anyone who lives in chastity against their will will never have the positive attitude towards chastity that you have. it would be right if it was on a voluntary basis. but i can understand that you have a lot of conflicts in your mind about the subject.
Sara2001 Me, too. Regarding what happens after her 18th birthday it's a constant up and down. Currently I think she will quit wearing the belt on her birthday and will think about her time at the university from her birthday on. I think she wants to know how it is not to wear a belt before she can decide if she is able to wear the belt for an appointment.
that doesn't sound so bad, so she can compare the different situations. i think the question will be whether she will be willing to return to the belt in exchange for your father's services, if your father then still wants it at all.
Angelina i can understand that, but i hope it won't last forever. it's good that you are getting psychological help, i think you should work through your past and regain a healthy attitude.
Thank you. I really do feel I’m getting there!
Angelina i agree with this part, but i think it doesn't help anyone. anyone who lives in chastity against their will will never have the positive attitude towards chastity that you have.
You’re quite correct. That attitude is entirely my mother talking, and me trying to come to terms with her voice in me. I essentially lived in chastity against my will; it’s just that the belt was mental and not physical. Deep down, I think my affinity for wearing a steel belt is that it’s easier to take off than a psychological belt!
Saintprudence I think my affinity for wearing a steel belt is that it’s easier to take off than a psychological belt!
of course you can put on and take off the belt yourself (or at least your key holder), but you can only take off the psychological belt by changing your own attitudes. i think you are on the right track, but continue to be careful.
Angelina that doesn't sound so bad, so she can compare the different situations. i think the question will be whether she will be willing to return to the belt in exchange for your father's services, if your father then still wants it at all.
My father would prefer if she wears it but will not force her. But he offers her to pay for her own apartment when she agrees to wear her chastity belt when not at home.
Otherwise he would prefer if she lives at home until she has finished her education.
Saintprudence Would that be so bad?
A chastity belt for good? Yes, it is bad.
Saintprudence I was raised extremely Catholic to believe that masturbation and any sexual contact outside of marriage are sins.
But I'm not a Catholic.
Saintprudence My own mother would have all kinds of harsh words for you being divorced
And wants me to stay belted because of this?
Saintprudence Mother-in-law would urge you to stay belted on general principle; she’s a big fan of women accepting husbands as lawful biblical authority.
Do you mean Goody's mother?
Angelina do you really think so?
Yes, coz it's against my wish.
Megan Inconvenience maybe?
What kind of inconvenience?
A chastity belt for good? Yes, it is bad.
I can appreciate that. You’ve accepted your belting for now but it seems that permanent wearing would be a deal-breaker for you.
But I'm not a Catholic.
I forget - what is your mother’s motivation for belting you? Is it strictly about preventing sex it is it opposition to masturbation as well? Is she religious?
And wants me to stay belted because of this?
Yes. Through my therapy, I’ve come to realize my late mother was a control freak who took it personally when anyone has a moral code different than hers. If she had the opportunity to enforce chastity, I do believe she would have held that single and divorced women should be kept belted by parents or authority figures until they can be married off. (“Married off” is definitely a term she used!) She would consider a belt to be a necessity for unmarried women and an inherent punishment for divorcees.
Do you mean Goody's mother?
Correct. She’s really big on male authority, like many women of her generation, and honestly feels the husband should be in charge. She’s recently admitted that although she accepts me as a daughter as a trans woman, she still thinks the fact I “used to be male” makes me an ideal authority figure for Goody’s natural rebelliousness.
Christine I found some of my answers going to the early parts of this thread (three years old!) It’s amusing in a grim way that both Laura and your mother said what either of my moms would agree with: you haven’t got sexual freedom after divorce.
