Saintprudence Would that be so bad?

A chastity belt for good? Yes, it is bad.

Saintprudence I was raised extremely Catholic to believe that masturbation and any sexual contact outside of marriage are sins.

But I'm not a Catholic.

Saintprudence My own mother would have all kinds of harsh words for you being divorced

And wants me to stay belted because of this?

Saintprudence Mother-in-law would urge you to stay belted on general principle; she’s a big fan of women accepting husbands as lawful biblical authority.

Do you mean Goody's mother?

Angelina do you really think so?

Yes, coz it's against my wish.

Megan Inconvenience maybe?

What kind of inconvenience?

                Christine

                A chastity belt for good? Yes, it is bad.

                I can appreciate that. You’ve accepted your belting for now but it seems that permanent wearing would be a deal-breaker for you.

                Christine

                But I'm not a Catholic.

                I forget - what is your mother’s motivation for belting you? Is it strictly about preventing sex it is it opposition to masturbation as well? Is she religious?

                Christine

                And wants me to stay belted because of this?

                Yes. Through my therapy, I’ve come to realize my late mother was a control freak who took it personally when anyone has a moral code different than hers. If she had the opportunity to enforce chastity, I do believe she would have held that single and divorced women should be kept belted by parents or authority figures until they can be married off. (“Married off” is definitely a term she used!) She would consider a belt to be a necessity for unmarried women and an inherent punishment for divorcees.

                Christine

                Do you mean Goody's mother?

                Correct. She’s really big on male authority, like many women of her generation, and honestly feels the husband should be in charge. She’s recently admitted that although she accepts me as a daughter as a trans woman, she still thinks the fact I “used to be male” makes me an ideal authority figure for Goody’s natural rebelliousness.

                          Christine I found some of my answers going to the early parts of this thread (three years old!) It’s amusing in a grim way that both Laura and your mother said what either of my moms would agree with: you haven’t got sexual freedom after divorce.

                              Laura That sounds right for me. Your mom is wise, you haven't got sexual freedom after divorce

                              This line got me really thinking, especially in light of my recent attempts to reconcile the different elements of my own personality. There’s an inherent sort of sexism in “traditional” chastity, in that it’s primarily authority figures seeking to limit female sexuality. And I’ve absorbed part of that, you know? The fact I belted Goody and that I honestly kind of feel like it’s “right” is evidence of that. It’s a big difference between my two moms. My mother was hyper-fixated on sexuality, period, and was equally terrified of both men and women masturbating. And since, pre-transition, I was a bit of a mama’s boy (no surprise there), I picked up on some of that.

                              Mother-in-law, Goody’s mom, is more “traditional female” that way. She deep down believes that women should be controlled more closely than men, and that men need to do the controlling in marriages. (Hilariously, her husband is the farthest thing from controlling.) She approves of the idea of women in chastity belts and wishes she’d known of it sooner, and definitely would agree that a divorced woman should be denied sexual freedom and belted until she can find a man. Permanently, if need be. (Which, for Laura and Christine and Renita, may end up being the case!)

                              Ironically, ever since transitioning to female, I’ve absorbed more of that side of the equation and felt a need to be “controlled” that didn’t really exist when I was presenting as male. And once I was out of the belt, I readily adapted to belting Goody. And the idea of keeping her belted for the rest of her life is — well, I’m not committed to it, but it keeps popping up in my brain, you know?

                              I’m not sure about what all this means. But I think about it a lot.

                                  Saintprudence And the idea of keeping her belted for the rest of her life is — well, I’m not committed to it, but it keeps popping up in my brain, you know?

                                  You should mention it to her mother 😂

                                      Laura You should mention it to her mother 😂

                                      Her mom would be on board with just Goody belted, or both of us belted permanently! But mom isn’t the sticking point there 🤣.

                                        This has been a really good insight into the thought-exercise my therapist assigned me to understand my inner religious authoritarian: what would that person say in this situation? How would I feel about saying it?

                                        And here’s the response to Christine I started to write when adopting that “version” of me. But it turns out I can’t commit all the way to being that person, even as an exercise. I can think these things but the resolve falls apart as soon as a real-world person’s future is at stake.

