Steve If you feel it it will be fine with her than why not but I recommend you talk about every detail in advance.

  • What does she understand taking the lead? In some parts or all of your relationship?
  • Under what conditions will you be open-minded and when and how often will you have sex?
  • If you can not fulfil her expectation will their any penalty?
  • What influence and in what way are your wishes taken into account?
  • If you decide you don't want to continue the relationship, will she hand you the keys straight away?
  • How should the finances be regulated?
    If you live in a flat, who will be in the tenancy agreement?
    etc.

      Steve After all she sent me home with some things to think about.
      I won't get unlocked even if we enter in a relationship (at least for now).
      She will take the lead in the relationship. However it won't be onesided as she wants me to be happy.
      I should tell her best friends about my chastity and start to accept it.

      The only thing I would have serious reservations about is the lack of unlocking. On the one hand, I understand her position, because she probably doesn't want you to see a relationship with her as a form of easy satisfaction. On the other hand, if your goal is to establish a normal relationship and have children, you should discuss this openly with her and agree on the rules under which you will be able to satisfy yourself.

          " start to accept your chastity" after fifteen years? My question for the ladies here is always, does long term chastity lead to seeking a dominant partner? I've spent a lot of time in chastity over the years and for me it does. It seems you said that if you found a girl she would have to continue chastity and accept you for who you are. This sounds like the perfet situation for you. What does your ideal relationship look like? Equality? Kink? Big questions. I think if you get honest with yourself, you'll find that your KH is the right match. Either way it seems you'll stay tightly locked. May as well enjoy it with someone vs. staying lonely lost AND locked. It seems that your fate is as sealed as your boy parts.

            Steve Some advice would ve really appreciated

            i would try it, in my opinion it is your best chance because she knows you, knows the belt and it avoids awkward conversations. also you have to keep one thing in mind, if you meet another woman, she will probably not like it if another woman has the key.

            Steve I should tell her best friends about my chastity and start to accept it.

            why should you talk to her friends about it? what exactly is the reason for it, i would only accept it if there is a really good reason for it.
            You should also consider the questions @Joh has posted.

            toad My question for the ladies here is always, does long term chastity lead to seeking a dominant partner?

            my girlfriend is not dominant but i think it depends on whether the belt makes you feel submissive or not

                    i find it hard to believe chastity wouldn't make you feel submissive. But as they say everyone is different

                      toad i find it hard to believe chastity wouldn't make you feel submissive. But as they say everyone is different

                      Well you covered yourself by saying everyone is different but I've found attempting chastity has made me feel more in control.

                          great, i believe we should all feel empowered

                            toad For me chastity was the tool to curb my awful behavior. Not really a submissive thing for me

                              Sasha

                              She is very open about talking about her sex life with her friends, so she wants me to be open about my chastity with em. Of the three points its my biggest concern. While she assured me they will keep it as a secret, i am still bothered.
                              Yes, i guess i would be a sub, but thats something i can probably manage. I know her long enough to trust her fully.
                              She will keep me locked for the forseeable future, as she thinks getting in a relationship with her shouldn't be an immediate reason to unlock me.

                                  toad
                                  Before my chastity i masturbated... A lot.
                                  It was one hell of a distraction and very addictive.
                                  I don't bother if she takes the lead, as long as she makes sure that i am happy too.
                                  I will be released when and if she sees it fit. A relationship with her on itself isn't enough to be unlocked in her opinion.

                                    Joh
                                    Of course we need to talk a bit more on details.
                                    I might answer some of your questions now tho.

                                    Until she thinks otherwise, i won't have "normal" sex at all. I will stay locked and won't get an orgasm or other ways of stimulations down there. She want me to pleasure her with other means (like wearing a strap-on or oral)

                                    If i want to do something or i don't want to, i'll have to ask for her permission and she then considers the matter.

                                    If our relationship doesn't work out, she will still be my keyholder (that was a hugh relief for me)

                                    Everyone pays for his/her own lifestyle. We both own houses so thats also no problem.

                                      Andrew
                                      She will unlock me, when she sees it fit. She wants children in general, but we will have to work that topic out. I don't expect to be unlocked very often just to have "fun" tho

                                        Steve She is very open about talking about her sex life with her friends, so she wants me to be open about my chastity with em. Of the three points its my biggest concern. While she assured me they will keep it as a secret, i am still bothered.

                                        I mean, there are multiple reasons to talk about that. If she intends it to be a humiliation challenge, by all means refuse unless you are into that. Do not let yourself get blackmailed into doing stuff you would rather not do.

                                        But on the other hand, that does not seem like the way you describe your friend / potential girlfriend otherwise. I think she wants people to know about the arrangement you two have, so you have someone to confide in and someone can hold her accountable. And she does not want to tell otehrs behind your back. In that case, confiding your arrangement in people that are closer to her than to you might just be a way to shine a light onto this special relationship.

                                            toad

                                            She means it as "being able to talk about it with people", which i have problems to do.
                                            I have no problems being sub in a relationship as long as my partner loves me and makes me happy.
                                            Still i would like to have sex with her on some occasions of she really is the right one for me. Guess time will tell.

                                              Angelina
                                              I really want to try. Pretty sure i can feel comfortable in a FLR.

                                              The thing about her friends is, that she is very open with them about her sexual activities. So after a few days or weeks in a relationship we will have to bring up the matter. She thinks its best to tell them from the start, that we won't have sex the normal way for a while. Maybe it helps me being more open about this topic.

                                                  youdontknowme
                                                  She isn't the kind of woman that would humiliate her partner... Or anyone else... Without them being into that kind of thing
                                                  I think she wants to help me being more open about my chastity with others.
                                                  We go to a party this weekend with em, so i guess thats when she wants me to bring that topic up with her friends.

                                                    I know that this isin't a kink site, but i think that's where you are going. For me one of the most difficult things is living our life in a vanilla world. "The big secret' is a hinderence between these two worlds. I see her as wanting to remove the hard line between the two worlds so you can be more open with each other and the life you seek. For the ladies on here, keeping their belt secret is a big thing. Most are not in a relationship and the thought of discovery is horrifying. By neccessity they live in a secret world and secrets are always work to bare. Big difference.

                                                      Avery for me it even makes me feel powerful ( over myself) because i can control my urges and also the urge ( when it happens) to ask to take the belt off

                                                          Anniegreen for me it even makes me feel powerful (over myself) because i can control my urges and also the urge (when it happens) to ask to take the belt off

                                                          Correct, methinks. That was a man who said it would make a female feel submissive.

                                                            toad For the ladies on here, keeping their belt secret is a big thing. Most are not in a relationship and the thought of discovery is horrifying. By neccessity they live in a secret world and secrets are always work to bare. Big difference.

                                                            It's not their choice, really. Most of the ladies here are forced into the belt. To make that fact public would risk the chance that their keyholders would be revealed as abusers (mothers, fathers, aunts) and the women don't want that (possible destruction of the family). I do not think women who make the chastity choice themselves are all that secret. I make no bones about not coming across.