Angelina

My feelings are that labels like "BDSM" etc. facilitate communication. But they are approximate and are useless when trying to get a detailed understanding of the emotional states involved. Acronyms are even worse. S can be used for sadism or slave, and M for masochism or Master/Mistress/Ma'am etc. which are actually the opposites of each other.

On this forum, a chastity belt is variously described as an instrument of bondage, or a safety device (And a few other terms in between). They can be worn willingly or non-consensually (shudders). Like every tool or technology invented by humans, they can be used for good or ill.

I believe the value of this forum is we can get beyond labels and discuss our own, highly individual viewpoints and find ideas that make us think. Several times I have had "knee jerk" reactions to comments made here, yet the discussions that follow occasionally make me think: WOW! I never thought of that!

      Vanessa BDSM means,if I'm right:Bondage Domination Submission Masochism.In @Sara2001's relationship with her boyfriend,there is a part of domination/submission;yes,but nothing hint that they like/use bondage nor that @Sara2001 would be a masochist...

      Bondage Domintion Submission Sadism Masochism. Yes, It's a category of fetishes. One of the fetishes insde of this category is DS (Domination & Submission).

          Vanessa but nothing hint that they like/use bondage

          I see a cb, chastity bra and thighs band, you can hardly takes stairs, as a bondage.

              Foxies I believe the value of this forum is we can get beyond labels and discuss our own, highly individual viewpoints and find ideas that make us think.

              i think so too, i agree with you on this point and i would like to stress that i am not in favour of using "labels" in a bold way either. but i think it is also important to say how we define terms like bdsm for ourselves so that there is no communicative problem. 🙂

              Joh

              belt and bra rather not, we can discuss the thigh bands

                    Angelina

                    I agree it promotes communication when everyone has the same understandings of the terms of reference. Sadly, this is all too rarely the case, particularly when the terms can arouse such strong emotions.

                        Joh

                        In a real sense, all chastity devices and accessories are bondage devices. They limit choice by design. But this doesn't mean that it has anything necessarily to do with kink. Wedding rings are symbols of bondage where the wearer is bound to their partner. I do not see any kink or fetish in that.

                            Joh Why not? Your bust and sex is bound in metal.

                            I wear them as clothing as I like the supportive feeling. Maybe if I had not been introduced to it a long time ago I wouldn't be as addicted to it but that is what it is supportive clothing. I do not have any experience at all with thighbands or anything else as it was not necessary on me.

                              Vanessa If would be the case if it is Emilie who would make me wear it and has my keys.

                              That would not necessarily force you into any labels as some of those labels like Machoism can be kind of creepy and porn related.

                                Ines

                                A masochist likes pain,and can be aroused by it,I think;it seems to not be the case of @Sara2001.

                                Angelina well the chastity equipment or at least the thigh bands could be considered bondage, besides she once wrote here that her hands are tied when she takes a shower, that is already a bit bondage for me.

                                Maybe,yes.But,about it too,@Sara2001 accepts it,but may not like it.

                                Foxies Acronyms are even worse. S can be used for sadism or slave, and M for masochism or Master/Mistress/Ma'am etc. which are actually the opposites of each other.

                                I was not sure about the "S" in BDSM too...I doubt the "M" would be "Master" as there is already this concept by "D"(Domination).

                                Foxies I believe the value of this forum is we can get beyond labels and discuss our own, highly individual viewpoints

                                I agree.

                                Max9

                                You think the "S" in BDSM implies both possibilities?

                                Joh

                                Especially due to thigh bands,not much to other chastity devices.

                                Joh

                                But not as restrictive for walking or taking stairs than the thigh bands.

                                                Joh Why not? Your bust and sex is bound in metal.

                                                yes, but not every metal is bdsm , or would you call a saw a bdsm ? 😂

                                                Foxies when everyone has the same understandings of the terms of reference. Sadly, this is all too rarely the case,

                                                and that is why i always explain how i define things so that i am understood 🙂

                                                Vanessa Maybe,yes.But,about it too,@Sara2001 accepts it,but may not like it.

                                                yes, that's true it seems to me that she accepts but doesn't really like it, she rather likes how happy her boyfriend is about it

                                                        Vanessa A masochist likes pain,and can be aroused by it,

                                                        It can be more subtle. An since someone is happy being beaten if is not masochism, it is very close.

                                                            Vanessa You think the "S" in BDSM implies both possibilities?

                                                            Yes, that's the way I know it. Some say it means Bondage Discipline Sadism and Masochism.... as there is no official comitee who does generalize it there are theese few etablished meanings.

                                                                Ines That is something I will never understand. How on earth can somebody like pain, especkally cbt?
                                                                There's litterly nothing I learned to fear more than that.
                                                                I have learned that a strong partner can also make you feel protected, not only being in danger... but pain?????

                                                                    Max9

                                                                    i agree with you, it would be something absurd for me which i would never accept, but @Sara2001 is happy, so we should accept it 🙂

                                                                        Foxies In a real sense, all chastity devices and accessories are bondage devices. They limit choice by design. But this doesn't mean that it has anything necessarily to do with kink. Wedding rings are symbols of bondage where the wearer is bound to their partner. I do not see any kink or fetish in that.

                                                                        I was not talking about kink, only about what it be for the those who are forced to wear it. For many of you it has another purpose like @Ines she feels save for @Max9 he can handle his life better for @Sara2001 now she wears if for hers bf. @Angelina is forced to wear it and she has arrange her life around it but she looks forward to getting it off.
                                                                        I prefer to name it like it is and if you happy with it than go with it.

                                                                          Vanessa A masochist likes pain

                                                                          A masochist accept the pain.

                                                                              Angelina yes, but not every metal is bdsm , or would you call a saw a bdsm ?

                                                                              Please consider my answer in the whole discussion. I was not talking about metal at general I was talking about the restriction to tough yourself at you bust and sex. I also not understand piercing at it is as bondage or only BDSM related. For me it is jewellery other could use it for kink. It always depends on the point of view.

                                                                                  Joh

                                                                                  that's right, i would rather say that it is used as a means of education in my case, the aim being that it restricts me. other parents have other means of education that i don't have.

                                                                                  and that's exactly why i can't see it as a bdsm device (although of course it is also used for bdsm). 🙂

                                                                                  • Joh replied to this.

                                                                                      Angelina yes, but not every metal is bdsm , or would you call a saw a bdsm ? 😂

                                                                                      But I guess you haven't a saw locked on you!😉

                                                                                      Angelina yes, that's true it seems to me that she accepts but doesn't really like it, she rather likes how happy her boyfriend is about it

                                                                                      I think so.

                                                                                      Ines An since someone is happy being beaten if is not masochism, it is very close.

                                                                                      But what if @Sara2001 isn't happy(about her spanking)?

                                                                                      Max9 Yes, that's the way I know it.

                                                                                      Seems possible too,yes.

                                                                                      Angelina

                                                                                      I think the same.Not something I like myself,but as long as she's happy about this lifestyle and not in danger,no problem.

                                                                                      However,I always felt,@Sara2001 like this lifestyle in general,but not especially the pain.

                                                                                      Joh

                                                                                      The definition of it is:

                                                                                      masochism (countable and uncountable, plural masochisms)

                                                                                      The enjoyment of receiving pain or humiliation.