                                        …
                                        “The truth is, your mom is going to great lengths to protect your virtue and you should be grateful for it. You’re a divorced woman and that means your sexual freedom absolutely should be limited. You shouldn’t be able to touch yourself and you definitely shouldn’t be sleeping around. Both of those things are essentially stealing from your future spouse. And with all that in mind, you shouldn’t object to wearing it at all! Instead of trying to find ways out of the belt, you should be searching for the right man your mother approves of handing the keys over to, and you shouldn’t put a hard limit on whether he gives you back the keys or not. Or, if you don’t want to marry, prepare yourself for long-term belting. There’s a place in the world for you and you’re right where you need to be. Accept it and offer it up rather than fighting it.”

                                        …
                                        But I can’t encourage someone to be that complicit in their own unwilling chastity — in their own abuse, really. I suppose I’m not that much of a religious authoritarian after all. My mother and mother-in-law would both post that response without hesitation. And a part of me does believe every word - the same part that worries I’ll go to hell for being a trans lesbian.

                                        But over here, I feel a little bad even posting it with all these qualifiers! I might be able to encourage a willing or reluctantly belted woman, but not someone so truly opposed to it.

                                        Saintprudence and definitely would agree that a divorced woman should be denied sexual freedom and belted until she can find a man

                                        I agree, otherwise she can become a slut easily.

                                            Joh Does it mean she can decide freely and he will not force her to one or the other option?

                                            Yes, but he will not pay for the apartment if it is not absolutely necessary and she doesn't plan to study far away because she doesn't want to loose contact to her family and all of her friends.

                                              Renita they would love that you have the “correct” view of chastity and happily keyhold for you. Maybe even bake you cookies.

                                                  Kris Both my moms are (well, were in one case) very lovable people when they’re not lecturing about religion!

                                                    Sara2001 My father would prefer if she wears it but will not force her. But he offers her to pay for her own apartment when she agrees to wear her chastity belt when not at home.

                                                    Otherwise he would prefer if she lives at home until she has finished her education.

                                                    difficult, i can somehow understand both positions. i hope that a solution can be found, i can't give any advice, i would at least have to know how big and valuable the flat would be. 😉

                                                    Saintprudence you haven’t got sexual freedom after divorce.

                                                    this is actually absolutely wrong, through divorce you achieve sexual freedom because you are no longer committed to a partner you no longer love.

                                                    Renita I agree, otherwise she can become a slut easily.

                                                    Saintprudence both my moms would adopt you if they could, Renita!

                                                    interesting, if what @Renita says is true, then the mothers are not the lighthouse role model. if a girl has been educated sensibly, she will not become a slut even after the divorce, but if she does, the mothers should not be key holders because they have educated their daughters irresponsibly. (just my opinion)

                                                              Angelina hmm. Your logic is quite sound. It stands to reason that an adult woman who can’t be trusted without a belt was not raised right.

                                                              Mind you, the Catholic perspective is that nobody can be trusted to refrain from sinful acts—ergo that no divorced woman should be free of the belt. This logic is why Catholicism has so many forcing mechanisms! A belt is only a very physical embodiment of the guilt-based control it already employs.

                                                                  Angelina but if she does, the mothers should not be key holders because they have educated their daughters irresponsibly

                                                                  There might be no other possible keyholders, so she is better than nobody.

                                                                      Saintprudence It stands to reason that an adult woman who can’t be trusted without a belt was not raised right.

                                                                      Well it means something is wrong.

                                                                      Saintprudence the Catholic perspective is that nobody can be trusted to refrain from sinful acts—ergo that no divorced woman should be free of the belt.

                                                                      Maybe in your country, but not in mine.

                                                                      Saintprudence This logic is why Catholicism has so many forcing mechanisms!

                                                                      Please tell us what these are.

                                                                      Saintprudence A belt is only a very physical embodiment of the guilt-based control it already employs.

                                                                      Well then one shouldn't wear one.

                                                                                Avery Please tell us what these are.

                                                                                Guilt, authoritarianism, fear of hell, telling people that they are born full of sin and only the church can save them, teaching people that they literally speak with the voice of god. Also the guilt.

                                                                                    Saintprudence I forget - what is your mother’s motivation for belting you?

                                                                                    Coz she has discovered modern chastity belts.

                                                                                    Saintprudence She would consider a belt to be a necessity for unmarried women and an inherent punishment for divorcees.

                                                                                    My mom thinks so too.