Refusing

a_father

Laura I don't need to wear a belt 24/7 to remain virgin

Tell this your parents. But you know the answer. You can only stop it yourself, they won't. Here on the forum you have sometimes a very sarcstic way saying things. If you behave the same in real life, you may evict potential partners before they find out you are not as bad as you seem in the beginning. Or have you given up in the meantime?

a_father

Jen But it feels like understanding more will help restore our relationship.

You should make clear you want a good relationship but no chastity belt. In this case she has to understand you, not vice versa. Otherwise she is happy in the end and you wear the belt. If the belt is the condition for a good relationship it is blackmailing and not worth fighting for. You should make clear, buying the belt was a very bad idea and damaged the realtionship additionally. Don't forget, not only you have to understand, she has too. Both should akt as if the belt wasn't here and find a solution without the belt.
If you agree wearing the belt, she will be so proud of you, but don't forget, she is proud of herself because she made you wearing the belt. Parents know the weak points of children and take advantage of them. And which child doesn't want parents to be proud of. This whole feel-good story afterwards is just about getting your mom what she wants. Sure the stories, she tells about her life to get your understanding are true? And even if she had bad or good experiences, these are not your experiences. No reason for you to give up your freedom. Imagine, you have to ask your mom afterwards for permission if you want to touch your private parts!

Angelina

Joh Also @Jen is not a virgin any more. The CB makes no sense in this context

i thought she was still a virgin (sorry if i forgot), 😮 otherwise yes, if she is no longer a virgin i agree with you

Jen I understand more just how upset she was when she found my toy.

So she expected your first orgasm to be with your husband and was disappointed when she realised it wasn't. ?

Jen then they likely could have convinced me.

this is the best way, but it only works if parents and daughters have roughly the same idea of sex and masturbation.

Jen But it feels like understanding more will help restore our relationship.

that's exactly the way it is and showing understanding doesn't mean you immediately end up in the belt. make your point clear but show understanding 🙂

a_father

Angelina that's exactly the way it is and showing understanding doesn't mean you immediately end up in the belt. make your point clear but show understanding 🙂

But she has to make clear, that understanding does not mean wearing the belt. You can understand the other without doing what they want. Understanding is necessary on both sides.@Angelina, you should know best. Your father shows understanding, but does he unlock you?
Understanding the position of the others means only, I understand how you feel / what you think. That does not mean, you agree.

Vanessa

Gina

So,even if you don't like it much,you're more a voluntary wearer,now?

Jen Any conversation like that will make things worse.

Anyway,it seems you can't make it better by talking about it,at least...So not a good way to avoid it.

Jen Well yes, but it is becoming a proper argument

The topic of the chastity belt seems to make the ambience worse in your home,and not only for you...

So,it is your father who is on your side about it,and would accept you don't wear it?

Joh You are not really a virgin anymore

She's not physically virgin.

Angelina that is certainly what most parents want

Probably,yes.

Angelina parents can still come up with the idea of permanent wearing after a few years. 🙁

Yes.And unexpectedly,in my case.

Angelina right, she should be extremely careful, thighbands are probably not explicitly planned but could be ordered later on

Right,as they order the D-rings.

Renita It can be restored 😃

A bit extreme in @Jen's case...

HHelen You can use it as an argument

Difficult to make them trust her,I guess.

Jen I understand more just how upset she was when she found my toy.

Good you start to understand each other a bit more.

Jen Would I then be writing like you do now?

Not necessarily;it depends on each people.

Lana

I agree,the deal is not too bad,in your case.

Laura I had the same plan. Good luck 😂

Let's hope it goes better in her case!😉

Laura

Very sad and angry to hear this,I guess.

Jen understanding more will help restore our relationship.

I think so,too.

Laura I don't need to wear a belt 24/7 to remain virgin

Sure,it isn't needed.

Saintprudence

It is often what is thought,so harder to ask for being unlocked when locked for a long time without too much problems before...

Angelina So she expected your first orgasm to be with your husband and was disappointed when she realised it wasn't. ?

Good question.

