Single again chastity

Saintprudence Maybe the guilt was just more effective on me! I barely even masturbated in college because of the power of the guilt. And when I did give in to the temptation, I was a wreck for days

I benefited because what might have been said in church was not reinforced at home. On this forum it seems most are belted because of their parents' influence, not what they heard in church.

Saintprudence It probably helps that Pope Francis, for several years, has preached a more loving and less punishing version of the church.

And I've probably benefited from this too. But nobody seems to pay much attention. Our pastor complained just before covid hit that in a parish our size there used to be 100 marriages a year. But that year, probably 2018 or 19, only six marriages had taken place in the church. If I got married I'd do it barefoot in a gazebo looking out at the ocean. Here:
https://www.yelp.com/biz_photos/tucks-point-manchester-by-the-sea?select=muUYJpnijsMNcTmXzGgSqw

Avery only six marriages had taken place in the church

You know, I'm a reenactor of north european medieval times (10th-11th cent.) and normally we are booked every weekend to make a show at weddings. The last 2 years there was nothing. Not a single wedding...

Avery If I got married I'd do it barefoot in a gazebo looking out at the ocean

A wedding with style, I like that

Avery I benefited because what might have been said in church was not reinforced at home. On this forum it seems most are belted because of their parents' influence, not what they heard in church.

Indeed, I sometimes think I had a particularly harsh parish priest. He was an old-school guy who genuinely thinks everything went downhill after Vatican II and we started celebrating mass in the local language. And he wasn’t hesitant in sharing this opinion, either! My parents were both pretty high ranking in the church council and they subscribed to an EXTREMELY conservative version of Catholicism. Had my mother been alive for my wedding, she would have boycotted it because I didn’t have a Catholic ceremony.

Kris A wedding with style, I like that

Bare feet, bare shoulders, a short dress.

Saintprudence Indeed, I sometimes think I had a particularly harsh parish priest.

I try to think what Jesus would have thought, said, done. He forbid adultery and I follow that. But as far as I know he said nothing about masturbation or sex among those who were not married. He gave me a Fotze and I've used it. 'Til recently. As a dynamic leader who got people to follow him everywhere and listen to his words I bet he got all the pussy he wanted.

Avery unfortunately for me, the Catholic rulebook — canon law, that is, not the Bible — is extremely clear on masturbation, and I read the rule book and believed it when I was young. Masturbation is still officially considered to be a “gravely disordered” mortal sin by the church. They don’t emphasize it as much, but it’s there.

Avery here are the Catechism of the Catholic Church’s exact words regarding masturbation:

“The Church understands the purposes of sexuality to be the begetting children and the mutual pleasure for building the couple's unity. Therefore, any deliberate activation of the sexual function outside the proper state of marriage and the purposes noted is seriously inordinate; if done voluntarily and knowingly, it is sinful. Within marriage such self- or mutual-stimulation is moral only when in some way it prepares for or completes a natural act of sexual intercourse.

Within the Church's teaching on human sexuality, masturbation is considered to be objectively disordered or intrinsically evil (in se malum or intrinsece malum); that is, no circumstances or intentions can render the action of masturbation "morally good." The degree or seriousness of the moral culpability of a particular act of masturbation, however, can be judged only in light of the degree of the moral agent's knowledge, freedom, and intentions. Full moral guilt requires a fully deliberate choice of what the person sufficiently realizes to be seriously evil, which can then be evaluated as gravely, or mortally, sinful. If the act is performed with only partial realization or only partial choice of the will, the person is presumed to be guilty only of venial sin.”

Saintprudence unfortunately for me, the Catholic rulebook — canon law, that is, not the Bible — is extremely clear on masturbation, and I read the rule book and believed it when I was young. Masturbation is still officially considered to be a “gravely disordered” mortal sin by the church. They don’t emphasize it as much, but it’s there.

I understand where you're coming from. But the Catholic rulebook was written by mortal men, not by God. And why should we be bound by what some group of mortal men said, even St. Paul? This is why I said above I try to think about what Jesus would have thought said and done and act accordingly.

So why should the church say masturbation is bad? So MEN can get women to marry and have sex with them. The MEN who ran and run the church wanted women to think the only valid way to have sex is to marry a man. Thus men would have a reliable and exclusive supply of women and sex. If women can masturbate and have sex out of wedlock why do they need to marry men? I DO plan to marry but I do not want to have to marry some guy so I can get myself laid.

Saintprudence

You know I just read the little write-up you have when one hovers over your name. I did not realize you have been having serious long term difficulties with the church. I thought we were having kind of an academic discussion.

Apologize if I have said things that appear to trivialize your difficulties. Did not mean to.

Avery it’s totally fine! I appreciate your thoughts and you are coming from a place of common sense. The logic of the church is not one that can be reconciled with secular logic, and folks shouldn’t buy into it, but some of us were stuck being raised in it. Ironically, it may be chastity that helps me rid myself of the last vestiges of the church in me!

Angelina an irresponsible person should never have the keys to a chastity belt

To own chastity belt?

Renita To own chastity belt?

ok, point for you, you can't ban anyone. but i mean taking responsibility for someone else

Christine I believe it's more her own fetish. But she refuses to wear one herself.

if you think she has a fetish, you should talk to her openly about it, it is not good if she forces you to wear a belt because she claims to want to protect you, but is actually following her own fantasies.

Christine It's not a great achievement to prevent sex using a chastity belt

Her great achievement is that you are always in the belt.

Angelina agreed. Ensuring virtue is one thing but using Christine as her personal trust Barbie doll is disgusting.

Renita indeed. The wearer of a belt is required to refrain from sexual activity, but the belt is neutral as to whether the wearer is obliged to like it.

Saintprudence agreed. Ensuring virtue is one thing but using Christine as her personal trust Barbie doll is disgusting.

Correct, even with involuntary wearers it should always be about the protection of the girl/woman.

Megan

I am not sure if this will help, unless @Christine is thinking about returning to her ex-husband, everything else is probably not helping at the moment. (just my opinion)