Sara2001

well I understand what is meant, this has been mentioned several times here in the forum. I always say that it is perfectly ok, if wearing the equipment is part of something bigger, but I am not of the opinion that the power situation has to change with taking off the chastity equipment.

And exactly for this it needs a plan B . It can always come to the point where both partners love their role in the relationship, but can't deal with smaller aspects of this role distribution. To say that we don't need a plan B still seems to me to be a little too short, because people change

I don't want to dissuade you from the idea of how to run your relationship or later marriage, but there must be some flexibility in some aspects of the relationship

thanks for the answer 🙂

      Angelina I don't want to dissuade you from the idea of how to run your relationship or later marriage, but there must be some flexibility in some aspects of the relationship

      Sara here: I think it is a bit like with the contracts. We don't need a contract for a similar reason. I trust him that he will see when a change is needed and that he takes what I want into account. I don't think a predefined kind of exit strategy would help us.

      I am sure that if I can't deal with the belt anymore, I don't have to worry that he will remove it. I don't have to worry that I risk our relationship if I change my mind about my equipment.

          Sara2001

          ok thanks for the answer, i hope you realize that i don't want to talk you into anything. i try to put myself in this relationship, which is very difficult for me

          i don't think you would endanger your relationship if you took the equipment off, but i always wonder if it is a necessity. i think your kind of relationship could work without the chastity equipment and maybe you should think about alternatives

          but again i probably think more complicated than i should. sometimes i just have experimental ways of thinking 😂

            Sara2001 a fascinating answer. As someone in a relationship that borders on tpe, I can appreciate this.

            Even though I more or less volunteered, my opinion of the belt ranges from grudging acceptance to sheer hatred. It seems so painfully unfair to me that everyone in the works gets orgasms freely but I do not. Still, the inability to enjoy orgasm was built strongly into me long before I ever wore the belt. And I know that being locked into it represents my wife’s live for me and willingness to do what is best for my own good even if I complain about it. And if she took it off, I would question her love and commitment for me.

              Sara2001 here is another question for Daniel, in the context of what we have already heard: Knowing how much she hates it, how will you emotionally deal with the days that will come when her resentment spills over? Every belt wearer has bad days no matter how dedicated they are.

                  Angelina by the spelling of the name, i would rather say that it is a woman 🤣

                  At least,"Danielle" is more a woman's name in France too.

                  @Sara2001:Knowing your fiancé's answers,and how he explains his opinions is very interesting.Not easy to discuss this way,without talking directly to him on the board,but it seems it is an effective way for specific questions.

                  I'm not very fond of things like "reminder of her place",which is too much in domination/submission for me,but I understand better why he wants to make you wear chastity devices and how it feels for both of you.

                  Good he confirmed too he wouldn't make you continue wearing theses devices if it makes you very unhappy,and it seems he knows well how you feel in it.

                      Saintprudence Knowing how much she hates it, how will you emotionally deal with the days that will come when her resentment spills over? Every belt wearer has bad days no matter how dedicated they are.

                      Daniel gave me this answer (translated by me, I hope we understood it right, it's about what is done when I get angry):
                      No disrespect and no disobedience are two of the most important rules in our relationship. She knows when she rebells against her equipment, she will get punished for this. She has a space to discuss her thoughts about her belt, bra and tightbands in a calm and respectful way during her weekly maintenance, outside of this meeting I expect her to never argue against the belt or show any sign of resistance. The 2 corner times every day help her a lot to avoid lapses, the knowledge that the punishment will nothing she can enjoy does the rest. So she shows how hard it is for her from time to time but she never act up. There is nothing like a pause from our rules.

                          Vanessa I'm not very fond of things like "reminder of her place",which is too much in domination/submission for me

                          well i don't like this formulation either, because it borders too much on education, which for me is the task of parents and not of partners 🙂

                          Sara2001 She has a space to discuss her thoughts about her belt, bra and tightbands in a calm and respectful way during her weekly maintenance, outside of this meeting I expect her to never argue against the belt or show any sign of resistance.

                          Now calm and respectful discussion is very important to me and I support this discussion rule 🙂

                          but i don't think it's ok that this can only happen within a certain time frame. i think that a girl needs this conversation at this very moment when she is rebelling against the equipment, at least immediately after she has calmed down. i think emotional support is very important

                                Angelina i think emotional support is very important

                                I have learned that emotional support doesn't need an argument about the device to happen. I can always say that I feel very limited or restricted. Or that this or that is not easy in my equipment. But I must begin with something like "Of course I understand why this is necessary and I don't want to change your decision but..." or "I of course understand why this is necessary but...". Of course it must not only be a phrase but he has to believe me, so it has to be honest.

                                    Sara2001

                                    well, i understand that, but i still think it is very difficult, especially in those moments when emotions are very much against the devices. it is a complicated process and therefore one has to differentiate between emotional and rational words and actions
                                    I hope you understand what I mean

                                      Sara2001

                                      Are you allowed to try to fight it,or is it forbidden too?

                                      Angelina well i don't like this formulation either, because it borders too much on education, which for me is the task of parents and not of partners 🙂

                                      It seems common in relationship with a part of domination/submission.