Angelina this is the best way, but it only works if parents and daughters have roughly the same idea of sex and masturbation.

Which is not at all the case for @Jen.

Jen

Vanessa She's not physically virgin.

I think really a virgin just not physically. But it's ok for others to view it differently.

Vanessa ambience worse in your home

School has started again now so it's not so bad. Not much has been said to me, yes Dad is more realistic and Mum more moody. They are still disagreeing otherwise something would have been said to me.

Angelina So she expected your first orgasm to be with your husband and was disappointed when she realised it wasn't. ?

I guess she thinks it should be that way but I don't know how she could have expected it. Orgasm has never been talked about. Maybe she hoped, or didn't like but tolerated. I think the hymen and sex toys were both big issues for her so both yeah. Actually I think sex toys is what she was talking about the other day so never for her. Urgh it was awkward at the time and weird to think about now.

Angelina this is the best way, but it only works if parents and daughters have roughly the same idea of sex and masturbation.

Well I agree with them on half of that. But my point was I was in a fragile state - I'm much better now. The first night when I ran off I was at my limit, if they kept pushing I think I would have caved.

Angelina

a_father But she has to make clear, that understanding does not mean wearing the belt.

of course, i agree with you on this point

a_father Your father shows understanding, but does he unlock you?

no, but that is also because I have more understanding for him than he has for me.

a_father Understanding the position of the others means only, I understand how you feel / what you think. That does not mean, you agree.

that's right, so it is for me with 99% of your posts 😂

Renita

Saintprudence and they know that there is only one reason for a long-term belted to request to be unlocked more often.

Usually two, but only one in her case 😃

Joh

Jen I disagree.

Let me describe in a more sophisticated way what I am getting at.

By the destruction of your hymen you are technically no longer a virgin. However, since you have not yet been intimate with someone else, you are of course still a virgin in terms of your experience and feelings.
Your mother gave you to understand that she went into marriage as a virgin. Possibly even without having experienced an orgasm before. For her and your father it was something very special. That's nice and true her decision to do it that way.
With you it is completely different. You know how nice an orgasm feels and your hymen is destroyed. This makes the argument for a CB invalid.
What your mother claimed for herself also applies to you. She had decided to go into marriage as a virgin. So it is also solely your right to decide how you want to handle it. Whether you only want to be intimate with your Ms./Mr. Right after the marriage or before or you make it dependent on other things.

Another train of thought to ponder.
I don't want to belittle or question the special moment your parents had on their wedding night. If that moment was so indescribably unique, why have sex at all afterwards? Everything that comes after that can only be worse. From my experience I can tell you that every time I was intimate with my new girlfriend for the first time it was also a special moment. There were also special moments in our relationship due to special circumstances. Every single one stands for itself and cannot be compared with the other moments.

Angelina

Vanessa Right,as they order the D-rings.

according to the motto "for all cases" or let's see how far we can go 🙁

Jen Orgasm has never been talked about

that is the problem, if she has any expectations of you in terms of sex or masturbation, she should talk to you openly about it, only in this way can acceptance be achieved.

Jen Well I agree with them on half of that. But my point was I was in a fragile state - I'm much better now. The first night when I ran off I was at my limit, if they kept pushing I think I would have caved.

good that you're feeling better again and you still didn't caved 🙂

HHelen

Vanessa Difficult to make them trust her,I guess.

Everyone makes mistakes and the lesson has been learned.

Joh

Jen The first night when I ran off

Could you go to a friend?

Vanessa

Jen I think really a virgin just not physically. But it's ok for others to view it differently.

I agree with you.

Jen Not much has been said to me

Good.Do you think they given up,or only delayed it?

Jen The first night when I ran off I was at my limit, if they kept pushing I think I would have caved.

You think you would be able to resist more,now?

Angelina let's see how far we can go 🙁

Possible they wanted to have these in the case they can convince her to add it;at least,they probably have thought about it.

Angelina that is the problem, if she has any expectations of you in terms of sex or masturbation, she should talk to you openly about it, only in this way can acceptance be achieved.

