Am i normal?

Steve

Foumd this Forum lately and after reading a few threads, i decided to make this post.

I am a 32 years old male virgin. I decided to lock myself in a chastity cage when i got 16 years old and after a long talk with my best female friend, she agreed to keep the keys.
After some early problems (feeling uncomfortable and slipping out of it, when the urges grow to strong) she got me a custom fitted one and i agreed to get a PA Piercing, as it has a special hook so i cant pull out anymore.

I am wearing it to this day and she only releases me for healthcare/cleaning, which she supervises.
We agreed i can only have sex once i get a girlfriend, but as i am very shy its probably not going to happen anytime soon. But i am not uncomfortable with my situation most of the time, as being kept locked motivates me to focus on other aspects of my life.

So the question is: do you think this is normal/good or should i get help?

Andrew

Steve Your situation is hard to judge in terms of "normal". If you feel good about it, that's OK. If you were suffering because of it, the situation would be different. The only thing that raises my doubts is whether the cage does not increase your shyness, and thus lowers the possibility of meeting your partner, which in turn is supposed to be a condition of release. What was the reason for your decision to wear the cage permanently?

Jonas

Steve my best female friend

Could this relationship be anything more?

Jonas

Steve . But i am not uncomfortable with my situation most of the time, as being kept locked motivates me to focus on other aspects of my life.

All sounds good to me.

So the question is: do you think this is normal/good or should i get help?

So many on the forum looking at what everyone else is doing right now!!

I don't really understand why. Other people are living their own lives.

Breaking chastity to be normal doesn't make any sense to me. As said above, your chastity doesn't affect anyone else so it's your choice.

Damien

thank you for sharing your thoughts @Steve . Don't worry about normality please; even if you weren't - you are not bothering anybody with your chastity.

Do you want to have a partner to share your life with? Do you want to have sex with them, maybe found your own family?

Steve

Damien
Thank you for your kind words.

Yes i want do find a woman to share my life with her. If its her wish too, i would also like to have children with her.

About having sex itself... Well i think it would be best if she gets my keys and the times i receive sexual pleasure is heavily restricted and controlled. I can pleasure her with other methods as much as she wants, if that is fulfilling for her.

Steve

Andrew

Maybe that is actually true. I think a woman today might find it awkward if i tell her there won't be any sex during us dating.

Most of the people i knew when i was young lost their virginity at partys, being drunk or through other stupid means. I always wanted to save myself for someone special, that i truely love and who loves me the same. When i went 15-16, my urges grew very strong and i felt very distracted, so i decided to get myself locked up and strictly controlled.

Jen

Steve how you going to find a girl like that? Like it won't just happen you'll have to really try.

Steve

Jen
I know. Its just hard to for me to speak with women IRL. I know most of em dont want a relationship like one that i need. And i am afraid to bring such a topic like chastity up.

Andrew

Steve Most of the people i knew when i was young lost their virginity at partys, being drunk or through other stupid means. I always wanted to save myself for someone special, that i truely love and who loves me the same. When i went 15-16, my urges grew very strong and i felt very distracted, so i decided to get myself locked up and strictly controlled.

I'm going to push this topic a bit. Why do you care so much about virginity? Is your motivation in this regard religious?

Steve Maybe that is actually true. I think a woman today might find it awkward if i tell her there won't be any sex during us dating.

It depends on what environment you will be looking for your chosen one. I don't know what religion you are and what country you live in, but I suspect that there will be some online dating site for people with conservative values. There, virginity will be a plus, not a minus. I personally know a few couples who got married thanks to this type of portal.

Jen

Steve all my thoughts are what if what if and not experience... But I think I'll mention the belt early - best not to waste time if it's going to be a problem.

Damien

Jen it's not going to be a problem. I can't believe you think your value decreases because you chose chastity!

Steve

Jen
I really like people that can talk about such topics easily. Its hard for myself as i don't like the faces people make and their statements when i bring it up.

Steve

Andrew
I am not religious. I just don't want to have sex with a stranger, or drunk at a party. I want it to be with someone special that i love. Masturbating is another thing. That urge was VERY distracting back then, but after 16 years of being locked it is rarely the chase.

I live in the countryside of austria. While i tested some sites like you suggested it is somewhat difficult in terms of distance and finding truly likeminded people.

Steve

Jonas
I brought that matter up sometimes as i really like her but she isnt that interrested. There were some moments of "friendship plus" but nothing too serious.

Jonas

Steve Are you in any way waiting for her though? Just wondering if that what's putting you off from actively looking for a gf?

Steve

Jonas
No, i accepted it. Made that error once and never again.

Steve

Jonas
I am always interrested in other peoples opinions as long as a discussion stays respectful 😉
as i am locked that long without ever experiencing sexual intercourse, i want to know what people think about it and what their arguments are.

I for sure won't get unlocked before i enter a serious relationship with a woman. First off all i wouldn't want it 99% of the time and second my best female friend/ keyholder made it very clear that she wont give me the keys otherwise after i gave her my consent all those years ago 😉

Jonas

Steve as i am locked that long without ever experiencing sexual intercourse, i want to know what people think about it and what their arguments are.

Ah, absolutely understand this. Was just wary of the idea of seeking help for this choice and wondering if you're putting yourself under pressure to conform to others' ideas of what's right.

my best female friend/ keyholder made it very clear that she wont give me the keys otherwise

She must take it all very seriously to be so committed for so long. Does she regularly check you're still wearing? Why do you think she agreed to help? What does she think about your epic chastity marathon?

Steve

Jonas
She is a very kind person i have a lot of fun with, but yes she takes her part as my keyholder dead serious. Its a titanium cage with a PA Hook, so i can't take it off without a heavy tool. She has to "check" regulary because she takes it off every week or two to look if everything is fine and i get cleaned down there properly. I dont mind she is supervising me, while i clean myself. She even does it herself sometimes if i had a bad week and could use a moment of gentle caressing.

When i told her about my wish to be locked up, she was like "wtf" first. But after some hours of talking she agreed on a trial phase if i really mean it seriously. We had some ups and downs at the start, but after all this years we never ended the trial phase. She even spend several hundred bucks and gifted me a custom fitted cage to my birthday.
She is very supportive all these years, but also she teases me alot amd makes jokes about it sometimes 😅

MissBlossom

Steve
How many women have you asked out in the last six months?

Jonas

Steve You sound very close to your friend. Important not to mess that up. Has she had relationships during this time?