                                      Angelina but i don't think it's ok that this can only happen within a certain time frame. i think that a girl needs this conversation at this very moment when she is rebelling against the equipment, at least immediately after she has calmed down. i think emotional support is very important

                                      I agree.Sometimes,we have more troubles to manage it,and start to fight it more and feel it harder emotionally.

                                      Sara2001

                                      Not perfect,but good you can discuss it with him,if you need it.Even if I don't find very useful to make you tell this sort of sentence each time.

                                                Vanessa Are you allowed to try to fight it,or is it forbidden too?

                                                You mean trying to get out of the belt? This is strictly forbidden. If I find a way around my belt, I have to report it to my father and Daniel, so they can stop it's existence. Not telling it would count as lying.

                                                Vanessa I agree.Sometimes,we have more troubles to manage it,and start to fight it more and feel it harder emotionally.

                                                I think it's very common to only be allowed to talk about the rules during maintenance talk. I feel anything else is a kind of back talking or not accepting his power.

                                                Vanessa Not perfect,but good you can discuss it with him,if you need it.Even if I don't find very useful to make you tell this sort of sentence each time.

                                                It's not necessary that it is exactly this sentence but it has to be very clear that I don't try to get rid of anything and that I still accept his rules and authority.

                                                        Vanessa It seems common in relationship with a part of domination/submission.

                                                        this is true, but I am not sure if it serves the purpose

                                                        Sara2001 If I find a way around my belt, I have to report it to my father and Daniel, so they can stop it's existence.

                                                        if you find a way, would you really tell Daniel or your father?

                                                        Sara2001 I feel anything else is a kind of back talking or not accepting his power.

                                                        nonsense, it is part of an open communication

                                                                Angelina if you find a way, would you really tell Daniel or your father?

                                                                Yes, that's very important for me.

                                                                Angelina nonsense, it is part of an open communication

                                                                Maybe completely open communication would make it possible. But in this aspect our communication is not completely open. I should not argue against my rules outside of the maintenance session.

                                                                      Sara2001
                                                                      a few more queries for Daniel, some of which you may have answered yourself, but the specifics intrigue me:

                                                                      Were you aware of belting before meeting Sara?

                                                                      what was your reaction to this state?

                                                                      knowing what it is like, what led you to conclude that keeping her belted was the most appropriate path forward?

                                                                      Whose idea was it that she remain locked?

                                                                      Sara is an adult and can make her own decisions, but are you at all concerned that you are asking her at a relatively young age for what appears to be a lifetime commitment to the belt?

                                                                          Sara2001 I should not argue against my rules outside of the maintenance session.

                                                                          and what about a discussion without argumentation ? i.e. one in which you both only let the facts be replicated

                                                                              His answers-

                                                                              Saintprudence Were you aware of belting before meeting Sara?

                                                                              Yes, my mother and sister are belted, too.

                                                                              Saintprudence what was your reaction to this state?

                                                                              It was clear from the very beginning, that she is belted, our parents asked (not forced) us to meet.

                                                                              Saintprudence knowing what it is like, what led you to conclude that keeping her belted was the most appropriate path forward?

                                                                              We had a boot camp, we decided to give it a try afterwards.

                                                                              Saintprudence Whose idea was it that she remain locked?

                                                                              My idea, based on our experiences of the boot camp and from what I know from our families.

                                                                              Saintprudence Sara is an adult and can make her own decisions, but are you at all concerned that you are asking her at a relatively young age for what appears to be a lifetime commitment to the belt?

                                                                              I think it is my responsibility that I see when something is to strict for her or makes her unhappy. This is my most important job. Beside this and as long as I ensure this, I don't think that I demand to much. She can be 100% sure that she will not have to accept something that makes her unhappy in the long run.

                                                                              Angelina and what about a discussion without argumentation ? i.e. one in which you both only let the facts be replicated

                                                                              Me again:
                                                                              I can talk about the impact of anything but not argue against it. This is reserved for maintenance sessions. I don't feel the need to talk about it outside of these sessions.

                                                                                            Sara2001 I don't feel the need to talk about it outside of these sessions.

                                                                                            at least in neutral discussions it is very difficult for me to believe that

                                                                                                Angelina at least in neutral discussions it is very difficult for me to believe that

                                                                                                Can you give an example? Maybe we have some missunderstanding.

                                                                                                    Sara2001

                                                                                                    well i don't know exactly when the day is when you can talk about it, let's say sunday for example. then i wonder if you have a neutral effect of the belt on you, why you don't want to talk about it on tuesday but only on sunday. you don't argue against the belt, you just say facts

                                                                                                    it is a little bit complicated to explain so I write the german text underneath

                                                                                                    nun ich weiß nicht genau wann der tag ist an dem du darüber reden darfst, sagen wir als beispiel sonntag. Dann frage ich mich wenn du zum beispiel eine neutrale auswirkung des gürtels auf dich hast, warum du nicht am dienstag sondern erst am sonntag mit ihm darüber sprechen willst. du argumentierst ja nicht gegen den gürtel, sondern sagst nur tatsachen