@Foxies > "However, I have always found it interesting that evolution permitted the orgasmic sensation to be achievable in a solo setting. That never made much sense. Or did our genes evolve a mechanism that masturbation is frowned on even though the orgasmic experience is still intense?"

First of all, evolution doesn't have to make sense. If this was the case homosexuality wouldn't exist (I really having nothing against it in the contrary it's the diversity that makes this world this beautiful and working). Evolution works through try and error. And we want to see a sense in everything that sorrounds us. And mostly we didn't find a sense or if there is one we didn't find it yet.

I see it more in a biological way how our body works. If we get hungry and eat something the food expands our stomach. This gives us a feel of satisfaction. And if we are eating in a group the satisfaction is greater. Because not only our stomach sends a signal that he is full and our brain is satisfied by it. There are many other inputs (good talking, laughing, .... [my english is really to bad to explain it the way I want]). So with all these different inputs the satisfactions become greater.

And with masturbation or sex with your partner (can be more than one at the same time ;-) ) it's the same. When you stimulated certain points of your body you can get an orgasm. And if your partner does it, it is even greater.

Jonas Do people actually need to masturbate?

No need, but want.
If you really like to know what you like and how you like it in a physical and "emotional" (can't find the right word right now) way you should do it. And yes it's better to explore it with your partner. But sometimes there are things you have to explore for yourself first.

      Ines Another different thing is when we are married.

      Then it's "duty" 😂

          Laura
          I hope it never becomes in a duty! 😅

            Jonas

            i would say it's like smoking, most people don't really need it, but there can be inflammation and it's very hard to quit. so it's more a want. but i must also say that without sex, humanity would no longer exist for long

                Angelina Quit smoking sure is hard, but worth it. After I beat my cravings to smoke, I became strong enough to change anything about myself. I can even cope with sexual frustration! *

                *At least some of the time 😉

                    Kurt I think the more you give yourself sexual pleasure, the less you need a partner and the more your eye starts to wander. Conversely, if your partner is your whole sexual world, your eye is fully fixed on them!!

                        Jonas I think we have the same opinions. I'm just to lazy to express myself clearly in my bad english. Seriously I never believed my teachers that I would need english again and they were so right about it.
                        So I try to express myself in a better way. This will be a short explanation and doesn't cover everything I want to write about it.

                        Masturbation itself isn't bad I think we have the same opinion about it.
                        I think in a young age (maybe 14 - 25 I don't want to draw a sharp line) you need it to understand what you like and how you like it (and with this I mean explore everything even parts of the so called fetish world). To talk about more decent, don't think you know anything about metal music if you only listened to 2 or 3 songs or even 2 or 3 bands.
                        [And yeah again I described it way to short so maybe many of you get the wrong idea of what I mean, we will see...]
                        Somethings you need to explore with yourself first and somethings you can only explore with a partner. And if you have build your knowledge base you can start to make better decisions. Because you don't have to say anymore "I think..." or "I believe..." instead you can say "I know...".
                        [Yeah and again this description is way to short.]
                        So real chastity the way you and Fatherof3 describe should start when your knowledge base is set and you know what you want from the world.
                        More words that I thought but way to short to express myself so you really understand what I mean. But if I'm right about your thinking you will understand the core of what I want to express. Even if I don't know how many grammar, tenses and other mistakes this text has.

                            Kurt
                            It acceptable for a boy, but it is awful for a girl. Obviously is my opinion, but for me there are things, smoke for example, that are not good, but in girls is much worse.

                                Kurt Thank you for making such a great effort to write. I can understand you well.

                                Masturbation itself isn't bad

                                Somethings you need to explore with yourself first and somethings you can only explore with a partner.

                                I understand exactly what you're saying and I'm sure it's true for many people.

                                However, my personal experience has led me to conclude that masturbation was bad for me. I would have done better had I waited for a partner and been entirely focused on her rather than on the fantasies I developed through masturbation. Chastity works for me now and would have worked then,

                                I do not think those in chastity (or those trying to save their virginity for marriage) should masturbate.

