Other people want me to wear a chastity belt

Joh

Carlos She said that it just makes her happy knowing I am belted when she is not around.

If you agree to this you should only do it if she wear the belt if you are not around.
It will keep it in her mind what it mean that you wear it for her. It can lead to less demand from her in the long run.

Carlos it makes me very unhappy.

But do you have a family or a partner that really want this.

You family has no saying in you private life. And if you partner demand it and make you very unhappy the question is if it the relation ship worse of the hassle or is it better to end it. If I remember right she has a problem with trust and she has to work on it to solve her problem. It is not your task to do it.

I have been in a relation ship. We went for counselling and after the second session she told me she didn't know why she had to come here. It's just me causing the problems. Then I realised there was no future together and I ended it. That was the best decision I ever made in my life.

youdontknowme

Carlos They said that the only reason I was allowed to live away from home was because my partner was going to be my keyholder.

Why do they have to "allow" you to live away from their home?

Carlos She then asked my parents if they have one that would fit her just to see what it was like. Fortunately for me they did so she tried it over a weekend and she absolutely hated it.

Why do they just have belts like that lying around?

Ines

youdontknowme Why do they just have belts like that lying around?

Deus ex Machina.

Andrew

Carlos My family started giving me a hard time once they discovered that I was mostly free. They said that the only reason I was allowed to live away from home was because my partner was going to be my keyholder. I tried to ignore them but they just became so insistent. They started talking about me moving back home if I was not going to be in my belt.

Your whole problem, in my opinion, comes down to how dependent you are on your parents. If you are able to support yourself and provide some accommodation, I don't see why you should submit to your parents' expectations. Of course, your situation is made more difficult by your partner, but it seems to me that you have been able to cope more easily with her than with your parents.

Milord

Andrew everything here smell of malignant narcissism. Again if your parents are not committed to his well being, than they don't deserve to be. And honestly who can blame him for cutting relationship?

Angelina

Carlos

Thanks for the update, you seem to be doing better and sometimes less well, so I would like to raise a few points about how you might be able to manage the situation better in the future

It is none of your family's business how you conduct your relationship, you are an adult and can live with your partner whenever and however you want, even if you don't wear a belt.
Your girlfriend has seen how difficult it is to wear a belt, so she can't really insist that you do it anymore
If she does it anyway, you should insist that she also wear a belt at the same time, because everything she fears you could do, she could do herself

Make it clear to your family that it is your life and your decisions and tell your girlfriend that you both have the same rights and responsibilities and that the rules for you must also apply to her

All the best for the future 🙂

Milord

Carlos when I was a 25 I had great conflict with my parents. They insisted for me to do something that was really very hard, and this was destroying me (no chastity involved). I told them, but they were blinded and continued to push me.
After few months I confronted them. I plainly said “i will not comply anymore, and if you insist even a single more time, I would go away, and you will never ever hear again from me. you can forget having a son, because I will never came back. you could sold everything, I was not interested in anything you have” I was plain and direct. No fuss, no menace, nothing. I just told them looking in their eyes.
It has been the only time I saw my father crying
They stepped back, hugged me, and in the end, with my time, I did everything, and had the possibility to hug my father when his time came.
But I was ready to go. I knew, and they knew too.
I hope this is helpful for you.

Damien

@Carlos Maybe you want to choose another profile pic. I find pictures of caged genitalia inappropriate here, it's not even an adult thread.

youdontknowme

I do not mind them, but usually that sort of prouly showing it off is done by people who are a lot more happy to wear the belt.

Angelina

youdontknowme but usually that sort of prouly showing it off is done by people who are a lot more happy to wear the belt.

yes, it seems a little inappropriate for the serious topic of this thread and from someone who doesn't always like to wear the belt

Carlos

Well time for another update.

I am still with my partner but I am still not free from the belt. Basically I am locked when I am either out or my partner is not at home. I did have a fairly in-depth conversation with my partner about why she likes me to be wearing the belt and it turned out that it was not just about anxiety of being cheated on there is other factors as well. For me to wear the belt when I was out or she was not at home I did insist on a few points. 1st that when when we are at home together the belt comes off no questions asked. 2nd to limit contact with my family and attempt to use them to pressure me in to doing something I am not comfortable with. 3rd was that she was to look in to changing her job so she would not be doing as many weekend and night shifts, If that was not possible we should look in to getting her a belt as well. The 3rd point was to be reviewed in 6 months time so see what the outcome of that point would be. To end I did say that if these points were not met I would consider the relationship over and require her to leave living with me. She agreed with me and our relationship has been pretty good from then.

My family have not been that bad in the last few months they have stopped giving me hassle about getting out of the belt. They did get me a new belt and gave it to my partner mid December but If I am honest I am not keen on it. Not that it is a bad belt it just feels different from what I am used to. I cant move in the same way and it is a struggle to get it comfortable. They did say to me that there is another one on its way but it might be 3 months or it could be a year before they get it. Apparently they ordered it but had no idea it would take so long. The only awkward time with the family was between Christmas and New years. My Mother and Auntie had a few drinks in them and they started talking about me getting married and having kids. I quickly shuffled that conversation along and then promptly left.

