Steve Most of the people i knew when i was young lost their virginity at partys, being drunk or through other stupid means. I always wanted to save myself for someone special, that i truely love and who loves me the same. When i went 15-16, my urges grew very strong and i felt very distracted, so i decided to get myself locked up and strictly controlled.

I'm going to push this topic a bit. Why do you care so much about virginity? Is your motivation in this regard religious?

Steve Maybe that is actually true. I think a woman today might find it awkward if i tell her there won't be any sex during us dating.

It depends on what environment you will be looking for your chosen one. I don't know what religion you are and what country you live in, but I suspect that there will be some online dating site for people with conservative values. There, virginity will be a plus, not a minus. I personally know a few couples who got married thanks to this type of portal.

        Steve my best female friend

        Could this relationship be anything more?

            Andrew
            I am not religious. I just don't want to have sex with a stranger, or drunk at a party. I want it to be with someone special that i love. Masturbating is another thing. That urge was VERY distracting back then, but after 16 years of being locked it is rarely the chase.

            I live in the countryside of austria. While i tested some sites like you suggested it is somewhat difficult in terms of distance and finding truly likeminded people.

              Jonas
              I brought that matter up sometimes as i really like her but she isnt that interrested. There were some moments of "friendship plus" but nothing too serious.

                  Steve Are you in any way waiting for her though? Just wondering if that what's putting you off from actively looking for a gf?

                      Jonas
                      No, i accepted it. Made that error once and never again.

                        Jen
                        I really like people that can talk about such topics easily. Its hard for myself as i don't like the faces people make and their statements when i bring it up.

                          Steve . But i am not uncomfortable with my situation most of the time, as being kept locked motivates me to focus on other aspects of my life.

                          All sounds good to me.

                          So the question is: do you think this is normal/good or should i get help?

                          So many on the forum looking at what everyone else is doing right now!!

                          I don't really understand why. Other people are living their own lives.

                          Breaking chastity to be normal doesn't make any sense to me. As said above, your chastity doesn't affect anyone else so it's your choice.

                              Jonas
                              I am always interrested in other peoples opinions as long as a discussion stays respectful 😉
                              as i am locked that long without ever experiencing sexual intercourse, i want to know what people think about it and what their arguments are.

                              I for sure won't get unlocked before i enter a serious relationship with a woman. First off all i wouldn't want it 99% of the time and second my best female friend/ keyholder made it very clear that she wont give me the keys otherwise after i gave her my consent all those years ago 😉

                                  Steve as i am locked that long without ever experiencing sexual intercourse, i want to know what people think about it and what their arguments are.

                                  Ah, absolutely understand this. Was just wary of the idea of seeking help for this choice and wondering if you're putting yourself under pressure to conform to others' ideas of what's right.

                                  my best female friend/ keyholder made it very clear that she wont give me the keys otherwise

                                  She must take it all very seriously to be so committed for so long. Does she regularly check you're still wearing? Why do you think she agreed to help? What does she think about your epic chastity marathon?

                                      Jonas
                                      She is a very kind person i have a lot of fun with, but yes she takes her part as my keyholder dead serious. Its a titanium cage with a PA Hook, so i can't take it off without a heavy tool. She has to "check" regulary because she takes it off every week or two to look if everything is fine and i get cleaned down there properly. I dont mind she is supervising me, while i clean myself. She even does it herself sometimes if i had a bad week and could use a moment of gentle caressing.

                                      When i told her about my wish to be locked up, she was like "wtf" first. But after some hours of talking she agreed on a trial phase if i really mean it seriously. We had some ups and downs at the start, but after all this years we never ended the trial phase. She even spend several hundred bucks and gifted me a custom fitted cage to my birthday.
                                      She is very supportive all these years, but also she teases me alot amd makes jokes about it sometimes 😅

                                          MissBlossom
                                          None. Living in the countryside is beautiful and very relaxing, but meeting a woman i feel comfortable talking about some topics is really hard. Most of em have a very specific opinion about how a man should be. Its even worse as everyone knows everybody and being to open about my lifestyle can lead to serious problems if they are too talkative about it.

                                              Steve
                                              I don't know enough about male chastity or long term denial to say much about them, but I see something concerning about your relationship with your keyholder.

                                              It sounds like you are in what the kids call "the friend zone," where you get just enough female companionship from her to dull your drive to pursue a relationship elsewhere, but not enough to satisfy your needs.

                                              The level of intimacy between you, where she watches you clean and sometimes cleans you, could also add to the complication.

                                              The usual advice I hear people give each other for getting out of "the friend zone" is to stop spending time with the other person, but for you that would be a huge change and probably mean quitting chastity.

                                              Something else to consider is that a 32 year old is very different from a 16 year old. You really have no idea what your normal life would be like today without chastity. (Not counting the first several weeks of freedom. Even I could probably predict what those would be like.)

                                                  Steve but meeting a woman i feel comfortable talking about some topics is really hard.

                                                  I have a feeling you're in a kind of vicious circle: you won't take the belt off until you've entered into a stable relationship, which you can't establish to a large extent just by wearing the belt. To stop them, you would either have to give up the belt or put more effort into finding a woman who matches your expectations. I don't see any other possibilities.

                                                      MissBlossom
                                                      maybe you have a point here. i could argue that normal "friendzoned" isnt about being a keyholder and the responsibilites that come with that, but i guess it really made me... hm not dull... but a bit picky when i search for a relationship. still i am very shy when talking to women i meet the first time and it takes a lot of time before i feel comfortable enough to open up and/or trust someone enough.

                                                      if i would stop spending time with her, to see if it gets me out of "Friendzone" and into a relationship, then staying locked is probably not the biggest problem. it would however end a very strong friendship that has gone through a lot.

                                                      it is true that i have no idea how my life would have went without chastity, but looking at friends and people i know since i was 16, i think that i haven't missed much. There are a lot of regrets, divorces, alimonies and what not there, because they where "young and stupid" as we say here. And yes, letting me out off chastity would be very "interessting" for the first weeks, i guess 😀

                                                          Andrew
                                                          i definetly prefer the later 😀 however it is really hard to find someone. first, as i find it hard to open up and then she has to accept me as i am. which sounds stupid and generic but it really is a big problem here.

                                                              Steve You sound very close to your friend. Important not to mess that up. Has she had relationships during this time?

                                                                  Steve i guess it really made me... hm not dull... but a bit picky when i search for a relationship.

                                                                  The perfect relationship won't just appear, no matter how long you wait. You have to work with someone to create it.

                                                                  Steve still i am very shy when talking to women i meet the first time and it takes a lot of time before i feel comfortable enough to open up and/or trust someone enough.

                                                                  Try asking women out before you know them well, and then using your dates to figure out how well matched you are. There's no harm in dating someone a few times, realizing it won't work, and respectfully ending it.

                                                                        MissBlossom The perfect relationship won't just appear, no matter how long you wait. You have to work with someone to create it

                                                                        Great advice.