"Coming Out"

Sasha

Damien One positive side effect of me wearing it is I’ve actually made friends by being so open about it.
My behavior obviously made a lot of people not like me much, but since I’ve obviously changed I’ve been able to make amends with many of them. Those were the many “it’s about time” comments I got

Joh

Sasha One positive side effect of me wearing it is I’ve actually made friends by being so open about it.
My behavior obviously made a lot of people not like me much, but since I’ve obviously changed I’ve been able to make amends with many of them. Those were the many “it’s about time” comments I got

People's reactions show that you have really changed for the better. It's a great proof that if you really want to, you can change a lot in yourself. Congratulations and keep up the good work.

MissBlossom

We've only ever come out to other people in the kink community in a nearby city, but we haven't been active there in years.

We live near a small town in the country where the only way to keep a secret is to tell nobody. But having a secret is half the fun.

The closest I come to admitting that I even think risque thoughts is that a couple times a year I might tell a dirty joke to some of the young adults at church or in town. I think this may be why they come to me for advice so often. It might make me seem less judgemental.

Joh

Damien Keyholding currency is trust, and that's not as boring as it may sound.

I say trust is the base for every relationship. But I agree key holding is is a challenge and that makes it very interesting. Especially because of the intensive conversations.

Jonas

Damien I love that you let your friends in on your chastity belt. Sometimes the idea finds fertile ground. And why would they have a problem with that pretty piece of shiny metal on you as long as you yourself don't?

I've no problem sharing that I wear a belt, no problem at all, I'm proud of it. Explaining that I wear it to prevent chronic masturbation however... Not such an easy thing!! Lol. 😅 🤣 😅

Angelina

Damien What is your experience "coming out" to friends?

in my case, only my best friend knows (i've known her for over 10 years) and it was more of a coincidence because i'm a bit careless with her. she saw it and sensed it, so i told her the whole story. she didn't want to believe it at first, then was curious and finally she promised that i can always talk to her about it and she will support me and that's exactly what she is doing 🙂

Jonas

Was about to be "outed" to friends by a wand metal detector anyway so told them before the door. They were cool. I wasn't happy that it wasn't my free choice to come out, however I found that being open about my chastity belt makes me a more relaxed and more authentic version of myself, so it's all good. From that point on I decided not to sweat it. If people know, they know. If it's a problem, it's a problem for them.

Jonas

Damien And why would they have a problem with that pretty piece of shiny metal on you as long as you yourself don't?

I think people find the idea of chastity belts challenging. They like sex a lot and can't conceive of the idea that their pleasures could be entirely blocked, ...or even controlled by another.

Sometimes the idea finds fertile ground.

A lot of times this seems to happen with people with very high sex drives. Their sex drive gets them into dangerous/undesirable situations and they take steps to prevent it, or else it becomes an expression of extreme kink.

Either way, it seems harsh luck for people with high sex drives to end up in belts! But, it's only sex isn't it? Not like it's a big deal... Lol.

Damien

Jonas A lot of times this seems to happen with people with very high sex drives.

I know two ladies where this does not seem to be the case. One has been wearing her FancySteel (metal hip belt, FS3 dome shield) with equanimity and nonchalance for weeks, hardly mentioning it in our conversations. I admit I recently added the little tingling steel ball on the inner part of her shield for a day just to see what it takes to get her more emotional about belt wearing 🙂

Rina

Telling that one wears a chastity belt is quite hard, especially for ones using it for non fetish purposes.
Majority of people don't know that chastity belt is real.
Most of ones who know that chastity belt is real thinks it's for fetish use
I wish more non fetish users could be free to be open about their chastity belt use without being suspected as fetishists.

Damien

Rina without being suspected as fetishists.

Those evil kinksters and fetishists with their weird ideas about educated consent among adults ;-)

The concept of female chastity or virginity has been called a fetish in itself by some smart people here in the forum.

Christine

idk if it counts. Mom showed my belt to relatives. Ofc locked on me.

Saintprudence

Christine that’s not so much “coming out” as “being shown off.”

Damien

Christine How did you feel?

Jonas

Christine idk if it counts. Mom showed my belt to relatives. Ofc locked on me.

No way! Under what circumstances? Surely not the whole belt, just waistband?

Angelina

Christine idk if it counts. Mom showed my belt to relatives. Ofc locked on me.

she didn't really do that? 😮
sorry, with alem what you can accuse my father, but this is a public humiliation and an absolute nogo

Christine She wanted to brag about her "brilliant" idea.

the brilliant idea to lock up your daughter's genetalia and humiliate her publicly? sorry, i know i sound as harsh as @Kaja now, but i really don't have the words for that

Rina

Saintprudence that’s not so much “coming out” as “being shown off.”

It would be more the equivalnt of "being outed"

Jonas

Damien How did you feel?

I can't say, but it was a strong enough feeling to get her to become her mother's keyholder.

Christine

Damien How did you feel?

Like a chastity model.

Jonas Under what circumstances?

She wanted to brag about her "brilliant" idea.

Jonas Surely not the whole belt, just waistband?

Waistband only.

Jonas to get her to become her mother's keyholder

Yes, and now she can show off her own belt.

youdontknowme

Damien The concept of female chastity or virginity has been called a fetish in itself by some smart people here in the forum.

I would argue that virginity obsession has led to more sexual objectification than kink ever will.

Avery

youdontknowme I would argue that virginity obsession has led to more sexual objectification than kink ever will.

I don't agree. One could say Muslim countries are virginity obsessed but I don't think there is more sexual objectification there than, say, in the US. Even in college running here we wear bottoms that barely cover our bottoms and don't fully cover them during a race. Female bodies here sell just about everything. In Iran they substitute pictures of the supreme leader.