Avery Sorry it didn't work out.
Outcomes
Avery Well, since this is the outcomes thread let me respond to my own post and report my outcome is I no longer have a boyfriend. This is OK whereas he does not have the kind of emotional attachment to me that I, or anyone else here, I dare say, would require.
It's sad that it has turned out like this, but you have been given clarity. I think that's very important, because in the long term it's not good to be with someone even though you're not really compatible.
Avery The main point for this forum is I'm going back to a chaste lifestyle using the belt as an aid, so that's somewhat different than many here who are full-timers
If you have the feeling that this is what you want, then do it.
I also see the CB as a great way to achieve your goals. It may help you when you have a weak time. Do you already have an idea of how you want to handle it? For example, do you want to use a time lock?
Joh It's sad that it has turned out like this, but you have been given clarity. I think that's very important, because in the long term it's not good to be with someone even though you're not really compatible.
Completely agree.
Joh I also see the CB as a great way to achieve your goals. It may help you when you have a weak time. Do you already have an idea of how you want to handle it? For example, do you want to use a time lock?
Let's say I see this as a kind of two-stage process.
First, trying to avoid weak times by doing things like showering in the swimmer's wetdown area where one could not touch oneself without risking discipline. Not drinking which weakens one's resistance, not going to places like bars where boys will approach you, no sexy undies which turns one's thoughts to sex, etc.
Second, keeping the belt handy at times when temptation presents itself, e.g. when showering alone is the only alternative, under the bed when the hands begin to wander at night.
I've not used things like a time lock, so far have managed with putting the belt on, locking it, putting the key in a public place like a flower pot on the mantel piece where my giving in would be obvious to anyone present.
A big plus is I WANT to do this so resisting temptation is easier then for those who are compelled to do it.
Also, as I have no boyfriend now I have no object for my desires to well up upon. How @Ines managed with a long-term boyfriend I can't imagine.
- Edited
Avery First, trying to avoid weak times by doing things like showering in the swimmer's wetdown area where one could not touch oneself without risking discipline. Not drinking which weakens one's resistance, not going to places like bars where boys will approach you, no sexy undies which turns one's thoughts to sex, etc.
You have thought carefully about when it is a risk and how you can minimise it. Very good.
Avery Second, keeping the belt handy at times when temptation presents itself, e.g. when showering alone is the only alternative, under the bed when the hands begin to wander at night.
A CB is a good tool for precisely such situations. Your solution is certainly a good way, but there is a risk that someone could take the key. In this case, a box with a time lock is a safe way to store the key and then remove it in the morning.
If you want to give it a try, opt for a box that you can open with force if necessary. For the worst case situation.
- Edited
Joh opt for a Boy that you can open with force if necessary.
Best typo possible in the context of a young woman who just reported a relationship not working out
Joh In this case, a box with a time lock is a safe way to store the key and then remove it in the morning.
If you want to give it a try, opt for a box that you can open with force if necessary. For the worst case situation.
Thanks for the tip, I'll keep it in mind. In a pinch, my Mother has a key (she also has a belt, though it is a sex toy and used for that purpose). I recall when my Dad was trying to quit smoking he'd leave the cigarettes in the car or the garage or something. It made it inconvenient to get a cigarette (one often lights up without thinking) and it made it obvious to everybody he was going out after one. With winter coming on soon having to go out in the cold to get the key (especially since I sleep naked or almost) would be a good discouragement.
Avery Thanks for the tip, I'll keep it in mind. In a pinch, my Mother has a key (she also has a belt, though it is a sex toy and used for that purpose). I recall when my Dad was trying to quit smoking he'd leave the cigarettes in the car or the garage or something. It made it inconvenient to get a cigarette (one often lights up without thinking) and it made it obvious to everybody he was going out after one. With winter coming on soon having to go out in the cold to get the key (especially since I sleep naked or almost) would be a good discouragement.
It sounds like your system is working for you. Then it is sufficient. If you need more security, you can switch.
9 days later
Am actually glad I'm not 24/7.
7 days later
4 months later
Avery Well, since this is the outcomes thread let me respond to my own post and report my outcome is I no longer have a boyfriend. This is OK whereas he does not have the kind of emotional attachment to me that I, or anyone else here, I dare say, would require.
The main point for this forum is I'm going back to a chaste lifestyle using the belt as an aid, so that's somewhat different than many here who are full-timers. I do think there is some value here of having someone here who proffers the belt as an assistance device only and, believe me, it has come in handy on numerous occasions.
Once again I'm responding to my own post. Happy to report I have a new boyfriend. I still maintain my completely chaste lifestyle (no sexy outfits, no playing with myself, no booze, no bars, no dates with other boys, no porn), wear the belt when not with him except to run and shower, allow him to have his way with me when we are together (we still live apart) including some light BDSM style stuff. We've added penalties for me breaking the rules, which infractions I must log each day. Never have done that before but we have had people here in the group who have to do penance and I enjoy it. Happy so far, about five weeks now since he pinned me at Christmas.
Wearing the belt when he's not around adds so much closeness.
Avery Happy so far, about five weeks now since he pinned me at Christmas.
Very happy for you!
I haven't heard that saying in a long time. What does it mean nowadays to be pinned?