Is sex a "want" or a "need"?
Jonas I think we have the same opinions. I'm just to lazy to express myself clearly in my bad english. Seriously I never believed my teachers that I would need english again and they were so right about it.
So I try to express myself in a better way. This will be a short explanation and doesn't cover everything I want to write about it.
Masturbation itself isn't bad I think we have the same opinion about it.
I think in a young age (maybe 14 - 25 I don't want to draw a sharp line) you need it to understand what you like and how you like it (and with this I mean explore everything even parts of the so called fetish world). To talk about more decent, don't think you know anything about metal music if you only listened to 2 or 3 songs or even 2 or 3 bands.
[And yeah again I described it way to short so maybe many of you get the wrong idea of what I mean, we will see...]
Somethings you need to explore with yourself first and somethings you can only explore with a partner. And if you have build your knowledge base you can start to make better decisions. Because you don't have to say anymore "I think..." or "I believe..." instead you can say "I know...".
[Yeah and again this description is way to short.]
So real chastity the way you and Fatherof3 describe should start when your knowledge base is set and you know what you want from the world.
More words that I thought but way to short to express myself so you really understand what I mean. But if I'm right about your thinking you will understand the core of what I want to express. Even if I don't know how many grammar, tenses and other mistakes this text has.
Kurt Thank you for making such a great effort to write. I can understand you well.
Masturbation itself isn't bad
Somethings you need to explore with yourself first and somethings you can only explore with a partner.
I understand exactly what you're saying and I'm sure it's true for many people.
However, my personal experience has led me to conclude that masturbation was bad for me. I would have done better had I waited for a partner and been entirely focused on her rather than on the fantasies I developed through masturbation. Chastity works for me now and would have worked then,
I do not think those in chastity (or those trying to save their virginity for marriage) should masturbate.
- Edited
It acceptable for a boy, but it is awful for a girl. Obviously is my opinion, but for me there are things, smoke for example, that are not good, but in girls is much worse.
Ines, you write elsewhere that there are girls for whom chastity doesn't suit (for reasons of temperament etc).
Could you agree that might be men for whom chastity also suits very well (...perfectly, in fact)? Again for reasons of temperament etc.
Eg: I feel that my choice to wear a chastity belt corrects my selfishness and excess.
Jonas I agree. To a point. It depends on why you are chastised. If for saving yourself for marriage. Then sure. Why not. Might make being in chastity more difficult. lol.
If you were caught masturbating while Grandma was visiting. then. May be you have a problem that could be remedied with chastity. If agreed upon of coarse.
If you have a problem with excluding your partner with extra curricular activities. Yes. Masturbation should not be happening while in chastity.
well, i've heard that the desire for cigarettes diminishes at some point, but i don't know if this also applies to sexual pleasure.
Fatherof3 It would probably be a surprise when you first climax. lol.
hmm... i wonder how an orgasm feels for someone who has never masturbated before having sex for the first time. must be a very exciting but maybe also scary feeling.
- Edited
Angelina well, i've heard that the desire for cigarettes diminishes at some point,
Absolutely yes it does. And the cravings no longer govern your behaviour.
but i don't know if this also applies to sexual pleasure.
I think Ivana on MisterPoll is correct:
"Also, for me, there were frustrating moments, where I desperately tried to defeat my own cb. It always kept firm, yet, and I am glad about that. For my girls, too, I have indications that they tried things, which is just natural. In case our cbs would perfectly prevent any attempt to access from the very beginning, we all would give in any attempts after short time and as a consequence, it would become less frustrating for us. "
Certainly when quitting smoking it was the stopping and starting that was the torture. Once you've absolutely stopped, or cigarettes are out of reach, you accept the situation.
Angelina hmm... i wonder how an orgasm feels for someone who has never masturbated before having sex for the first time. must be a very exciting but maybe also scary feeling.
Would also help to make a very strong bond with your partner I think.
Jonas
Jonas, I only share my opinion that is not more or less valid than other.
In my opinion, the relationship with keyholder have to be based in trust, but it is true that it involves a bit of hierarchy, and, a boy does not fit as wearer here.
Of course, if a boy wish it I am not anyone to deny it.
Jonas Ines, you write elsewhere that there are girls for whom chastity doesn't suit (for reasons of temperament etc).
I believe firmly in this. And I have an example in home. However, probably it can change with time, I believe.
Thank you for answering my question @Ines. I understand that you're stating your opinion.
Ines is true that it involves a bit of hierarchy, and, a boy does not fit as wearer here.
I can understand this. Both the traditional male role as head of a household and a marriage of equals is changed where one party holds such power over another. However, what if the key were in a safe, safe-deposit, or with another trusted party such as a parent?
The male is disempowered, not within his marriage or relationship, but by his own action. Chastity becomes his personal choice and the belt becomes a part of who he chooses to be and how he chooses to act (or not act).
Could this work, in your opinion?
Jonas Everyone can choose to "save" themselves for a future partner and it's an amazing gift at any time.
well, i would only do it if i knew there was a future partner. if i wore the belt because my father told me at the time: "you wear the belt to be a gift for your dream woman" i might think differently.
Jonas Could this work, in your opinion?
Of course it can works, for someone, but, of course, a man wearing chastity belt is out of sight for me.
I can not share any reason to see a man wearing it.
Jonas or with another trusted party such as a parent?
I do not like see a man without capability of decision, precisely, for me is one of the most important thinks in you.
Want for me, definitely. Make this into a poll, that would make things interesting.