                                    Ines

                                    It acceptable for a boy, but it is awful for a girl. Obviously is my opinion, but for me there are things, smoke for example, that are not good, but in girls is much worse.

                                    Ines, you write elsewhere that there are girls for whom chastity doesn't suit (for reasons of temperament etc).

                                    Could you agree that might be men for whom chastity also suits very well (...perfectly, in fact)? Again for reasons of temperament etc.

                                    Eg: I feel that my choice to wear a chastity belt corrects my selfishness and excess.

                                    • Ines replied to this.

                                        Kurt Sure. masturbation is fun and all. Feels good yes. However. Not necessarily a need. Sex is still possible without having had masturbated ever. It would probably be a surprise when you first climax. lol.

                                            Jonas I agree. To a point. It depends on why you are chastised. If for saving yourself for marriage. Then sure. Why not. Might make being in chastity more difficult. lol.
                                            If you were caught masturbating while Grandma was visiting. then. May be you have a problem that could be remedied with chastity. If agreed upon of coarse.
                                            If you have a problem with excluding your partner with extra curricular activities. Yes. Masturbation should not be happening while in chastity.

                                              Jonas

                                              well, i've heard that the desire for cigarettes diminishes at some point, but i don't know if this also applies to sexual pleasure.

                                              Fatherof3 It would probably be a surprise when you first climax. lol.

                                              hmm... i wonder how an orgasm feels for someone who has never masturbated before having sex for the first time. must be a very exciting but maybe also scary feeling.

                                                    Angelina well, i've heard that the desire for cigarettes diminishes at some point,

                                                    Absolutely yes it does. And the cravings no longer govern your behaviour.

                                                    but i don't know if this also applies to sexual pleasure.

                                                    I think Ivana on MisterPoll is correct:

                                                    "Also, for me, there were frustrating moments, where I desperately tried to defeat my own cb. It always kept firm, yet, and I am glad about that. For my girls, too, I have indications that they tried things, which is just natural. In case our cbs would perfectly prevent any attempt to access from the very beginning, we all would give in any attempts after short time and as a consequence, it would become less frustrating for us. "

                                                    Certainly when quitting smoking it was the stopping and starting that was the torture. Once you've absolutely stopped, or cigarettes are out of reach, you accept the situation.

                                                    Angelina hmm... i wonder how an orgasm feels for someone who has never masturbated before having sex for the first time. must be a very exciting but maybe also scary feeling.

                                                    Would also help to make a very strong bond with your partner I think.

                                                          Jonas Would also help to make a very strong bond with your partner I think.

                                                          maybe, but i won't find out, despite the belt, because i already masturbated before my relationship.

                                                              Angelina I think it's more about the time spent without masturbating that makes the difference. This is why I understand when people on here return to chastity following divorce. Everyone can choose to "save" themselves for a future partner and it's an amazing gift at any time.

                                                                  Jonas
                                                                  Jonas, I only share my opinion that is not more or less valid than other.
                                                                  In my opinion, the relationship with keyholder have to be based in trust, but it is true that it involves a bit of hierarchy, and, a boy does not fit as wearer here.
                                                                  Of course, if a boy wish it I am not anyone to deny it.

                                                                  Jonas Ines, you write elsewhere that there are girls for whom chastity doesn't suit (for reasons of temperament etc).

                                                                  I believe firmly in this. And I have an example in home. However, probably it can change with time, I believe.

                                                                        Thank you for answering my question @Ines. I understand that you're stating your opinion.

                                                                        Ines is true that it involves a bit of hierarchy, and, a boy does not fit as wearer here.

                                                                        I can understand this. Both the traditional male role as head of a household and a marriage of equals is changed where one party holds such power over another. However, what if the key were in a safe, safe-deposit, or with another trusted party such as a parent?

                                                                        The male is disempowered, not within his marriage or relationship, but by his own action. Chastity becomes his personal choice and the belt becomes a part of who he chooses to be and how he chooses to act (or not act).

                                                                        Could this work, in your opinion?

                                                                        • Ines replied to this.