Erection and chastity belt

Michael good keyholder

A good keyholder knows if you're trying to tell him you have problems with the cage / belt when you just want to get out to be able to cheat.
A good keyholder is caring about you. She / he can tease you from time to time so you don't get too frustrated (if you like that) and understands that you need opening for cleaning and erections.
And a good keyholder can resist when you beg and beg for a release, if you want to be chaste

... there are diffent ways of being locked. Just wearing it as lifestyle of because you don't want to be able to habe sex ... or because you don't want to be able to masturbate ... or because you want to be teased and denied.

Michael The other way around, that a keyholder might open the belt too often because he/she is too easily talked into opening it, might be a problem.

this can happen, of course, but it would not put you in a dangerous situation

We all agree that a good keyholder hast to unlock the belt in a case of emergency and so on and I would never surrender my keys to someone I cannot trust 100%.

However, I think there is a difference if you have been asked to wear a belt by your keyholder in contrast of you asking someone to hold the key for you.
In the fist case you can be relatively sure that the keyholder wants to keep you locked and would not be easily talked into giving you the keys.
The second case is my case. It is my wish to be locked into a belt but that does not exclude some weak moments when I ask for the key. If I asked someone to hold the keys it is more likely that she would then give in and unlock me. Later I might regret this. Therefore for me it is a problem when the keyholder is not strict enough.
Expecting from a keyholder to always distinguish between real problems or pseudo problems (being too horny, lack of control at the moment) is not easy for everyone and can be stressful.
Taking a key for a keyholder therefore is not only taking responsability.

Timmuh Hey Tim. Now first of all: Is the cage comfortable?

Max9 hey, for the most part yes expect for erections and Sometimes it feels odd but theres no pain or anything so far.

Timmuh Only erections in the night or is it a pulsive feeling every time you get hard? Is it at the base ring, the skin umder the base ring or the cylinder?

Introduction topic is not a I write everything that I have in my brain.
And for some of you have a lot of warnings..

Michael it is more likely that she would then give in and unlock me.

yes, in this case, the key holder must behave as if the wearer were involuntarily wearing the belt

Ines

and I keep saying that it is almost impossible to end a fluent discussion

Michael couch it in terms of “tough love.” Act as if you consider masturbation an addiction to be overcome. Tell her that unlocking you for any non-emergency reason is akin to being friends with an alcoholic and supplying them with drink. Tell her “you do more good for your friend by being firm and helping them navigate their own boundaries, rather than giving in to my immediate weakness. “

Angelina

Angelina and I keep saying that it is almost impossible to end a fluent discussion

I do not want end any conversation. I only want you have that conversation in the proper place.
It is introduction topic.

Michael What do you mean exactly? What does define to be a good keyholder in general or what aspects do you mean that are relevant especially for me?

What @Angelina and @Max9 answered,and I would add talk often with you,if you need to,and try to understand how it feels for you,physically and emotionally.

Angelina

Sure.

Michael

I'm not sure too,but,anyway,it means it can damage the penis.

Angelina so a cage for the testicles?

A chastity cage.

Michael The other way around, that a keyholder might open the belt too often because he/she is too easily talked into opening it, might be a problem.

You should talk about it before,or after it happened once,to be sure she understand,that,even if you try a lot to make her open it sooner than planed/supposed to,she should not accept.It can be hard for her,but I think she could manage it.

Michael The second case is my case. It is my wish to be locked into a belt but that does not exclude some weak moments when I ask for the key. If I asked someone to hold the keys it is more likely that she would then give in and unlock me. Later I might regret this. Therefore for me it is a problem when the keyholder is not strict enough.

For it,talking is the key().

Michael Expecting from a keyholder to always distinguish between real problems or pseudo problems (being too horny, lack of control at the moment) is not easy for everyone and can be stressful.

It would need some time,but she would probably finally be able to recognize it.

Angelina and I keep saying that it is almost impossible to end a fluent discussion

But it can be done in the appropriate topic,maybe with a link to it,and copying our last answer in it.

Michael How can I convince her, that right now I want her to refuse to unlock me no matter what reason I might bring up
even if I then might say that it wasn't meant that way or that I have changed my mind about this kind of enforcement?
What arguments would you use to convice her to adopt a role of a strict keyholder?

You should tell her she should not unlock you when you ask her,no matter what you say,except a "safeword" which mean she should take it off immediately.But,if you use it without a good reason,it should mean she would not accept to be your keyholder anymore,to make you avoid using it only because you want to be free with no good reasons.

Michael I hope it is ok that I continue this discussion or should a create a new topic for how to approach a gf as a keyholder with regard to the possible problems that I have mentioned earlier?

Better to create a new topic,or post in a related one.

Saintprudence

Good example.

Michael How can I convince her,

i think i am the wrong person for this, but i would tell her that as soon as she gets the key, she has to treat you as if you do not wear the belt voluntarily, the exact conditions should be written down

Michael I hope it is ok that I continue this discussion

@Ines has already assigned it to the right topic

Ines I only want you have that conversation in the proper place.

i know what you want, but i think it is not always possible without sometimes destroying discussions

Vanessa and I would add talk often with you

right, perhaps even the most important point

Vanessa except a "safeword" which mean she should take it off immediately.But,if you use it without a good reason,it should mean she would not accept to be your keyholder anymore,

good idea, i wanted to write it first, too, but thought that he might misuse it then, but this is how it can work

Angelina the exact conditions should be written down

I tend less to use contracts or similar,but writing rules when thinking about it,even if not as a contract,may help them to find ones and make these clear enough.

Angelina good idea, i wanted to write it first, too, but thought that he might misuse it then, but this is how it can work

That's why it should have important consequences if misusing it.

Vanessa ,but writing rules when thinking about it,even if not as a contract,

it does not have to be a contract, a sheet of paper with the most important rules would be enough, it only serves as protection against abuse

Vanessa That's why it should have important consequences if misusing it.

right, good idea