So still not 100% happy but it is improving. Lets see what happens in the next few months.

Milord

Carlos If you were so determined to ask her to leave if she don't accept, that's a huge step. I will push that, being equal, she should wear a belt exactly as you do. I see no reasons why it should not be this way. She probably doesn't like it, but neither you, so it's only fair
Now I can't understand your parent involvement at this point. They know you have premarital sex. You are autonomous. What's the point in deciding your belt?
Currently, you should wear it only if you want and in any case, it's a thing between you and your. You should not allow them control over you
State clearly that it's an abuse and you will not tolerate this.

To be mean, if they talk about marrying and having kids, you may just say that if they don't stop bothering you, they will never be able to see their nephews or grandchildren. After all, you don't want your children to be in chastity like you, right?

EDIT: i had an idea about your parents, maybe you want to check if they fall in this categoria
Narcissistic parents

Also, always remember that to be free is your right, not a priviledge

Angelina

Carlos

Thanks for the update, it's nice to read that you're feeling a little better 🙂

I'm still worried, maybe you should finally assert your views. Do you want to be with this woman if she doesn't respect your physical autonomy? I would expect my partner in a situation like this to be on my side and not your family's. I think you've endured and accepted a lot, that should be enough proof that you really love her and that she doesn't have to be afraid

Martin

Carlos They

Carlos They did get me a new belt and gave it to my partner mid December but If I am honest I am not keen on it. Not that it is a bad belt it just feels different from what I am used to.

Do you know what type (mark) of the belt is it? (The second one as well)

Carlos

Martin It is an access denied belt. The 2nd one is from the same people that made my original belt but it is a different model. Apparently they folk that make it are taking ages to produce their belt.

We have both had a pretty horrid time of is this week and have not been free from the belt at all in the last week. We both came down with covid so were both feeling pretty crappy i did not ask for the belt to come off at all. I was just mostly sleeping from the meds i was taking. My partner did ask me if i wanted out on Wednesday night for some relief but i had to be honest and say that i do not have enough energy to do anything.

It has been a few weeks in to the new year and my partner has started looking for alternative jobs but there does not appear to be many around that pay as much as her current role. So it is unlikely that she will be able to change her working hours. So in that aspect i think i am going to request that she wears a belt when she is out of the house as well but i am not sure how i am going to bring this up with her.

Milord

Carlos So in that aspect i think i am going to request that she wears a belt when she is out of the house as well but i am not sure how i am going to bring this up with her.

“Hi dear, you can choose between 3 possibilities
1) I get free
2) you get belted with the same conditions I have
3) we break up, you go away from my house and I get free and finally start to have a normal life”

Pretty easy. 😂

And keep your parents and away away from your genitals. It is none of their business, and you should enforce this in any possible way.

Angelina

Carlos So in that aspect i think i am going to request that she wears a belt when she is out of the house as well but i am not sure how i am going to bring this up with her.

You live in a relationship together and I would say very clearly, either the two of us or neither of us. If she wants you to wear a belt because she's afraid you'll cheat on her or something similar, then you can reply that, in theory, the same applies to her. Either she sees that her fears are unfounded or she has to live with the fact that you also require the same “security measures”.

youdontknowme

Milord Intellectually easy. Emotionally it can be a lot more difficult to deliver an ultimatum to your partner like that.

Carlos

Milord Right i am going to be bringing this up tonight and see what she says.

I think i would modify your 2nd point i think we can have / will need different conditions.

@Angelina that is a verry good point.

If all goes well i could be free of the belt which i highly doubt. 2 She starts wearing a belt as well which i think will happen or 3 i tell her to leave and i move on.

Milord

youdontknowme freedom never came easily. And is never granted. Should be taken. A very important step in becoming adult.

Milord

Carlos think i would modify your 2nd point i think we can have / will need different conditions.

Why? What is the rational behind different conditions?

Anyway, on purely personal opinion, you should get finally free, unless you have a fetish. Than, after enjoying freedom, you can decide if you, and no one else, want to be caged or not.

Edit:
@Carlos can you give me some context? Because it seems to me that you wear a belt only because your parents want it, and that’s hardly a good reason. Then, you never mentioned that it’s a rule of your house. Did your sister or other siblings wear it too? Your parents?
And what is the reason? Religious? Other?
Since in your message it appears that you are unhappy, why you don’t just free yourself? If your parents negate your right, you should consider them abusive and narcissistic.
On Reddit there is a very active group about narcissists parents. Maybe you should post there your story, you will receive very good feedback
If not, can you explain better your reasons?
I ask to give better advices, not to criticise you

I don’t know if there is someone here that thinks that forcing an adult and independent son in chastity leveraging on his desire to make his parent happy isn’t abusive. In case please can they explain their reasoning? Because I can’t see any.

Angelina

Carlos If all goes well i could be free of the belt which i highly doubt. 2 She starts wearing a belt as well which i think will happen or 3 i tell her to leave and i move on.

i think it is important that it remains fair, i think you have decided on an equal relationship? then both should have the same rights

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