This has been a really good insight into the thought-exercise my therapist assigned me to understand my inner religious authoritarian: what would that person say in this situation? How would I feel about saying it?

And here’s the response to Christine I started to write when adopting that “version” of me. But it turns out I can’t commit all the way to being that person, even as an exercise. I can think these things but the resolve falls apart as soon as a real-world person’s future is at stake.

…
“The truth is, your mom is going to great lengths to protect your virtue and you should be grateful for it. You’re a divorced woman and that means your sexual freedom absolutely should be limited. You shouldn’t be able to touch yourself and you definitely shouldn’t be sleeping around. Both of those things are essentially stealing from your future spouse. And with all that in mind, you shouldn’t object to wearing it at all! Instead of trying to find ways out of the belt, you should be searching for the right man your mother approves of handing the keys over to, and you shouldn’t put a hard limit on whether he gives you back the keys or not. Or, if you don’t want to marry, prepare yourself for long-term belting. There’s a place in the world for you and you’re right where you need to be. Accept it and offer it up rather than fighting it.”

…
But I can’t encourage someone to be that complicit in their own unwilling chastity — in their own abuse, really. I suppose I’m not that much of a religious authoritarian after all. My mother and mother-in-law would both post that response without hesitation. And a part of me does believe every word - the same part that worries I’ll go to hell for being a trans lesbian.

But over here, I feel a little bad even posting it with all these qualifiers! I might be able to encourage a willing or reluctantly belted woman, but not someone so truly opposed to it.

Saintprudence and definitely would agree that a divorced woman should be denied sexual freedom and belted until she can find a man

I agree, otherwise she can become a slut easily.

      Joh Does it mean she can decide freely and he will not force her to one or the other option?

      Yes, but he will not pay for the apartment if it is not absolutely necessary and she doesn't plan to study far away because she doesn't want to loose contact to her family and all of her friends.

        Renita they would love that you have the “correct” view of chastity and happily keyhold for you. Maybe even bake you cookies.

            Kris Both my moms are (well, were in one case) very lovable people when they’re not lecturing about religion!

              Sara2001 My father would prefer if she wears it but will not force her. But he offers her to pay for her own apartment when she agrees to wear her chastity belt when not at home.

              Otherwise he would prefer if she lives at home until she has finished her education.

              difficult, i can somehow understand both positions. i hope that a solution can be found, i can't give any advice, i would at least have to know how big and valuable the flat would be. 😉

              Saintprudence you haven’t got sexual freedom after divorce.

              this is actually absolutely wrong, through divorce you achieve sexual freedom because you are no longer committed to a partner you no longer love.

              Renita I agree, otherwise she can become a slut easily.

              Saintprudence both my moms would adopt you if they could, Renita!

              interesting, if what @Renita says is true, then the mothers are not the lighthouse role model. if a girl has been educated sensibly, she will not become a slut even after the divorce, but if she does, the mothers should not be key holders because they have educated their daughters irresponsibly. (just my opinion)

                        Angelina hmm. Your logic is quite sound. It stands to reason that an adult woman who can’t be trusted without a belt was not raised right.

                        Mind you, the Catholic perspective is that nobody can be trusted to refrain from sinful acts—ergo that no divorced woman should be free of the belt. This logic is why Catholicism has so many forcing mechanisms! A belt is only a very physical embodiment of the guilt-based control it already employs.

                            Angelina but if she does, the mothers should not be key holders because they have educated their daughters irresponsibly

                            There might be no other possible keyholders, so she is better than nobody.

                                Saintprudence It stands to reason that an adult woman who can’t be trusted without a belt was not raised right.

                                Well it means something is wrong.

                                Saintprudence the Catholic perspective is that nobody can be trusted to refrain from sinful acts—ergo that no divorced woman should be free of the belt.

                                Maybe in your country, but not in mine.

                                Saintprudence This logic is why Catholicism has so many forcing mechanisms!

                                Please tell us what these are.

                                Saintprudence A belt is only a very physical embodiment of the guilt-based control it already employs.

                                Well then one shouldn't wear one.

                                          Avery Please tell us what these are.

                                          Guilt, authoritarianism, fear of hell, telling people that they are born full of sin and only the church can save them, teaching people that they literally speak with the voice of god. Also the guilt.

                                              Saintprudence I forget - what is your mother’s motivation for belting you?

                                              Coz she has discovered modern chastity belts.

                                              Saintprudence She would consider a belt to be a necessity for unmarried women and an inherent punishment for divorcees.

                                              My mom thinks so too.

                                                    Christine Coz she has discovered modern chastity belts.

                                                    It would appear that from at least one point of view, she is using them correctly.

                                                        Saintprudence Guilt, authoritarianism, fear of hell, telling people that they are born full of sin and only the church can save them, teaching people that they literally speak with the voice of god. Also the guilt.

                                                        I gather you don't actually go to mass.

                                                            Avery I would venture to say that I have gone to more masses than you.

                                                            I will admit that I am not hearing the guilt preached from the pulpit as much as I used to, but c’mon, you understand that “Catholic guilt” is a thing, yes? And that the concept of original sin teaches that we are literally born with our souls already sullied by sin?

                                                                Saintprudence I would venture to say that I have gone to more masses than you.

                                                                Since you are more than twice my age this is probably true.

                                                                Saintprudence I will admit that I am not hearing the guilt preached from the pulpit as much as I used to, but c’mon, you understand that “Catholic guilt” is a thing, yes?

                                                                Maybe to old timers like you. Until last August it never kept me from fooling around with guys.

                                                                Saintprudence And that the concept of original sin teaches that we are literally born with our souls already sullied by sin?

                                                                And that that does not make us sinners since we have done nothing to deserve that sin.

                                                                        Avery Maybe to old timers like you. Until last August it never kept me from fooling around with guys.

                                                                        Maybe the guilt was just more effective on me! I barely even masturbated in college because of the power of the guilt. And when I did give in to the temptation, I was a wreck for days. Hence my frequent refrain that I genuinely wish I had been belted for college — it would have been easier to deal with than the guilt.

                                                                        Avery And that that does not make us sinners since we have done nothing to deserve that sin.

                                                                        Haha, okay, then we have DEFINITELY gone to different churches!

                                                                        It probably helps that Pope Francis, for several years, has preached a more loving and less punishing version of the church.