Advice for potential new Keyholders

Joh

Jonas Opportunities for "relief" may seem kind, but it's temporary and digs you deeper into the problem.

Sorry, this is Not a fact. It May happend depended on the Person and it will to live with a compromise.

Jonas

Joh Sorry, this is Not a fact. It May happend depended on the Person and it will to live with a compromise.

Wasn't trying to prove my position. Was trying to explain my view that facing sexual frustration is required if you are to master your sex drive. Ofc people who don't have this problem, don't need this solution.

Joh

MissBlossom I agree with you. If she want to change a mentor on her side will help her to learn the value of a relationship based on Love.

youdontknowme

Heck, if Jane genuinely wants to change, and her sexual outbursts are a spur-of-the-moment thing, even a belt to which she owns a key could help. She can put it on and leave the key at home if she goes out and fears what it might develop into. Probably not enough to convince Monica to spend a good chunk of money on a belt, but easyier to convince Jane to accept.

Kaja

Jonas You are slave of yourweakness. Because you have to substitute your mind and self force by metal underwear...

Jonas

Kaja Jonas You are slave of yourweakness. Because you have to substitute your mind and self force by metal underwear...

No. I'm a slave to my sex drive when I give in to it not when I use a tool to successfully control it.

Kaja

MissBlossom 💗

Jonas

MissBlossom I think you see "too much sex" and think about what that would mean if YOU did it -- excessive and uncontrolled sex drive.

I see "too much sex" and I think about what it would mean if I did it -- not enough love.

Whatever her fundamental feelings and motivations this person lacks restraint.

Sasha

youdontknowme it might be suitable to bring up a summary of @Sasha's experiences - how sexual carelessness had almost messed up hervlife in a big way, and she has since come to value the opportunity chastity has given her.

I wouldn’t mind at all if @Susan used me as an example of what a real monster is, where Jane’s headed and how it almost destroyed my life.
I’ve never really opened up about this before I joined, but maybe the dead Sasha can finally do some good in this world.
My chastity belt was my reset button, which is almost nonexistent in this world

youdontknowme

Sasha as an example of what a real monster is, where Jane’s headed and how it almost destroyed my life.

Might advise not to start with that. Pretty sure the shock would not help convince her. That you have come to consider "the old you" a monster that is luckily gone from this world is best left for after it has already been explained how good you feel about your new life.

Sasha

youdontknowme You’re probably right. And I know it sounds harsh describing myself that way, but part of recovery is being honest with yourself. And that’s the reality of who I was. Didn’t matter who got hurt, how many relationships I destroyed, that I’d happily have traded “favors” for just about anything in return. Even my other additions, didn’t care what it took.
What other word besides monster accurately describes her? And the fact she’s gone is nothing but positive.
My chastity belt is the flag I planted on that hill when I achieved victory.

Jonas

Sasha ...I know it sounds harsh describing myself that way, but part of recovery is being honest with yourself. And that’s the reality of who I was.

What other word besides monster accurately describes her?

I'm not here to sugar coat serious shocking problems or promote half-ass solutions, but I would make one suggestion... instead of identifying your past self as a monster, is it better to describe your past behaviour as monstrous?

Important to confine condemnation to the behaviour not the person I think.

Sasha

Jonas Can’t separate body from mind right? I was that person behaving that way, in my mind at least, there’s no way to separate the two from each other.
All we can do is correct it and be a better version of ourselves, a 2.0 I suppose

Jonas

Sasha Can’t separate body from mind right? I was that person behaving that way, in my mind at least, there’s no way to separate the two from each other.

I think the ideal separation here is "Hate the sin, love the sinner."

In context, if Jane were likened to a monster, she might end up hating herself and loving the sin. IE... getting the message exactly backwards.

Conversely if Jane and her mother attack the behaviour, "the sin", together, in a spirit of love, then I think Jane would be well on the way to 2.0

Kaja

Jonas I usualy dont agree with you. But this is good point.

Sasha

Jonas That’s a fair point. And of course my own self description.
And however she feels appropriate to relate it I’d be happy to be the example. Everything I’ve finally been able to finally open up about, and something even worse I haven’t

youdontknowme

Jonas In context, if Jane were likened to a monster, she might end up hating herself and loving the sin. IE... getting the message exactly backwards.

Conversely if Jane and her mother attack the behaviour, "the sin", together, in a spirit of love, then I think Jane would be well on the way to 2.0

Definitely something worth taking into account. Also, I am not trying to equate sexual promiscuity with probably the worst atrocity in recorded history, but it reminds me of the handling of the holocaust and responsibility for it. It is easy to shift the blame onto a small group of complete monsters at the top who somehow managed to deceive or tyrranize an entire country. At the same time, however, Germany in the 1920s and early 1930s did not have a population of better or worse humans than other countries. Reconciling the fact that millions of normal people were willing to look away or even take part in that while everyone knew them as normal, loving individuals confronts you with the harsh reality that we all carry a spark of evil which, if nurtured, can lead to profoundly terrible things.

Jonas

Kaja I think we agree when we're against mistreatment, but disagree when I can see a positive to real world chastity that you cannot. I respect that.

This situation with Monica and Jane requires a genuine, loving, offer of help together with a genuine loving acceptance of help: A realisation that they're stronger together. I think they need to stop being angry with each other and start being angry at the behaviour.

Jonas

Sasha And however she feels appropriate to relate it I’d be happy to be the example. Everything I’ve finally been able to finally open up about, and something even worse I haven’t

I greatly respect your honesty and openness and hope that your message gets to where it's needed.

Sabina

Ines masturbation is a ladder towards even worse things,

I would not demonize masturbation so much, although in rare cases it can be a problem for some people.

Ines and further a waste of time and efforts

Especially when wearing a chastity belt. 🤣

Ines

Sabina Especially when wearing a chastity belt. 🤣

Thigh bands will give you a good amount of sleep time!

« Previous Page Next Page »