I agree,it should have been talked about.

HHelen

I think too,they could give her at least a second chance to prove she can be trusted.How can she prove it if they don't?

Gina

Jen I think I would have caved

Many people here are telling you not to agree. They may be right for them, but perhaps not right for you. Obeying your parents is often the best way. I know it is for me.

Jen

Joh I just went to my room and they left me alone
Run off - I mean I ran away from the conversation not from home

Joh

Jen I mean I ran away from the conversation not from home

OK. Thank you.

Jen

I think this is over. There was another serious talk today but not about the belt. Like you hear the term elephant in the room well this was the biggest elephant that ever lived and just ignored.
So Dad said they want me to make a promise. He said it is reasonable and he thinks I can keep it so don't promise unless I really mean it. He said I need to promise to never have a sex toy in their house or use anything in the house in a sexual way. Also he said it is a promise forever, if I leave home and come back it still applies.
So I made the promise. It's better than I thought they were going to say. Also they brought up virgin until married again and I agreed again that is what I want too.

Angelina if she has any expectations of you in terms of sex or masturbation, she should talk to you openly about it

Vanessa I agree,it should have been talked about.

I think I'm glad she didn't. I now know that she is against it but it seems it will be tolerated as long as there are no toys. I'm glad to not have guilt about it.

Angelina good that you're feeling better again and you still didn't caved 🙂

Thanks I don't talk about this with anyone so nice to have support here. Also to the others who helped.

Vanessa You think you would be able to resist more,now?

Yes, after getting through the first night I felt much more that I really could refuse, not just hoping I could.

Joh How is school going? Is it better to be out of the house and with friends?

Yes it was good to be back. And even better I'll be allowed to have some money to go out with friends again. I'm not getting pocket money, but they will put money in my account for specific things and they have a login to check.

Gina I don't know how it could have ever worked. If I'd gone along with it for a while it would have been more misery later.

HHelen And she is not even supposed to masturbate.

Luckily it is ignored🥳

Joh

HHelen Everyone makes mistakes and the lesson has been learned.

From your opinion who did the mistake and what did they learn?

HHelen

Joh From your opinion who did the mistake and what did they learn?

@Jen did with her toy. And she has learned to not do it again.

Vanessa they could give her at least a second chance to prove she can be trusted

And she is not even supposed to masturbate.

Angelina

Vanessa Possible they wanted to have these in the case they can convince her to add it;at least,they probably have thought about it.

That's what I meant by seeing how far we can go

Gina Obeying your parents is often the best way.

In my opinion, obeying is the wrong word, understand and accept would be better.

Joh It is depended on many things like culture at your country, law, common sense, social environment, etc.

it really only depends on your personal attitude to the overall situation 😉 (and yes I know you will disagree with me)

Jen I think this is over. There was another serious talk today but not about the belt. Like you hear the term elephant in the room well this was the biggest elephant that ever lived and just ignored.
So Dad said they want me to make a promise. He said it is reasonable and he thinks I can keep it so don't promise unless I really mean it. He said I need to promise to never have a sex toy in their house or use anything in the house in a sexual way. Also he said it is a promise forever, if I leave home and come back it still applies.
So I made the promise. It's better than I thought they were going to say. Also they brought up virgin until married again and I agreed again that is what I want too.

thanks for the update, i think the conversation was very important for both sides. it's good that you were able to avoid the belt. i think the promise is very honourable and because you don't seem completely averse to the idea of going into the wedding as a virgin, it also seems to be feasible 🙂

a_father

Gina Perhapse you agreed too early? @Jen can still avoid the belt. Are you envious?

Joh

Gina Many people here are telling you not to agree. They may be right for them, but perhaps not right for you. Obeying your parents is often the best way. I know it is for me.

If it was a good decision it can be a bad one for another person.
It is depended on many things like culture at your country, law, common sense, social environment, etc.

Joh

Jen They are still disagreeing otherwise something would have been said to me.

Something changed at their view at the topic?
How is school going? Is it better to be out of the house and with friends?

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