This has been a really good insight into the thought-exercise my therapist assigned me to understand my inner religious authoritarian: what would that person say in this situation? How would I feel about saying it?
And here’s the response to Christine I started to write when adopting that “version” of me. But it turns out I can’t commit all the way to being that person, even as an exercise. I can think these things but the resolve falls apart as soon as a real-world person’s future is at stake.
…
“The truth is, your mom is going to great lengths to protect your virtue and you should be grateful for it. You’re a divorced woman and that means your sexual freedom absolutely should be limited. You shouldn’t be able to touch yourself and you definitely shouldn’t be sleeping around. Both of those things are essentially stealing from your future spouse. And with all that in mind, you shouldn’t object to wearing it at all! Instead of trying to find ways out of the belt, you should be searching for the right man your mother approves of handing the keys over to, and you shouldn’t put a hard limit on whether he gives you back the keys or not. Or, if you don’t want to marry, prepare yourself for long-term belting. There’s a place in the world for you and you’re right where you need to be. Accept it and offer it up rather than fighting it.”
…
But I can’t encourage someone to be that complicit in their own unwilling chastity — in their own abuse, really. I suppose I’m not that much of a religious authoritarian after all. My mother and mother-in-law would both post that response without hesitation. And a part of me does believe every word - the same part that worries I’ll go to hell for being a trans lesbian.
But over here, I feel a little bad even posting it with all these qualifiers! I might be able to encourage a willing or reluctantly belted woman, but not someone so truly opposed to it.
