Partners on the forum

Angelina i think emotional support is very important

I have learned that emotional support doesn't need an argument about the device to happen. I can always say that I feel very limited or restricted. Or that this or that is not easy in my equipment. But I must begin with something like "Of course I understand why this is necessary and I don't want to change your decision but..." or "I of course understand why this is necessary but...". Of course it must not only be a phrase but he has to believe me, so it has to be honest.

Sara2001

Are you allowed to try to fight it,or is it forbidden too?

Angelina well i don't like this formulation either, because it borders too much on education, which for me is the task of parents and not of partners

It seems common in relationship with a part of domination/submission.

Angelina but i don't think it's ok that this can only happen within a certain time frame. i think that a girl needs this conversation at this very moment when she is rebelling against the equipment, at least immediately after she has calmed down. i think emotional support is very important

I agree.Sometimes,we have more troubles to manage it,and start to fight it more and feel it harder emotionally.

Sara2001

Not perfect,but good you can discuss it with him,if you need it.Even if I don't find very useful to make you tell this sort of sentence each time.

Vanessa Are you allowed to try to fight it,or is it forbidden too?

You mean trying to get out of the belt? This is strictly forbidden. If I find a way around my belt, I have to report it to my father and Daniel, so they can stop it's existence. Not telling it would count as lying.

Vanessa I agree.Sometimes,we have more troubles to manage it,and start to fight it more and feel it harder emotionally.

I think it's very common to only be allowed to talk about the rules during maintenance talk. I feel anything else is a kind of back talking or not accepting his power.

Vanessa Not perfect,but good you can discuss it with him,if you need it.Even if I don't find very useful to make you tell this sort of sentence each time.

It's not necessary that it is exactly this sentence but it has to be very clear that I don't try to get rid of anything and that I still accept his rules and authority.

Angelina if you find a way, would you really tell Daniel or your father?

Yes, that's very important for me.

Angelina nonsense, it is part of an open communication

Maybe completely open communication would make it possible. But in this aspect our communication is not completely open. I should not argue against my rules outside of the maintenance session.

Sara2001
a few more queries for Daniel, some of which you may have answered yourself, but the specifics intrigue me:

Were you aware of belting before meeting Sara?

what was your reaction to this state?

knowing what it is like, what led you to conclude that keeping her belted was the most appropriate path forward?

Whose idea was it that she remain locked?

Sara is an adult and can make her own decisions, but are you at all concerned that you are asking her at a relatively young age for what appears to be a lifetime commitment to the belt?

His answers-

Saintprudence Were you aware of belting before meeting Sara?

Yes, my mother and sister are belted, too.

Saintprudence what was your reaction to this state?

It was clear from the very beginning, that she is belted, our parents asked (not forced) us to meet.

Saintprudence knowing what it is like, what led you to conclude that keeping her belted was the most appropriate path forward?

We had a boot camp, we decided to give it a try afterwards.

Saintprudence Whose idea was it that she remain locked?

My idea, based on our experiences of the boot camp and from what I know from our families.

Saintprudence Sara is an adult and can make her own decisions, but are you at all concerned that you are asking her at a relatively young age for what appears to be a lifetime commitment to the belt?

I think it is my responsibility that I see when something is to strict for her or makes her unhappy. This is my most important job. Beside this and as long as I ensure this, I don't think that I demand to much. She can be 100% sure that she will not have to accept something that makes her unhappy in the long run.

Angelina and what about a discussion without argumentation ? i.e. one in which you both only let the facts be replicated

Me again:
I can talk about the impact of anything but not argue against it. This is reserved for maintenance sessions. I don't feel the need to talk about it outside of these sessions.

Angelina at least in neutral discussions it is very difficult for me to believe that

Can you give an example? Maybe we have some missunderstanding.

Angelina well i don't know exactly when the day is when you can talk about it, let's say sunday for example. then i wonder if you have a neutral effect of the belt on you, why you don't want to talk about it on tuesday but only on sunday. you don't argue against the belt, you just say facts

Oh, I hope I understand what you mean. I am allowed to talk about things like that, like when I have an itching under the belt or something or another effect. I can say that it is there, I can say that I think it would be better to take care of the area. All this is perfectly okay. But I am not allowed to argue against the belt like, that I have said it before that I will get trouble or that I don't like these situations or anything similar.

Sara2001 You mean trying to get out of the belt?

Yes.

Sara2001 If I find a way around my belt, I have to report it to my father and Daniel, so they can stop it's existence.

Not punished for it?

Sara2001 It's not necessary that it is exactly this sentence but it has to be very clear that I don't try to get rid of anything and that I still accept his rules and authority.

Not sure it is useful to say the same meaning at each time,however.

Sara2001

If I understood well,if there is a problem which need to be solved,you can talk about it,but not for asking to be free or telling you don't like to have it on,and such,right?

Vanessa Not punished for it?

Difficult question. Most probably not. Only if I use the way before telling that I found it.

Vanessa Not sure it is useful to say the same meaning at each time,however.

It's useful, it became kind of a mantra or at least it works similar. I am now sure that it is not only words but that it is very true.

Vanessa If I understood well,if there is a problem which need to be solved,you can talk about it,but not for asking to be free or telling you don't like to have it on,and such,right?

Yes, anything else would be irresponsible or disobedient. That's how it's working.

Hello Sarah's Fiance, maybe you are not getting as warm a welcome as you deserve because you seemed mysterious or dangerous before everyone met you?
I think your engagement is very exciting because I have gone through this same thing.

About reminding Sarah of her place you don't need to use any force to do that, nature already does that no matter how bratty a girl could act... I was rude to my fiance because I wanted to push back against him. He is always great to me so I don't remember why I felt that way but I did.

Anyway the greatest power or influence you have is the opposite of what you think it is through affection and joy. I complained and pushed back against every little thing that my Fiance did until we finally made love. At first I scared him by passing out every time we made love and rightfully so because I could choke when unconscious. He opens my mouth and puts me with my Neck straight and tongue out of the way.
After some time just being together I just feel so warm inside like an electric pulse and so emotional too. I used to be kinda judgmental or stubborn like @Laura or others but now I just sort of naturally want to accommodate.

Let nature take it's course and don't be afraid of rebellion. Never hit or make our wife uncomfortable with any sort of thigh bands or cornertime. If you do you are only robbing yourself.

In the US there are a lot of women called "Karens" that go out of their way to bother other people especially men and you can just watch all that fall apart from a good safe distance you don't have to use force to restore nature natrue will do what is natural.
(please translate @Sara2001 )

Angelina i think it could be very difficult for you not to use this way or ?

I never found a way, so that's a very theoretical question I am not sure how difficult it is. I don't think that I would feel good when using it. I feel like it's a form of cheating. Daniel doesn't want me to have an orgasm or sexual stimulation by playing with myself, so I don't play with myself. I am horny enough from other situations, like when he plays with my breasts.

Megan This is his answer:
I think this is a complete different way to maintain a relationship. I don't think it would fit to our lifestyle. For us, the existence of limitations and punishments are an aspect we enjoy very much. Both of us think it's very sexy that there are awfull consequences for her, if she doesn't act as expected. We often talk about it, we want this kind of pressure and structure in our relationship. We want to feel that I have much more power then she has, that things are no longer her free choice.
From what I can see, she is happier then ever in our dynamic and she is living under the strictest rules she ever had, much stricter then her mother's rules or any other setup that was ever used in her home. She makes very clear to me, that she likes the feeling of having a tough and very clear structure in her life and that she enjoys that she must only follow my rules and orders and doesn't have to worry much about other things.